Being more open minded to the LGBTQ community and others as a whole

[Maddie22]

Has being and embracing yourself as a crossdresser, transsexual, or any other identified transgender person, made you more open minded to the LGBTQ community any more? Have you become more open minded to all others in general as well?

I know for myself, I've always had a couple of gay friends since starting college. However I didn't find myself to be an advocate for LGBTQ rights (I supported LGBTQ rights, just wasn't a concern of mine).

As I have opened up to myself and started to embrace the fact that I'm not of the normal gender "code", I've embraced the LGBTQ community more to participation levels. I'm excited about the first Pride that I'll actually be in town to go to this weekend. Before embracing this side of me, I never would go to a pride event unless invited by a group to tag along. I'm more comfortable around all forms of PDA as well, watch LGBTQ socially conscious documentaries and even regular LGBTQ movies.

Maybe I've just opened myself up to realizing that I'm welcomed into that community without judgement and I believe that LGBTQ rights include my rights and they are worth fighting for.

As of being open to all people, I always have been a very open minded person to different cultures and religions no matter. I have noticed though that since embracing this side of me, more people have noticed how much of an open minded person I am, and as a result come to me for advice or when they need someone to open up to.

Have any of you experienced similar situations and have been more open to the LGBTQ community as well as others in general?

[ArleneRaquel]

Maddie,
I love your post & the sentiments expressed.

[NathalieX66]

Well, that's good.
For the most, perhaps, all part, everyone I've ever met with the spectrum of the LGBT community have been wonderful contributing members of society.

It's a bit of a shocker once you realize that you , me included, are actually a part of that community. I t took me a long time to accept this side of me, but once I did, I felt like a part of a greater movement. I'm not much of a Pride parade participant, but I do support those that do march.

I live this side of me in the deepest of public spectrums a couple times month, that's all I need. I am happy. I still can't believe I'm doing it after two and a half years, in the sense that I used to think that such a thing was not possible........buit here I am today.

[RADER]

I wish more people like your self felt that way; We are all on this planet together,
We should learn to respect and live with each other. Life is way to short to be cruel
to one another.
Rader

[Marleena]

Maddie,
I love your post & the sentiments expressed.

Me too! Great topic!

When I was younger and playing the macho guy role I joked along with the guys about gay pople even though I knew it was wrong. As I got older I avoided those topics and sometimes defended gay people or just opted out of the conversations. That got people wondering about me.

I do not care about anybody's sexual preferences, it makes no difference to me at all. As long as they're cool is all that matters. I now realize genetics is the real culprit.

[AllieSF]

I have embraced my transgenderism as another of life's learning processes. I came from the mid-west and gays/lesbians were not normal conversation. Once I moved to the much more liberal and accepting and very diverse San Francisco Bay Area, my diversity learning took a quantum leap forward. I have changed for the better and what was maybe unacceptable to me before is now accepted and embraced as I realize that everyone is different and deserves to be treated with respect. Now that I have discovered this side of me, my continuing education .... continues, and I am loving it.

[CarolineM]

It was one of those light bulb sort of moments really - when I'd accepted myself and my crossdressing, I realised I had no excuse to not accept anyone else who has a similar gender/sexual orientation which isn't accepted as normal by society. And I mean full acceptance, rather than just lip service to it: not just a kind of yes, that's your thing and so long as it doesn't impinge on my life then carry on, but a full: Yes, that's absolutely fine, there's nothing wrong with what you're doing, mind if I also consider trying it?

Not that I do think I'm gay but just not afraid that I might be, which I was for a long time.

One of my earliest dreams (and this has just occurred to me, reading this post) is of a guy at high school, me sitting in a chair, I think wearing a dress, maybe even a wedding dress, and getting the biggest hug from behind, just being held in his arms and embraced. I've always pushed that down and avoided thinking about its implications. Wish I hadn't. So many years ago.

xxx

Caroline

[GBJoker]

I've had the exact opposite experience. Since coming out about both B and T, I've been... Severely jarred by the response by the LGBT community to me. So far, this site is the only "group" or "subsector" that hasn't strung up effigies of me to tar, feather, and burn.

Ironically, what did "open up" my mind to stuff concerning the LGBT community was.............................. Economics.

[noeleena]

Hi.

Id have to go back 54 years, concerning two gay men yes i was about 10 .

were we lived Mum & i & Mums Mum & Dad. they were with us for about 7 years because my grandmother was bed ridden, with arthritus, really bad so Granddad looked after her.

Okay next door we had a family of 4 Mum Dad & one girl & her brother, the girl is of cause a friend who has known me since that time & we have contact & do see each other & yes knows what i was then & now.

When they moved a few miles away two guys brought thier house, so all seemed normal well to me any way . one day Mum said those two guys are gay.... okay no bigge for me yet what may have been strange is i knew before Mum told me i said okay & that was the end of that Now how would i have known just did as i grow we were friends & niebours till well had to move because council needed our land for a new river back up. we still had contact for a number of years after,

another side to me is i get on very well with those who have body disfunstion & more so those with mental problems well 37 years of .

