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Thread: Crossdressing and male attraction

  1. #1
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    Crossdressing and male attraction

    I'm new here and have really enjoyed it so far. I'm not sure whats proper conversation for sure so please tell me if I'm breaking a rule.

    I have not been crossdressing seriously very long, but experimented with it as a teen onward on and off. I have always been attracted to womens attire even when young, and found myself picturing myself wearing the clothing in catalogs and stores. Since at least my early twenties I have had fantasies about being with a man. The thing is these fantasies were of me dressed as a woman. I don't look at men sexually in day to day life. When I think of two men together it's a turn off. But when dressed I feel differently about it.

    So when I did start recently take up crossdressing seriously I felt I had to try to be with a guy. Some things I enjoyed and somethings I didn't. I have tried kissing the only two men I have been with and talk about a weird feeling. Absolutely nothing chemistry wise at all. Actually I found it unpleasant (icky) and it felt nothing like I feel when I kiss a GG.

    This is confusing to me because there is a certain body part GG's don't have I found I do very much like. Like I said I'm not sure I can even consider myself bisexual because there is only one part of a man that turns me on and nothing else sexually(kiss, touch) about them does. Now being dressed and pretending to be a woman with a man is very exciting to me and I can't help to confess I liked it.

    I know some crossdressers do not want to be with men at all. But how many of you are like me who feel the need to or like the idea of being with men although you are not turned on by the men per se, just some of the things you can do with one?

    Also for those who have SO's how is this topic ever delt with? I am really at a loss to see how I could ever even have a serious relationship with a GG again, much less ever marrying having a desire to be with a man when I'm dressed.

  2. #2
    Member Sandy Michaels's Avatar
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    i understand what you are saying. at first i was like that. for the most part i still am. iv'e been trying to figure those thoughts out. i accepted that i was attracted to "that" and not the person it's attached to. now i find myself attracted to the whole person. i think once you start accepting ideas you will start to understand them better.

  3. #3
    Frenchtoastowls Antoinette's Avatar
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    I'm not attracted to men in any sense. One of my recent issues being that may gay friend claims I kissed him when I was drunk. He told my girlfriend and never told me, at all. I know for a fact it didn't happen but my girlfriend believe it did. Simply because to her there's no other reason why I would crossdress unless it was to attract men. So it's still a major issue in my relationship and I think it'll end because of it.
    Finally got to making a facebook
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003854850084

    And now on instagram (got sucked into the hype). I go by frenchtoastowls. Yea you read that right!

    If you're gonna add me just give me a heads up on who you are
    please

  4. #4
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    I myself would never be with a man;
    That said, you have to find what you like and try it out.
    If being with a man, means icky kissing, then maybe you should stick with girls.
    Most cross dressers are hetero-sexual, they like girls only. and like myself, like to wear their clothes.
    I guess that is what some of us are all about, yet some only want to be with a man.
    This is a choicest only you can make.
    Rader

  5. #5
    ~ M2F Lezzie ~ Annaliese2010's Avatar
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    I have NO desire to be with a man. In fact I have no desire to relate in any way with males on any level. I get attention from men sometimes but completely ignore it..it's as if they don't even exist or are so off my radar as to be 'invisible'. I'm crazy about GG's I meet for whom I feel an attraction or some chemistry and prefer relationships with them. I can relate to them from the standpoint of my male self - but - the best is when a GG likes both my male self and at times get turned on being with my female self. Though I could handle a GG relationship where she mostly wants to interact with me as a girl.

    I'm open to a relationship with another M2F transgendered girl but only if I feel a strong natural attraction to her and only if she is truly transgendered...meaning, if she is really truly thinking experiencing behaving & feeling immersed in her feminine self. Thats not being gay, that's two girls being together. It's really more accurately a form of lesbianism not male on male.

    Which is why I could never be with a male CD..a man who dresses in womans clothes yet lacks any well developed genuine female self that is deeply felt & immediately present and moment to moment expressive. But if there is no real self identification with a nascent inner female self, or where his female side is shallow, not well developed and not predominant, that individual is not transgendered but a male CD...not a girl. There IS a difference.

