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  1. #1
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    Crossdressing and male attraction

    I'm new here and have really enjoyed it so far. I'm not sure whats proper conversation for sure so please tell me if I'm breaking a rule.

    I have not been crossdressing seriously very long, but experimented with it as a teen onward on and off. I have always been attracted to womens attire even when young, and found myself picturing myself wearing the clothing in catalogs and stores. Since at least my early twenties I have had fantasies about being with a man. The thing is these fantasies were of me dressed as a woman. I don't look at men sexually in day to day life. When I think of two men together it's a turn off. But when dressed I feel differently about it.

    So when I did start recently take up crossdressing seriously I felt I had to try to be with a guy. Some things I enjoyed and somethings I didn't. I have tried kissing the only two men I have been with and talk about a weird feeling. Absolutely nothing chemistry wise at all. Actually I found it unpleasant (icky) and it felt nothing like I feel when I kiss a GG.

    This is confusing to me because there is a certain body part GG's don't have I found I do very much like. Like I said I'm not sure I can even consider myself bisexual because there is only one part of a man that turns me on and nothing else sexually(kiss, touch) about them does. Now being dressed and pretending to be a woman with a man is very exciting to me and I can't help to confess I liked it.

    I know some crossdressers do not want to be with men at all. But how many of you are like me who feel the need to or like the idea of being with men although you are not turned on by the men per se, just some of the things you can do with one?

    Also for those who have SO's how is this topic ever delt with? I am really at a loss to see how I could ever even have a serious relationship with a GG again, much less ever marrying having a desire to be with a man when I'm dressed.

  2. #2
    Member Sandy Michaels's Avatar
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    i understand what you are saying. at first i was like that. for the most part i still am. iv'e been trying to figure those thoughts out. i accepted that i was attracted to "that" and not the person it's attached to. now i find myself attracted to the whole person. i think once you start accepting ideas you will start to understand them better.

  3. #3
    Frenchtoastowls Antoinette's Avatar
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    I'm not attracted to men in any sense. One of my recent issues being that may gay friend claims I kissed him when I was drunk. He told my girlfriend and never told me, at all. I know for a fact it didn't happen but my girlfriend believe it did. Simply because to her there's no other reason why I would crossdress unless it was to attract men. So it's still a major issue in my relationship and I think it'll end because of it.
    Finally got to making a facebook
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003854850084

    And now on instagram (got sucked into the hype). I go by frenchtoastowls. Yea you read that right!

    If you're gonna add me just give me a heads up on who you are
    please

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member Noemi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antoinette View Post
    I'm not attracted to men in any sense. One of my recent issues being that may gay friend claims I kissed him when I was drunk. He told my girlfriend and never told me, at all. I know for a fact it didn't happen but my girlfriend believe it did. Simply because to her there's no other reason why I would crossdress unless it was to attract men. So it's still a major issue in my relationship and I think it'll end because of it.
    Double Drat.
    Not a good friend, I know gay people that have similar hang ups and I avoid.
    She should have some faith in you. Go buy her some thing immediately....she will like you again, if you want her around.
    "An unexpected gift is the key that unlocks a woman's heart."


    Noemi
    Last edited by Noemi; 06-29-2012 at 11:17 PM. Reason: sp
    polythene pam

  5. #5
    Member Leila Be's Avatar
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    Hi Toni, Thanks for the post and can I say: I 100% absolutely identify with your predicament. It's difficult to place onesself in any category. I know I'm totally turned on by the idea of intimacy with a man while en femme, namely for that unmentionable appendage, and yet have no physical attraction to men in any other sense. Sounds like we both should find friends in a crossdresser and try to carry on with GGs. All the Best, Leila.
    Everyone should feel overwhelmingly sexy now-and-then.

  6. #6
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Got porn? Would these fantasies occur without it? Just another thing to consider since you're not attracted to men in real life. Or did you ever have these fantasies when you were an adolescent (before porn became overly accessible)? I have similar fantasies BTW, but I'm reluctant to make them reality.

