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Thread: Crossdressing and male attraction

  1. #51
    Silver Member AmandaM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    You're a poster child for this forum!
    Seriously, this seems to be common as well, and it can last more than just a few months for some people. If CDers feel constrained with the CDing due to either internal or external barriers (a degree of internailized transphobia or being in relationships with non-accepting partners), they'll be stuck at the very frustrating place of not being able to dress to get in touch with their deeper feelings, not being able to experience what it's really like to present as a woman in public, and all the fantasies will take on epic proportions.
    Reine, you need to become a gender therapist. You can see right through any issue more than anyone here.

  2. #52
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    If I were younger and had the time and resources to get the degree, this is most definitely something that I'd consider.
    Reine

  3. #53
    Member Leila Be's Avatar
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    Hi Toni, Thanks for the post and can I say: I 100% absolutely identify with your predicament. It's difficult to place onesself in any category. I know I'm totally turned on by the idea of intimacy with a man while en femme, namely for that unmentionable appendage, and yet have no physical attraction to men in any other sense. Sounds like we both should find friends in a crossdresser and try to carry on with GGs. All the Best, Leila.
    Everyone should feel overwhelmingly sexy now-and-then.

  4. #54
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Got porn? Would these fantasies occur without it? Just another thing to consider since you're not attracted to men in real life. Or did you ever have these fantasies when you were an adolescent (before porn became overly accessible)? I have similar fantasies BTW, but I'm reluctant to make them reality.

    As far as 'flipping a switch' goes, electrical currents aren't always on/off. Resistance is variable.

  5. #55
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    I dunno...
    Porn isn't a good measure of anything IMO.

    For example, I exclusively fantasize about guys but cannot get into gay porn.
    Confusing enough as it is, I'd love to call myself straight but I just don't think of women sexually either.

  6. #56
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    I kind feel the same way. when I dress as a women I think i like to be with a man. mabey just a fantasy

  7. #57
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Whowhatwhen, you're going to have to stop thinking about it and get out there to experiment! Develop relationships with both GGs and guys and see where they lead you.
    Reine

  8. #58
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Whowhatwhen, you're going to have to stop thinking about it and get out there to experiment! Develop relationships with both GGs and guys and see where they lead you.
    All when I'm ready...


    It's just a very interesting topic to me, but I'm not desperate either.

  9. #59
    Member Sandy Michaels's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whowhatwhen View Post
    I dunno...
    Porn isn't a good measure of anything IMO.

    For example, I exclusively fantasize about guys but cannot get into gay porn.
    Confusing enough as it is, I'd love to call myself straight but I just don't think of women sexually either.
    i enjoy the company of men as much as women. depending on the day one more than the other. i also have a hard time getting into gay porn. i think it's because of the quality that its made with. i do enjoy watching the men in straight porn. or looking up "playgirl" type of pictures. maybe it's because i enjoy being fem while being with a man, and i'm picturing myself as the starlet in a vid. i do have "toys" to help me out when i can't find a suitable partner. maybe some solo experimenting could help you figure out stuff safely at home.

  10. #60
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandy Michaels View Post
    or looking up "playgirl" type of pictures.
    Now that I do like...


    The other thing, well... Not physically possible at the moment and there is a good chance it never will be.
    Though we're drifting off topic here.

    From what I can see though, being gay or bi extends to male mode as well so if you're not looking at naked dudes in drab then you're likely not gay or bi.

    If you're still confused therapy could help, but there is no need to rush through anything.
    <---- Take with a single grain of salt

  11. #61
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    On the porn I've never been a big fan of really any kind of porn although I have my favorites that involve what GGs do. I never look at naked male models at all. When at the gym I do notice guys, but its I wish I was that cut up type of thing. Not he's so hot LOL! Thanks for the comments, especially yours Reine! Very helpful , thank you.
    Last edited by ReineD; 07-01-2012 at 10:45 PM. Reason: TMI. Please read our rules.

  12. #62
    Member bridgetta's Avatar
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    Reine. Very helpful! Thank you. I feel the same as toni. Toni. I understand.

  13. #63
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Whowhatwhen, you're going to have to stop thinking about it and get out there to experiment! Develop relationships with both GGs and guys and see where they lead you.
    Sorry for bumping this, but I have to thank the posters of this thread.
    It made me curious so I looked, and yup, definitely attracted to guys and not just the penis itself.

    A milestone for sure, and while it doesn't answer everything it certainly makes a big difference and a big leap towards self-acceptance.
    It comes down now to gay or bi, but straight is 100% definitely off the table.

    A big thanks to the undoubtedly nsfw (but not pornographic) thread titled "PYF D**ks" thread on the SA forums.


