[SIZE="2"]I was wondering if any of us have ever purged this site, good old crossdressers.com, in an effort to get away from the crossdressing “community?” I mean purge the site, skip the discussions, abandon your friends, remove the avatars and profile images, and slip away, yet continue to crossdress – no purging of clothing, makeup, wigs, or accessories, JUST this site...
I’ve done it (so far) four times, I think. No grand pronouncements like “I’m LEAVING!” no tearful goodbyes like “You won’t have Freddy to kick around any more...” and no hidden hints within PM’s like “I’ll be away for a while...” but I have left at least four times. When I return I simply do a little posting as if nothing has happened, because, in the great scheme of things, nothing HAS happened, has it? Consequently, there will be no “I’M BACK!” re-introductions, or posts that begin, “I couldn’t keep away after all...” but it’s easy to re-insert oneself if nobody knows you’re gone in the first place...
I recently left for two weeks. Two weeks, no posting. I would check in from time to time as a lurker, but I didn’t participate in any way. As time went on I drifted away more and more. Not one post. Not even an idea for a thread. Nothing. My laptop sat in the dark, wondering if I was OK. I would mention this willful withdrawal in my diary: “Nothing done @ CD.com today,” I would write, and I was increasingly happy about that. Finally, one fine HOT day, I took this site off of my favorites list, along with its position at the top of my “most visited sites” drop-down list. Of course, it only takes a second to re-type crossdressers.com in the little box at the top of my browser, but the removal itself was significant – am I going to stay away this time?
I woke up the next day and, as a “Why not?” afterthought, took a quick look at the site. One of my friends had just returned from her own time in the wilderness, and her reassuring words started the machinery going in my head. After a day of thinking I had a new thread to write and submit, which I did, and at present I’m slowly getting up to speed in terms of posting and/or writing about crossdressing. I’m still a bit rusty, or tender, depending how you look at it. I don’t know why this happens, but sometimes I leave, and I’m conscious of the fact that I’m leaving. Most likely I will be returning, for we can’t actually leave, so I just let things run their natural course and not dwell on it...
Nothing specific triggers these unplanned retreats, except maybe a need to get away from time to time. I do just as much crossdressing when I’m NOT here, perhaps more; in fact I revert to that blessed state before CD discussion forums like this one came along. Back then, every adventure was a secret pleasure, whereas nowadays every crossdressing foray into the RW is a potential story, perhaps a nudge in the form of support for someone. However, being here and NOT being here are the same space, or the same thing. Sometimes silence can be deafening. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – a kind word goes a long way, and I appreciate all the kind words I have received here. I think that’s what brings me back from the void – feelings of obligation or guilt...
So, have you ever purged this site, out of sight, out of mind, and off of your device of choice? [/SIZE]