  6. #6
    Always be happy Mistybtm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toni_62 View Post
    So when I did start recently take up crossdressing seriously I felt I had to try to be with a guy. Some things I enjoyed and somethings I didn't. I have tried kissing the only two men I have been with and talk about a weird feeling. Absolutely nothing chemistry wise at all. Actually I found it unpleasant (icky) and it felt nothing like I feel when I kiss a GG.

    This is confusing to me because there is a certain body part GG's don't have I found I do very much like. Like I said I'm not sure I can even consider myself bisexual because there is only one part of a man that turns me on and nothing else sexually(kiss, touch) about them does. Now being dressed and pretending to be a woman with a man is very exciting to me and I can't help to confess I liked it.

    But how many of you are like me who feel the need to or like the idea of being with men although you are not turned on by the men per se, just some of the things you can do with one? .
    I feel the same way as you do I love being with a man sexualy but that is where it ends.
    Mistybtm

  7. #7
    Senior Member paulaprimo's Avatar
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    hi toni,
    no rule broken here. this subject pops up over and over again.
    you are not alone in the way you feel. stats say most cd'ers are "straight", but there are many bi-cd'ers here also.
    and make no mistake, male with male sex, makes you at least bi, even when dressed. but like you, in my day to day life, i enjoy chasing the women and not
    at all interested in men. BUT, when dressed, i am only interested in men and not women. i am divorced, so i do have the freedom of choice.
    paula

  8. #8
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toni_62 View Post
    Also for those who have SO's how is this topic ever delt with? I am really at a loss to see how I could ever even have a serious relationship with a GG again, much less ever marrying having a desire to be with a man when I'm dressed.
    You need to come to terms with the fact that you are not bi. You are not attracted to men, not even when you are dressed. I say this based on your following words:

    Quote Originally Posted by toni_62 View Post
    I don't look at men sexually in day to day life. When I think of two men together it's a turn off. But when dressed I feel differently about it.
    Quote Originally Posted by toni_62 View Post
    I have tried kissing the only two men I have been with and talk about a weird feeling. Absolutely nothing chemistry wise at all. Actually I found it unpleasant (icky) and it felt nothing like I feel when I kiss a GG.
    But, you do enjoy feeling feminine, and what better way to enhance your femininity than to be the recipent (while imagining that you have a vagina) of the body part that a that a man has and a woman doesn't:

    Quote Originally Posted by toni_62 View Post
    This is confusing to me because there is a certain body part GG's don't have I found I do very much like. Like I said I'm not sure I can even consider myself bisexual because there is only one part of a man that turns me on and nothing else sexually(kiss, touch) about them does. Now being dressed and pretending to be a woman with a man is very exciting to me and I can't help to confess I liked it.
    The term for this is "autogynephilia": the love of oneself as a woman. Some CDers prefer to engage in the fantasies solo, while others seek men (only for that one body part). If you do not find men attractive and you feel no chemistry, then you are not attracted to them.

    The best solution would be to get into a relationship with a woman who sees and loves all your gender facets. If you can give yourself permission to feel feminine with her and if the two of you can be creative in bed, then all your dreams will be fulfilled.
    Reine

  9. #9
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    ReineD I think you pretty much hit the nail on the head. I have a hard time considering myself bi because I am also completely turned off by a guy wanting to return the favor for me, or them wanting me to use mine on them. Which makes sexual encounters awkward to say the least, and a major reason I have not sought out more of them.

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member Noemi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antoinette View Post
    I'm not attracted to men in any sense. One of my recent issues being that may gay friend claims I kissed him when I was drunk. He told my girlfriend and never told me, at all. I know for a fact it didn't happen but my girlfriend believe it did. Simply because to her there's no other reason why I would crossdress unless it was to attract men. So it's still a major issue in my relationship and I think it'll end because of it.
    Double Drat.
    Not a good friend, I know gay people that have similar hang ups and I avoid.
    She should have some faith in you. Go buy her some thing immediately....she will like you again, if you want her around.
    "An unexpected gift is the key that unlocks a woman's heart."