    I would recommend anyone confused similar to the OP to try looking at non pornographic pictures of guys.
    You'll know pretty quick if it's the male body turning you on, or just his penis.

  14. #64
    Member Sandy Michaels's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whowhatwhen View Post
    Sorry for bumping this, but I have to thank the posters of this thread.
    It made me curious so I looked, and yup, definitely attracted to guys and not just the penis itself.

    A milestone for sure, and while it doesn't answer everything it certainly makes a big difference and a big leap towards self-acceptance.
    It comes down now to gay or bi, but straight is 100% definitely off the table.

    A big thanks to the undoubtedly nsfw (but not pornographic) thread titled "PYF D**ks" thread on the SA forums.


    I would recommend anyone confused similar to the OP to try looking at non pornographic pictures of guys.
    You'll know pretty quick if it's the male body turning you on, or just his penis.
    i went through the same thing. up until recently males were just a penis to me. now i find men just as attractive as females on all the same levels. it's been fun coming to understand those feelings. not with out head aches but definitely proud of my Bisexuality.

  15. #65
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Toni, Your post could have been written by me. Same here. I am not really attracted to men, but, when all dolled up, feel like being with a gentleman, and being a lady. I met only one guy, and it was ok, but, he did not enjoy the meeting. No kissing, no penetration. I think he was wanting more.

  16. #66
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    Hi Toni,
    first i want to say I'm glad you are allowing yourself to explore and figure out who you really are !!!
    I am a GG who is involved with a wonderful person who is a CD.
    Maybe this can give you some perspective from the other side of the fence......When I am with my SO and he is in Femme... he likes to be the Woman (recipient) so I donne my my "Male" personna and be the man with a little help (if you know what I mean w/o being too graphic) I love being and expressing the Male part of me. I guess I can say I am a CD too....When my SO is in male personna he is the mam and I function as a woman. I guess we both have a "duality" to both of us.

    When he is in Femme I think he is the most beautiful thing (woman) in the world...when he is a man he is the most handsome , wonderful man in the world. I find womans breasts beautiful but i don't think I could ever be w a woman sexually. so even "straight people have some confusion about this issue too. We are all along the spectrum ...not black and white ....very many shades of grey.

    Just Love yourself and take your time to figure it all out.

    Just know that there are others that have been what you have been thru ....from both sides of the fence persay that can empathize w you .

    i hope this gave you some food for thought and some comfort that we are all trying to figure it all out -----

    Hugs for you !!!! big smiles tooo!!!!

    For some of us it is more complicated....
    Last edited by Lady Panda; 07-04-2012 at 07:00 AM. Reason: wanted to add more

  17. #67
    Girliegirl Jillian Faith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by julia marie View Post
    Of course, what I find funny is that when I'm out as a guy and I see a pretty woman I'm torn between wanting to be her, or to be with her.
    OMG.....Do I know that feeling!

    Quote Originally Posted by danam View Post
    ...And, like you, the thought continually crosses my mind--am I "bi" now? Now that I fantasize of being dressed as a woman and being totally with a man? Because I must admit, my fantasies (never explored in real life, mind you) are definitely quite bi.

    But in real life, in day-to-day interactions, I have no attraction to men whatsoever. I'm always checking out the GGs. Darn its complicated!!!!
    Another sister's perspective that I totally identify with.
    Last edited by ReineD; 07-04-2012 at 04:08 PM. Reason: Merging. Please use the Multiquote buttons "+ at the bottom of each post for multiquoting.

  18. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by toni_62 View Post
    I'm new here and have really enjoyed it so far. I'm not sure whats proper conversation for sure so please tell me if I'm breaking a rule.

    I have not been crossdressing seriously very long, but experimented with it as a teen onward on and off. I have always been attracted to womens attire even when young, and found myself picturing myself wearing the clothing in catalogs and stores. Since at least my early twenties I have had fantasies about being with a man. The thing is these fantasies were of me dressed as a woman. I don't look at men sexually in day to day life. When I think of two men together it's a turn off. But when dressed I feel differently about it.

    So when I did start recently take up crossdressing seriously I felt I had to try to be with a guy. Some things I enjoyed and somethings I didn't. I have tried kissing the only two men I have been with and talk about a weird feeling. Absolutely nothing chemistry wise at all. Actually I found it unpleasant (icky) and it felt nothing like I feel when I kiss a GG.

    This is confusing to me because there is a certain body part GG's don't have I found I do very much like. Like I said I'm not sure I can even consider myself bisexual because there is only one part of a man that turns me on and nothing else sexually(kiss, touch) about them does. Now being dressed and pretending to be a woman with a man is very exciting to me and I can't help to confess I liked it.

    I know some crossdressers do not want to be with men at all. But how many of you are like me who feel the need to or like the idea of being with men although you are not turned on by the men per se, just some of the things you can do with one?

