Gender confusion question

[NathalieX66]

Gender is a spectrum, not an absolute place. Pick your spot....feel free to move about.

Most folks fit somewhere in the binary of gender, i.e, you are either male or female.

Transsexuals also fit in the gender binary, they just happen to not fit in the the gender they were born with.

Many folks like myself are non-binary, and tend to float somewhere along the gender spectrum, and not staying in one place. Gender fluid or bi-gender are two terms, both fit me well. I like the aspect of being both feminine and masculine.

[AmandaM]

Thank you. It is a great comfort to know that I am not the only one that needs to find a balance. I have long thought that gender identity is either male or female. It is only recently that I have considered that both may be a possibility. It's really a shame that such questions have to be so difficult I honestly think in a world where gender identity is viewed as a variable most of our lives would be much simpler.

Hi Delila, I am inbetween too as far as I can tell. I think I'm "mostly" female. When I'm in guy mode, I go from feeling comfortable, to be being uncomfortable, at no time do I "enjoy" being a guy. When I'm in drag, I go from feeling comfortable, to being very relaxed and happy. At no time am I uncomfortable. I also have TS feelings that range from an annoyance to downright distressful. I don't know if they're genuine, or the product of stress. The grass is greener kind of thing. In my viewpoint, I'm at least a "True Transvestite", to use an old term. I think I could be a non-op TS, but I'm not sure. I sometimes want to grow breasts, remove my beard, etc. and have toyed with the idea of SRS and FFS. But I don't want to harm the way we're raising our kids for it. Besides, like I said, I'm not sure about the extent of my potential TS'ism. Would I try to live as a woman, I don't know, it's an attractive idea. If I could get away with it, and "pass", etc. I think I'd try. I guess in summation, I'm just inbetween TV and TS and "float" back and forth from one to the other.

[bobbimo]

Hi Delila,
Its a very confusing thing we do, and the more we do it the more confusing it gets.
There are several web site that off free gender tests.
Ive taken several of them and they all they all me I need both genders in my life to be happy.
That was a great relief to not have to wonder if I should be a woman, and not a man.
SO CD fits me perfectly. I can enjoy the best of both genders

[jillleanne]

It's true that none of us were raised in environments that taught us about gender and sexual variance. We do understand more about sexual variance than a few generations ago, but the topic of gender non-conformity is very slow coming to the forefront of societal awareness.

What's important is for you to follow your own feelings. If you feel like being a girl, be a girl and enjoy it. Do the same if you feel like being a guy. And if sometimes you like to be in between, then just be in betwe

I'll tell you something else about my SO. She realized that her gender expression is one of many parts of who she is. She also has her work that is hugely important to her, other passions, family members, political beliefs, etc. And she is involved with others, doing all these things. She realized a long time ago that the world she lives in is not ready to fully understand someone who is outside of the gender binary (strictly neither male nor female). And so she has weighed all her options, decided what is more and less important to her, and she has constructed her life so that she can be herself whenever she wants to, while preserving the aspects of her male life that she also cherishes, with people who cannot understand her/him. Like I said, she has achieved her very own balance, her very own definitions with all of this and she is happy.

Yep, that's me to a 'T'.

[Maddie22]

This may be in the wrong thread but I have a question related to gender confusion. I have shifted back on forth on my gender identity. My question is do any of you think that there is some middle ground whith gender? I shift often between fully wanting to be female and wanting to be a CDer. I sometimes or even often wish that I could live fully female but I also want to be male sometimes. The sometimes wanting to be male are usually plagued by my wanting to dress. I wish I could go further but not lose my male part of myself. I love my wife and sexually I usually identify as male but there are plently of times I identify as female. I suppose my question is are there any out there that have found a middle ground between crossdressing with potential body modifications and going full female?

I understand where you're coming from completely! I know many crossdressers here are very comfortable with just that, being a crossdresser where it's just about the clothes. I may appear or have the lifestyle of what some would consider a hyper or intense crossdresser, but I don't identify mentally with that. It's not about the clothes for me, it's much more than that.

While many people here have brought up that gender is set on a continuum, most people still look at it as a continuum on a line. i think of it as a continuum that is an infinite sphere. You can be very masculine in some areas of life, and very feminine in other areas. You say you're trying to find a middle ground, I would pose for you to try to find a balance or equilibrium which is what my current goals are.

Sometimes I feel that I have dual natures, or perhaps bigendered. However, I'm not comfortable with the two selves thought either. I want to find ME as a whole person. Right now, I'm trying to accept my feminine characteristics (including mannerisims, personality, thoughts, self expression etc...) into my everyday existence no matter if I'm presenting as a female or male.

I'm not ruling out that I may need to transition, if that is where my balance is in fact. However I need to be totally sure of that, and thus, I continue my pursuit of finding that balance or equilibrium.

As long as your living life and not hurting others, experiment with yourself and find out what you feel comfortable with and what you don't feel comfortable with. See what aspects of mixing your femininity with your masculinity make you the most happy!

I wish you much luck on your journey!