    As far as 'flipping a switch' goes, electrical currents aren't always on/off. Resistance is variable.

  7. #7
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    I dunno...
    Porn isn't a good measure of anything IMO.

    For example, I exclusively fantasize about guys but cannot get into gay porn.
    Confusing enough as it is, I'd love to call myself straight but I just don't think of women sexually either.

  8. #8
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    I myself am not really attracted to men. I accept I can be attracted to men that look like women. I am physically attracted to the female form. If the guy has a female form other parts don't seem to bother me. But I have not actually been in that type of situation so I can only speculate how my body will act in that moment.

  9. #9
    seductively seductive Cassandra86's Avatar
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    Heres where im at on the subject. I consider myself bisexual . Let me try to explain without giving to much details. Im not necessarly attracted to men, do i think some men are good looking sure but i dont want to date or kiss one. But i do like having sex with one well im in cd form and being submissive when we have sex. Now the weird thing is the guy has to be straight so to say not gay. I also have the best of both worlds cus my spouse finds it a sexual turn on when im dressed up! She also likes being the dominant one. Now when in male form no guys for me but i do like transgender females. I find them really attractive i think because a lot of times they are more femine and take extra time to look beautiful then a lot of ggs. Again just my opinion
    Imperfection is beauty, madness is genuine and its better to be absolutely ridiculous then absolutely boring...Marilyn Monroe

  10. #10
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    I myself would never be with a man;
    That said, you have to find what you like and try it out.
    If being with a man, means icky kissing, then maybe you should stick with girls.
    Most cross dressers are hetero-sexual, they like girls only. and like myself, like to wear their clothes.
    I guess that is what some of us are all about, yet some only want to be with a man.
    This is a choicest only you can make.
    Rader

  11. #11
    ~ M2F Lezzie ~ Annaliese2010's Avatar
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    I have NO desire to be with a man. In fact I have no desire to relate in any way with males on any level. I get attention from men sometimes but completely ignore it..it's as if they don't even exist or are so off my radar as to be 'invisible'. I'm crazy about GG's I meet for whom I feel an attraction or some chemistry and prefer relationships with them. I can relate to them from the standpoint of my male self - but - the best is when a GG likes both my male self and at times get turned on being with my female self. Though I could handle a GG relationship where she mostly wants to interact with me as a girl.

    I'm open to a relationship with another M2F transgendered girl but only if I feel a strong natural attraction to her and only if she is truly transgendered...meaning, if she is really truly thinking experiencing behaving & feeling immersed in her feminine self. Thats not being gay, that's two girls being together. It's really more accurately a form of lesbianism not male on male.

    Which is why I could never be with a male CD..a man who dresses in womans clothes yet lacks any well developed genuine female self that is deeply felt & immediately present and moment to moment expressive. But if there is no real self identification with a nascent inner female self, or where his female side is shallow, not well developed and not predominant, that individual is not transgendered but a male CD...not a girl. There IS a difference.

  12. #12
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    whowhatwhen, no it's a huge pain to find someone, then work out the details. I was on a certain site for awhile and I got lots of offers and only acted on three of them. So not about a quickie at least for me. I have come to believe it's as much about interacting with someone while dressed, and being wanted while dressed as anything.

    Sophie_C thats a legit point, but I have never felt grossed out that much kissing any woman. I've kissed a few I didn't feel that special feeling with, but never thought gross I don't like this.

  13. #13
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Oh, I didn't mean you specifically.


    You've tried it and it's obvious you're straight since you didn't feel any emotional connection to the same sex.