    Also for those who have SO's how is this topic ever delt with? I am really at a loss to see how I could ever even have a serious relationship with a GG again, much less ever marrying having a desire to be with a man when I'm dressed.
    Nothing wrong with that. Thats pretty natural actually. Its all a gradual transition. First you fantasize about men, then you enjoy making love with men, then you eventually fall in love with men. Its only genetic girls who will deny this idea and come up with theories to cover up insecurities. The possibility that their man likes other men is VERY threatening.

    But I agree with Reine there is no problem if CD just want to use men physically to feel like a woman. Its a win win for both the man and CD. And like others have mentioned. The first man you meet will not always be your prince. Take your time and the right man will come into your life CDs. He will love you unconditionally just like he would a genetic girl.
    Last edited by seanmuscle; 07-04-2012 at 10:42 AM.

  19. #69
    Member laura.lapinski's Avatar
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    Toni_62. I feel the same as you, although I've never experimented yet. Lady Panda, that is awsome you and your husband can be that way with each other.

  20. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by laura.lapinski View Post
    Toni_62. I feel the same as you, although I've never experimented yet. Lady Panda, that is awsome you and your husband can be that way with each other.
    Thank you soo much ....I wish other women could be totally accepting. I think they have to realize that it is not about them but it IS about their SO and what they feel and who they are. What is inside them from birth.

  21. #71
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by seanmuscle View Post
    Its only genetic girls who will deny this idea and come up with theories to cover up insecurities. The possibility that their man likes other men is VERY threatening.
    Here we go again.

    And nonsense. As a GG, I would much prefer my SO to have explored all of this and actually determined whether the fantasy of sex with someone who has a penis is a real attraction to men, or merely something that emphasizes internal feelings of femininity. If it is a desire to feel feminine in bed, then this is something that we can easily deal with. I would absolutely hate being with someone who hadn't determined if they are truly bi or not, and who therefore spent their time fantasizing being with men. I think it's important for any female-attracted CDer who is in a relationship with a GG, to know whether the actual experience of being a male-bodied man having sex with another male-bodied man is a turn-off or not.

    Quote Originally Posted by seanmuscle View Post
    But I agree with Reine there is no problem if CD just want to use men physically to feel like a woman.
    Totally. The CD should explore. But honestly, if he does and he discovers that sex with a guy grosses him out, it's unlikely he'll want to repeat the experience? To continue doing this seems silly. Or if his imagination and fantasy is strong enough to move beyond the distaste of having sex with a man and he manages to disembody his partner and sees him as a penis only, frankly I wouldn't want to be this admirer. lol. I'd like to know I'm more than a body part when I have sex with someone. But, maybe I'm looking at it from a woman's point of view who sees sex as a more holistic (all encompassing) thing. Truthfully, it is the all-encompassing nature of sex that makes it a mind blowing experience for me.

    However, if the CDer is not grossed out then he really is gay or bi and he can carry on having relationships with men and enjoy them.

    Quote Originally Posted by seanmuscle View Post
    He will love you unconditionally just like he would a genetic girl.
    Well, not really. Although you (Seanmuscle) may be the exception and you date women no matter their chromosomes and body parts, admirers (or tranny chasers) specifically seek transwomen over GGs. I'm assuming an important difference is the presence of a penis, and judging by the stories I read in this forum and elsewhere from those who have experienced this, the transwomen are dropped as soon as they've had SRS. This is NOT loving them as any genetic girl.
    Reine

  22. #72
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by seanmuscle View Post
    He will love you unconditionally just like he would a genetic girl.
    A crossdresser isn't going to be spending all of her time in female mode, would you still love her in male mode?
    Still be attracted to her male features and form? Still want to be seen in public as a gay couple?

    Let's also not forget that a crossdresser who identifies as a man may still have a working penis and may actually want to use it...
    Would you take care of those needs? In male mode as well?

  23. #73
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whowhatwhen View Post
    Let's also not forget that a crossdresser who identifies as a man may still have a working penis and may actually want to use it...
    Would you take care of those needs? In male mode as well?
    I rather think this is precisely what admirers want.

    Don't know about mail mode though. Mileage varies.
    Reine

  24. #74
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Don't know about mail mode though. Mileage varies.
    It never comes on a Sunday?

    Edit:
    It appears that in my haste to make a HILARIOUS pun, (because I'm 8 you see), I seem to have made no sense.
    Last edited by whowhatwhen; 07-04-2012 at 05:53 PM.

  25. #75
    Member Sandy Michaels's Avatar
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    when it comes to relationships i look for a good connection with a person. don't really care if they're male, female, crossdresser, whatever. its more important to me to have that bond. unless it's a quickie then i go for what ever i'm in the mood for.

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