Be Careful What You Say.

[Barbara_Jean]

I got to thinking about something that happened to me and thought I’d share it with you.
To give you a little background on me, NO ONE knows about me being Transgendered and my dressing, NO ONE!! This is something I have hidden from the world all of my life. I have decided to confide in a good friend, a GG, but that will be another story for another time.

A little over a year ago, I met a woman on an on line dating site. We e-mailed for a while then she gave me her phone number and I called her. We talked several times then decided to meet so I invited her to a very nice restaurant for a fancy dinner with wine, and told her since it was a special occasion, I was going to wear a suit and tie. She said she was going to wear a dress. I told her how refreshing that would be since most women I see don’t wear dresses. She said she needed a new pair of shoes though since she did not have a nice pair of heels. So we got to talking about dresses and heels, I asked her what kind of heels she was looking for, sling backs, Mary Janes, and how high a heel. I said I thought a 3 inch would look nice. I can’t remember the whole conversation, but after a couple minutes she said to me “How do you know so much about women’s clothes? Are you a crossdresser??”

I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. I hesitated for what seamed like an hour, but was really only a second, then I said “Would that be a problem if I was?”
HA, Now the ball is in HER Court! She hesitated for a few seconds, and then said “Well, no…. but it would be kind of a shock!”
Well I decided to let her off the hook and I told her I was not, as I said NO ONE knows!
Well we dated for about a month and it didn’t work out (like always for me) but that is OK. She was not right for me any way and really only wanted someone to take her out and spend money on her. However, I did find out that she helped start “The Out Center” in our local town which is a GLBT center and they have all kinds of activities for people to do in a safe environment. (Our town is VERY Conservative and no accepting) She is straight, but does a lot of charity work like that.
Well it just goes to show you, that you need to be careful when talking that you do not “tip your hand”!!

[Kate Simmons]

Good experience Hon but I'm thinking I would have told her about myself as I would have figured "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." But evidently you had your reasons for doing what you did.

[kimdl93]

As it turns out, you might have tipped your hand and after the initial shock, it probably wouldn't have phased her in the least.

[Cynthia Anne]

How true it is! Mouth in gear while brain is napping! The good thing is that you know a gold digger when you see one! Hugs!

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE="4"]Which brings up the thought, what if you had said yes to her question about CDing. Then you would have been completely open with her (hopefully) and things might have gone differently. Hmmmmmm.[/SIZE]

[Barbara_Jean]

Yeah, I have thought over the last year or so what if I had told her I am transgendered, what would have happened. I guess I'll never know, but looking back I'm glad it didn't work out.
She had a computer that went bad, so I had an older one of my own that I lent her. I took her and a friend of hers out to dinner and a movie and paid for everything. Well after dinner I loaded the computer, monitor, keyboard, mouse and a few other things in her car. She then told me that she needed some "Alone Time" and "We would Talk"!!! I did finally get my computer back five months later, but never have heard from her since. Oh well.. I'm glad I didn't tell her.
There are more things to tell, but for another time and another story.

[catherinefifty]

I think that I would have told her, as you had not even met yet. If there was an issue from her perspective, no real loss. Based on this last post, it sounds like a good thing for you that she was not your match.

[Ms Mira]

Yeah, gotta go with "you should have told her". What's the point of not tipping your hand, really?

Doesn't sound like she was right for you, but *shrug*

[linda allen]

Yes, you have to watch what you say. I think my wife will slip up before I do. She was packing for a trip and made a list. One thing on the list was "My (meaning her) bras". Now if your husband doesn't have his own bras, wouldn't most women write "bras"?

I posted about her telling a friend about a blouse she bought and almost telling her that I got one in a different color.

[GBJoker]

[SIZE="4"]Which brings up the thought, what if you had said yes to her question about CDing. Then you would have been completely open with her (hopefully) and things might have gone differently. Hmmmmmm.[/SIZE]

And so, the discussion of not spilling the beans to soon, and the other option of future you regretting things past you didn't do.

But for myself, I have never said anything to any one I cared about that would even hint at some sort of secret. Despite this, people find it hard to trust me with secrets for some reason...

[ReineD]

Well we dated for about a month and it didn’t work out (like always for me) but that is OK. She was not right for me any way and really only wanted someone to take her out and spend money on her.

Thanks for sharing your story. But I have a question. Why does it never work out? Is it because she didn't offer to pay for dinner once in a while, or maybe offer to cook you a meal? I mean was it just about the money, or were there aspects of her personality that didn't mesh with yours and if so, what were they?

You sound like a very nice person and I'm just curious. I hope you don't mind the question.

[Foxglove]

For me, this is one of the main reasons I'd like to be out. Suppose a woman always had to watch her mouth so as not to clue others in on the fact that she's a woman. Or a man had to be careful so no one would find out he's a man.

Me, I don't mind being TG. In fact, I like being TG. But it is a nuisance having to hide the fact that you're TG. No wonder we TG people sometimes feel a bit of a strain. I have considered the idea of just telling everybody what I am. Even if I never present in public the way I'd like to. That way I wouldn't have to worry about keeping my secret any more. I wonder if it would make life easier.

Best wishes, Annabelle

[marybeth_1967]

I think you made the right decision to to share your inner self with someone that you were just getting to know. It's amazing when you meet someone new and discover how many connections we all have. She could have been pit off and all you would have done is risk am announcement that you may not be ready to announce. Thanks for the story.

[Barbara_Jean]

Thanks for sharing your story. But I have a question. Why does it never work out? Is it because she didn't offer to pay for dinner once in a while, or maybe offer to cook you a meal? I mean was it just about the money, or were there aspects of her personality that didn't mesh with yours and if so, what were they?

You sound like a very nice person and I'm just curious. I hope you don't mind the question.

Reine
I have never had any luck with girlfriends all my life. Nothing ever goes right and I think it's because I have always been TG, just not owning up to it until the last couple of years. I have been fighting it. Don't get me wrong, I do like girls, I just want to be one.
She was OK, but kept a lot of stuff from me, like for example, we dated for a month and I never saw where she lived. She never wanted me to come to her house and pick her up, always she met me. Now I could understand the first few times, but after a month that was a little strange. She also never wanted to meet any of my friends, but wanted me to meet some of hers and of course take one out for dinner and a movie on my tab. She did say she wanted to cook dinner for me, but never made any effort to do so. She did take me out once for dinner and paid. I don't know I would say there was anything wrong with her, I think our personalities were OK, not perfect, but OK. I guess looking back the right thing did happen, but I do feel she took advantage of me. I wish her all the best though and I hope she will be happy.