The trans community is a bit different for me though i have tryed to be a part of that being so far away from a section it became quite hard, though i have been involved with the Human rights people i sort of felt a bit out of the trans community because of being intersexed, i tryed to relate to or with the dress'ers, it was like & Jos & i talked about this why am i going back in to a group of men knowing i spent most of my life trying to keep as far away as i could, hated being around men, in large groups i was very uncomforable & i mean very.

The T S well i do have a few as friends though even they unless they wont or need to understand about us & our differences it too became hard to work through.those i know are okay with me yet i know they dont fully comprend how can they .

So what was left for me was to go back to were i belong with women who are the same as how i think. its like i left my home of women yet iv had to come back to remain sane, even being intersexed im still a female / woman that has never changed,

Im just faceing what it was & has been like for some one who comes as different

.I wonder what it would be like to be able to meet up with those of you here, how would that go. may be a lot easyer because we have contact here with in this forum & pretty much what i write about Jos family
& friends & myself, i hope
you get a good idear of what im about as a person & as a woman.

...noeleena...

[Maddie22]

Maddie,
I love your post & the sentiments expressed.

Aww, thank you very much!!!

I've had the exact opposite experience. Since coming out about both B and T, I've been... Severely jarred by the response by the LGBT community to me. So far, this site is the only "group" or "subsector" that hasn't strung up effigies of me to tar, feather, and burn.

Ironically, what did "open up" my mind to stuff concerning the LGBT community was.............................. Economics.

I don't want this thread to be about regional differences at all, however towards GBJoker's comments - that is too bad you've had this experience, especially noticing you're from St. Louis which is now where I'm living. I've only just recently moved here, and while I really don't care for the area, I have been well embraced by the LGBTQ community here. I feel like the LGBTQ community here has been much more open and positive than the rest of the St. Louis community.

Like I said early, this weekend is pride weekend for us here. It'll be my first time really taking an active participation, and I'm really excited. Even though pride is for the LGBTQ community, I feel like Pride can and does have a greater impact as just an equal rights for all of humanity. It's a movement for love and respect for one another. That is what I'm really excited for!

[LisaMallon]

Actually I've never cared about that. I always work through:

Are you interesting? Maybe you have had an interesting life, maybe you have done great things, maybe you have ‘just’ done good things, maybe you can tell some wonderful stories, maybe you can sing beautifully, or play a guitar or ...
Maybe you have worked honestly and been a good person all your life and can tell all the stories about that.
And you enrich my life by knowing you.

Are you a good person? You are not a user or a liar or a swine or a sociopath. And yes , like us all, you may have hurt other people at times, but you remember and regret those times.
But, by and large, your heart is in the right place, you like other people to be happy. You feel no need to hurt others to feel better about yourself.

Have you been hurt? Have you lost someone or something you love.
Of the many things that can bring us together is the sense of shared loss, that others have been hurt as we have.

Are you still fighting.
For others, against people that hurt other people, for your ideals, for a better life, for your loved ones, even against your own depression, you fight and don’t give up ...
Injustice is wrong, for everyone, for anyone and for all time. And for all those who fight against it .. well whatever our other differences we share a bond.

As for the other things:
Oh you are yellow/ black/white/ Jewish/Muslim/ /Catholic/Protestant/ lesbian/male/female/ intersexed/transgendered/gay/bisexual/young/old/upperclass/ lower class/ labour/conservative/libertarian/……........... As if I care about those trivialities.

[Kate Simmons]

I have many LGBT friends but refuse to become any kind of activist simply because I am my own person and don't follow the agendas of others. I take most folks at face value and appreciate them for who they are as individuals as that is the person I know and can relate to. I think sometimes human society goes out of its' way to make embracing humanity difficult.

[Billiebluenose1878 GG]

I used to work with a couple of gays ...they soo lovely kind and sweet ..... and i have no issues with the LGBT and would be honoured to call all friends xxxx

[Annie D]

Hey Maddie, I agree! Growing up in St. Louis and being a "so called" jock we used to do and say things that I am now completely ashamed for. I don't think, however, it is necessarily because I am a member of the transgender community but rather because I have matured as a person. I think our acceptance is based upon people's willingness to let us be who we are as long as we don't infringe on their rights and freedoms doing our thing. From your picture, you look young enough to be my daughter and from the changes that I have seen in my lifetime and can predict that in your lifetime, crossdressers will be as accepted as everyone else in the LGBTQ community.

Hey, I am a Ritenour grad and my age and graduating class are the same.

[Ms Mira]

It's funny: back in the day, I used to look at an LGTBQ flag and didn't see any relevance to who I am. Then one day, I realized... I'm L, G, T, B AND Q. Jeez. At least, a bit of each in some ways.

There's so much we CDs could learn by participating more in LGTBQ communities IMO.