  14. #14
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toni_62 View Post
    I have come to believe it's as much about interacting with someone while dressed, and being wanted while dressed as anything.
    Yup, judging by the scads of similar sentiment I've read here over they years, this seems to be the consensus. But the problem lies in finding a man who isn't after a CD for his penis. Men who seek out CDers over GGs and who would "go there" with these CDers, are (generally) doing so specifically because they want the man parts too. The TS section is filled with stories about being dropped like a hot potato the minute she has SRS.
    Reine

  15. #15
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    On the porn I've never been a big fan of really any kind of porn although I have my favorites that involve what GGs do. I never look at naked male models at all. When at the gym I do notice guys, but its I wish I was that cut up type of thing. Not he's so hot LOL! Thanks for the comments, especially yours Reine! Very helpful , thank you.
    Last edited by ReineD; 07-01-2012 at 10:45 PM. Reason: TMI. Please read our rules.

  16. #16
    Always be happy Mistybtm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toni_62 View Post
    So when I did start recently take up crossdressing seriously I felt I had to try to be with a guy. Some things I enjoyed and somethings I didn't. I have tried kissing the only two men I have been with and talk about a weird feeling. Absolutely nothing chemistry wise at all. Actually I found it unpleasant (icky) and it felt nothing like I feel when I kiss a GG.

    This is confusing to me because there is a certain body part GG's don't have I found I do very much like. Like I said I'm not sure I can even consider myself bisexual because there is only one part of a man that turns me on and nothing else sexually(kiss, touch) about them does. Now being dressed and pretending to be a woman with a man is very exciting to me and I can't help to confess I liked it.

    But how many of you are like me who feel the need to or like the idea of being with men although you are not turned on by the men per se, just some of the things you can do with one? .
    I feel the same way as you do I love being with a man sexualy but that is where it ends.
    Mistybtm

  17. #17
    Silver Member paulaprimo's Avatar
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    hi toni,
    no rule broken here. this subject pops up over and over again.
    you are not alone in the way you feel. stats say most cd'ers are "straight", but there are many bi-cd'ers here also.
    and make no mistake, male with male sex, makes you at least bi, even when dressed. but like you, in my day to day life, i enjoy chasing the women and not
    at all interested in men. BUT, when dressed, i am only interested in men and not women. i am divorced, so i do have the freedom of choice.
    paula

  18. #18
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toni_62 View Post
    Also for those who have SO's how is this topic ever delt with? I am really at a loss to see how I could ever even have a serious relationship with a GG again, much less ever marrying having a desire to be with a man when I'm dressed.
    You need to come to terms with the fact that you are not bi. You are not attracted to men, not even when you are dressed. I say this based on your following words:

    Quote Originally Posted by toni_62 View Post
    I don't look at men sexually in day to day life. When I think of two men together it's a turn off. But when dressed I feel differently about it.
    Quote Originally Posted by toni_62 View Post
    I have tried kissing the only two men I have been with and talk about a weird feeling. Absolutely nothing chemistry wise at all. Actually I found it unpleasant (icky) and it felt nothing like I feel when I kiss a GG.
    But, you do enjoy feeling feminine, and what better way to enhance your femininity than to be the recipent (while imagining that you have a vagina) of the body part that a that a man has and a woman doesn't:

    Quote Originally Posted by toni_62 View Post
    This is confusing to me because there is a certain body part GG's don't have I found I do very much like. Like I said I'm not sure I can even consider myself bisexual because there is only one part of a man that turns me on and nothing else sexually(kiss, touch) about them does. Now being dressed and pretending to be a woman with a man is very exciting to me and I can't help to confess I liked it.
    The term for this is "autogynephilia": the love of oneself as a woman. Some CDers prefer to engage in the fantasies solo, while others seek men (only for that one body part). If you do not find men attractive and you feel no chemistry, then you are not attracted to them.

    The best solution would be to get into a relationship with a woman who sees and loves all your gender facets. If you can give yourself permission to feel feminine with her and if the two of you can be creative in bed, then all your dreams will be fulfilled.
    Reine

  19. #19
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    ReineD I think you pretty much hit the nail on the head. I have a hard time considering myself bi because I am also completely turned off by a guy wanting to return the favor for me, or them wanting me to use mine on them. Which makes sexual encounters awkward to say the least, and a major reason I have not sought out more of them.

  20. #20
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Toni, at least you've gone out there and tried it, so now you know what fits and what doesn't.