    Noemi
    Last edited by Noemi; 06-29-2012 at 11:17 PM. Reason: sp
    polythene pam

  11. #11
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Toni, at least you've gone out there and tried it, so now you know what fits and what doesn't.

    I can't tell you how many people stay stuck in the fantasy, without ever actually determining for themselves what works and what doesn't. And this can wreak havoc when they try to get into relationships with GGs, or when they are in relationships but stop enjoying sex with them because they're stuck in a fantasy.

    Good on you for having the courage to go out there and try, and kudos to you for being honest about it! I have a feeling that when you do find that special girl in your life, with your honesty things will progress rather nicely.
    Reine

  12. #12
    Uuuuuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhh whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Do you exclusively fantasize about men, or is it just a once-in-a-blue-moon type thing?
    Do you think you allow yourself to find men attractive?

    I don't doubt for a second you're straight, but I'm just curious since I have a theory that CDing lowers the inhibitions a bit and lets more personal things come to the fore.

  13. #13
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    yes, it's called...

    Quote Originally Posted by whowhatwhen View Post
    Do you exclusively fantasize about men, or is it just a once-in-a-blue-moon type thing?
    Do you think you allow yourself to find men attractive?

    I don't doubt for a second you're straight, but I'm just curious since I have a theory that CDing lowers the inhibitions a bit and lets more personal things come to the fore.
    the pink fog or rationalization. I'm dressed as a woman so I might just as well act like one and get laid.
    this is another one "'I'm open to a relationship with another M2F transgendered girl "
    as is this
    "Which is why I could never be with a male CD..a man who dresses in womans clothes yet lacks any well developed genuine female self that is deeply felt & immediately present"
    I do not think it is possible for any male, through the miracle of surgery or chemistry to promote a "genuine" female self. If you are socialized as a male, that is your subjective viewpoint of the world and your environment. It cannot be anything else. It is difficult enough to describe what it is to be a male (or female) and to think that one could just say abra ca dabra and BE a female is truly a fantasy. A male can only project what his IMAGINATION creates of a female persona. Since he can never look through the eyes and mind of a real woman his viewpoint is limited., as is his projection . IMHHHHHO

  14. #14
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    I can honestly say I never pay any attention to men. I work on a college campus and I do look at the young women. I think some of the things I like about being with a guy is I just want to have sex like a woman. Do what a woman does with and to a man. But like I also said since in reality I'm a man I don't want them returning the favors.

    I don't fantasize about being with a GG while I am dressed as a woman. I would like to be with a woman while dressed either as a friend or lover if she was into it. I just have not ever met one that was into a guy who CD's.

  15. #15
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whowhatwhen View Post
    I don't doubt for a second you're straight, but I'm just curious since I have a theory that CDing lowers the inhibitions a bit and lets more personal things come to the fore.
    This might have been true years ago when being gay was considered a mental illness or perverted. But, I can't imagine young people today suppressing any real male-attraction so much that they would deny themselves those feelings. Someone in their 50s or 60s maybe, but surely not someone in their 20s or 30s?
    Reine

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    I'll be the big 50 in September! Never been married, engaged once but it fell apart due to nothing sexual. I have had a good many what I call serious relationships, but never ended up marrying them. Part of the reason was I am very introverted believe it or not and didn't have any of these serious relationships until my late thirties on when most of these women had children and did not want anymore. I look a little younger than my actual age and when dolled up look nothing like my normal self.
    Last edited by toni_62; 06-30-2012 at 12:27 AM.