[kimdl93]

To be honest, I was as guilty as anyone - perhaps more guilty - of making overtly homophobic statments. One day, a friend called me on it - asking why gays should bother me so much. It instantly became apparent to me that I was over compensating...expressing intolerance for gays and transgendered people in an effort to deny such characteristics in myself.

As I've come to grips with my own gender identity, I have grown far more accepting of differences in others.

[Marie-Elise]

I can say that I come from a culture that is really homophobic. I grew up thinking this was the norm.

However, when I got out of college, my first job was with a company owned by a gay man and most of the employees were openly gay. This was the late 80s/early 90s. They were really a great bunch of people and I realized what I had been taught growing up was a bunch of hooey.

I am in my forties not and unfortunately did not come to the realization of how big a part of me crossdressing is until I told my wife about 18 months ago. Now, I look back and wish I would have had more self awareness in my twenties. One of the men I worked with was a crossdresser (and gay) and I really wish I would have had his courage to be who he is. I could have been really hot.

Anyway, water under the bridge.

So, to your point about being more tolerant: I have always been very open minded and have supported LGBT causes since my experience at that company. Since coming out to myself, I can't say I support the causes more. But I can say that I identify with them in that today, I feel like LGBT issues are my issues.

[Cheryl T]

I've always been open to everyone, having gone through the "free love" era of the 60's and early 70's.
Coming to accept myself just acknowledged all that I felt before about diversity and acceptance of others.

[EllieOPKS]

When I was in high school, there was a gay guy that was harassed shamelessly by a bunch of jocks. I had no thoughts or consideration for him until I saw his sister standing down the hall while a bunch of guys were giving him a hard time. She had tears rolling down her cheeks. That was my awakening. It was the beginning for me when I started putting down the cool aid and started thinking for myself. Guys my age were indoctrinated to believe Russians were satans soldiers. When I met a Russian couple, I realized the cool aid again was tainted. I have never nor will I ever meet someone and even consider there sexual preferences because it is their sole right and no one else s business. Being open minded is not difficult once you give it a try. With that being said, I don't particularly care for the Pride parades simply because the media (with cool aid in hand) tries to paint it as a freak show, in my opinion.

[Marie-Elise]

When I was in high school, there was a gay guy that was harassed shamelessly by a bunch of jocks. I had no thoughts or consideration for him until I saw his sister standing down the hall while a bunch of guys were giving him a hard time. She had tears rolling down her cheeks. That was my awakening. It was the beginning for me when I started putting down the cool aid and started thinking for myself. Guys my age were indoctrinated to believe Russians were satans soldiers. When I met a Russian couple, I realized the cool aid again was tainted. I have never nor will I ever meet someone and even consider there sexual preferences because it is their sole right and no one else s business. Being open minded is not difficult once you give it a try. With that being said, I don't particularly care for the Pride parades simply because the media (with cool aid in hand) tries to paint it as a freak show, in my opinion.

Great thoughts. We must be aware of the cool aid. I wish more people thought like you; it might alleviate a lot of the problems we have today.

[Alice Torn]

Kate said it for me. i see each person, gay, straaight, bi, or cd, as an individual. I really can't stand group think.

[Tracii G]

Great thread Maddie glad you posted it.
Since coming out to myself and a few others and participating in a Trans support group which is part of the local LGBT here I have been involved.

[JamieG]

Has being and embracing yourself as a crossdresser, transsexual, or any other identified transgender person, made you more open minded to the LGBTQ community any more? Have you become more open minded to all others in general as well?

Absolutely. Before, I accepted myself, I was (I'm ashamed to say) a bit homophobic. No, I didn't go beat anyone up or even harass someone, but I did engage in jokes that clearly would have hurt any closeted people around me. Year later, I met my wife, who had two close male friends that had recently come out the closet. I was uncomfortable with them at first, but as I got to know them and their partners, I began to realize that gay people are just like everyone else: there is as much variation in their hopes, dreams, compassion, humor, etc. as you find in the straight population. In a way perhaps, accepting them was a step towards accepting myself and finally coming out to my wife.

In the last few years, I have become more active in LGBT issues. I work at a college, and have gotten involved as an "ally" with the student LGBT group. Maybe one day I'll have the confidence to come clean and tell them that I'm more than just an ally.

[Lorileah]

Maybe I am an old Hippee after all. I have always supported equal rights for everyone no matter what the reason. I think that as long as you are not doing anything that hurts another person, you should be treated equally. So I have always (well for 40 years) supported LGBT causes. Maybe it was just that I was latent and knew it was something that would effect me.

[Foxglove]

I grew up in a pretty homophobic environment, but somehow I just never got in the swing of things. I spent a good bit of my youth wandering around unconscious, never thinking about much of anything, so it never occurred to me I should hate gay people. Not being gay myself, I didn't feel terribly warm towards them, but I never liked gay-bashing, either.

Since coming out to myself as TG, I've come to have a lot more sympathy with Gays and Lesbians. I do see them as potential friends and allies. Whether they'd see me in the same light, I don't know.

Annabelle