    I can't tell you how many people stay stuck in the fantasy, without ever actually determining for themselves what works and what doesn't. And this can wreak havoc when they try to get into relationships with GGs, or when they are in relationships but stop enjoying sex with them because they're stuck in a fantasy.

    Good on you for having the courage to go out there and try, and kudos to you for being honest about it! I have a feeling that when you do find that special girl in your life, with your honesty things will progress rather nicely.
    Reine

  21. #21
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Do you exclusively fantasize about men, or is it just a once-in-a-blue-moon type thing?
    Do you think you allow yourself to find men attractive?

    I don't doubt for a second you're straight, but I'm just curious since I have a theory that CDing lowers the inhibitions a bit and lets more personal things come to the fore.

  22. #22
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    yes, it's called...

    Quote Originally Posted by whowhatwhen View Post
    Do you exclusively fantasize about men, or is it just a once-in-a-blue-moon type thing?
    Do you think you allow yourself to find men attractive?

    I don't doubt for a second you're straight, but I'm just curious since I have a theory that CDing lowers the inhibitions a bit and lets more personal things come to the fore.
    the pink fog or rationalization. I'm dressed as a woman so I might just as well act like one and get laid.
    this is another one "'I'm open to a relationship with another M2F transgendered girl "
    as is this
    "Which is why I could never be with a male CD..a man who dresses in womans clothes yet lacks any well developed genuine female self that is deeply felt & immediately present"
    I do not think it is possible for any male, through the miracle of surgery or chemistry to promote a "genuine" female self. If you are socialized as a male, that is your subjective viewpoint of the world and your environment. It cannot be anything else. It is difficult enough to describe what it is to be a male (or female) and to think that one could just say abra ca dabra and BE a female is truly a fantasy. A male can only project what his IMAGINATION creates of a female persona. Since he can never look through the eyes and mind of a real woman his viewpoint is limited., as is his projection . IMHHHHHO

  23. #23
    . Aprilrain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by busker View Post
    the pink fog or rationalization. I'm dressed as a woman so I might just as well act like one and get laid.
    this is another one "'I'm open to a relationship with another M2F transgendered girl "
    as is this
    "Which is why I could never be with a male CD..a man who dresses in womans clothes yet lacks any well developed genuine female self that is deeply felt & immediately present"
    I do not think it is possible for any male, through the miracle of surgery or chemistry to promote a "genuine" female self. If you are socialized as a male, that is your subjective viewpoint of the world and your environment. It cannot be anything else. It is difficult enough to describe what it is to be a male (or female) and to think that one could just say abra ca dabra and BE a female is truly a fantasy. A male can only project what his IMAGINATION creates of a female persona. Since he can never look through the eyes and mind of a real woman his viewpoint is limited., as is his projection . IMHHHHHO
    speak for yourself buster! and what the $%^& are you wearing anyway!!!

  24. #24
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whowhatwhen View Post
    I don't doubt for a second you're straight, but I'm just curious since I have a theory that CDing lowers the inhibitions a bit and lets more personal things come to the fore.
    This might have been true years ago when being gay was considered a mental illness or perverted. But, I can't imagine young people today suppressing any real male-attraction so much that they would deny themselves those feelings. Someone in their 50s or 60s maybe, but surely not someone in their 20s or 30s?
    Reine

  25. #25
    Silver Member AmandaM's Avatar
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    Toni, I've been there. When I was 21 I went to a gay bar to "find out". We went all the way, but it wasn't deeply satisfying, more of a mechanical thing. I haven't done it since and it's been decades. I still fantasize about it though. I'm not sure the autogeni-whatever is sufficient to explain it. I don't "love myself" as a woman, or fantasize exclusively that I'm a woman. I also fantasize that I'm women I know or see, or even famous hotties, you get the picture. But everything you said, I do. I don't look at men sexually. I do look at women, constantly. I'm not attracted to men. But that certain part has its own attraction. I still don't understand it.

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