  17. #17
    Dressed to the Nines AmandaM's Avatar
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    Toni, I've been there. When I was 21 I went to a gay bar to "find out". We went all the way, but it wasn't deeply satisfying, more of a mechanical thing. I haven't done it since and it's been decades. I still fantasize about it though. I'm not sure the autogeni-whatever is sufficient to explain it. I don't "love myself" as a woman, or fantasize exclusively that I'm a woman. I also fantasize that I'm women I know or see, or even famous hotties, you get the picture. But everything you said, I do. I don't look at men sexually. I do look at women, constantly. I'm not attracted to men. But that certain part has its own attraction. I still don't understand it.
    alias, Dr. Girlfriend

  18. #18
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    Toniu
    When I am dressed I only want to have sex as a woman, either with a GG or a MtF CD.I don't do it for the chemistry only for the pleasure
    but I do not chase after men in my every day male life.
    Ladies and gentlemen.
    Take my advce
    Pull down your panties .......
    And slide on the ice!!!!

  19. #19
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    If you are attracted to women but like still want the unique male anatomy you could try another (non-op) trans person. There are certainly lonely trans girls out there and you probably won't have much trouble finding someone.

    As for GGs, you handle any future relationships by being 100% honest about yourself. Before you make any commitments with a GG (especially having children with them), they have the right to know the "terms" of the contract and exactly what she is getting into so she can make an informed choice (and spare some future mutual frustration and heartbreak.)
    Last edited by Vickie_CDTV; 06-30-2012 at 04:51 AM.

  20. #20
    Member LisaMallon's Avatar
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    Good advice Reine, can't add anything to it except to agree with Toni that you were correct to try things out.

    Everyone has lots of fantasies (boy and some of mine are so far out), but in the end you can only work out what really 'rocks your boat' by actually trying things out.
    If they work great, if not then you know that it is not for you and you can go and find out what does.

    Humans have pretty weird sexualities (though we like to pretend we don't) and CD/TG/TS people tend to be a bit weirder than most.

    Good on you Toni you know more about yourself, good luck in finding that 'boat rocking'

  21. #21
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    There are at least three possibilities . You may be gay but haven't fully
    Come to terms with it yet. You may be bisexual, and haven't come to terms with it.m or you may be fantasizing about male sex as a way of heightening the eroticism you associate with CDing. If its a or b, then it's likely that you would find more than one part of a man attractive and you would be attracted to other males regardless of how you are dressed.

  22. #22
    Married to SO Rufusrabbit Rebeccarabbit's Avatar
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    when I have sex with my SO I try to make her happy in a soft and gentle way, yes I am submissive, the sex is sensual. Do I fantasize about men, yes, as I am bisexual. My SO is Domme, and pansexual so I guess we are lucky and well matched. I love her dearly she is my everything and my soul mate. I don't require anything else. Whilst I may fantasize about men, I could not share my life with a man, I am not gay, and to be perfectly honest finding a good male is difficult
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    [SIZE="2"]"I am not this body. I am in this body, and this is part of my incarnation and I honor it but that isn't who I am."[/SIZE]

  23. #23
    ...don't encourage me Josie M's Avatar
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    Not only did ReineD nail it, but I actually scrolled down the comments thinking "ReineD's got this one, I'm sure of it"

    I agree, this doesn't look like a sexual attraction to men as much as an attraction to being sexual as a woman.
    Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -- Mark Twain

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  24. #24
    Discovering the Gurl Xandra's Avatar
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    What you say resonates with me. And it is really confusing.

    I feel no sexual attraction to men but that changes when dressed as a woman. Kissing a man is a turn off but that certain body part is appealing to me and subsequently what I can do with a man appeals to me. I am very much attracted to all thing feminine, which is why a man dressed as a woman appeals to me.

    I often wish it were easier but I am slowly accepting this is how I’m wired. And whether this makes me bi, gay, or something else I know not!

    Alexandra.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by toni_62 View Post
    This is confusing to me because there is a certain body part GG's don't have I found I do very much like. Like I said I'm not sure I can even consider myself bisexual because there is only one part of a man that turns me on and nothing else sexually(kiss, touch) about them does. Now being dressed and pretending to be a woman with a man is very exciting to me and I can't help to confess I liked it.
    Toni
    this fog thing can get overwhelming,lustful at times. Just don't let it overwhelm you. Enjoy the ride but remember you can always get off at the next stop.

    Thera

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