I usually only post to a thread if I think I may be able to help in some small way.
Most posts I do not reply to because I have nothing to add.
I find it hard to post a deeply personal type of thread because those tend to be really painful and I would rather not dredge up the memory.
The main reason I am here is to learn from others.
I do like to read deep insightful threads like this tho'.
Last edited by Tracii G; 07-15-2012 at 01:29 PM.
I think .... if you have something to post and its helpful then yes by all means post ... even if its constructive critizism ... everyone has a different views..but i have always thought ... be pro-active in advice ...not re-active .... okies xxxx
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]To wake up and see SweetNikki i love by my side happy is very special and important to me xxxxx
In life ... we dont lose friends .... we discover who our real friends really are ....
Cariad a Cwtches xxxxx
Love everyone equally and tolerate all xxxxx
@WelshbirdBillie on Twitter
hmmmm,,why do I post..well...I enjoy all the friends I have made here,,and I like the back and forth banter,the great pictures..and I`ll throw in my 2 cents now and then
"it all unfolds before your eyes ,let Merlin cast his spell" [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
It's a very small pond Vicky!
Ha I know the thread as well as the offending post and I have to say I actually burst out laughing when I read it. Several brilliant (if I may say so) smart-ass comments immediately sprung to mind, but my affection for the OP prevented me from derailing her nice well intended thread.
I thought it was a perfect example of how the modern internet forum experience is much worse than it used to be back in the Newsreader days. There is a divide among us other than TG issues. It's the same divide that has existed on forums since a short time after they moved to the web; some enjoy the medium and some don't. There are some of us who thrive in the written word and find joy in the turn of a phrase, and there are the others who don't take any pleasure in writing at all. Obviously it doesn't really matter in the real world but in a medium like this, there is a natural separation between the writers and the readers. The readers can't fathom why somebody would "waste" so much time writing so much, and the writers are struggling to keep the posts from being too long already. Regardless of someone's ideology or opinion, I automatically respect them more when they write well.
Back in the day it was easy to form a community on the boards, we just avoided anyone with a .aol email address. ;-)
Posting replies OR questions to this or any other Forum allows other people the OPPORTUNITY to learn more about themselves and others provided they come to the Forum with an OPEN mind. We all have our various strengths or weaknesses. Sharing what we have learned just might help others.
I think Forum dinosaurs can easily fall into the trap of forgetting that NO question is old to the new people who come to the Forums daily. THE people the Forums are most likely to help. Also, there will always be people at any Forum overly concerned with WHO posted what. Any question or answer should be viewed on it's own merits and validity and not the person who posted it.
Disgruntled or disrespectful responders are simply best ignored IMO. Or "dealt with" privately if so inclined. Just like in the RW, there will always be some individuals who have "personality clashes" for some reason or another, possibly even imagined.
I also don't think it is good to hold back anything here based on how some individuals MIGHT interpret it. No way to know that for every 2 responders who go ballistic over something, that there might be 10 lurkers giving a standing ovation. No matter how carefully we try to convey any subject matter with nothing more than symbols arranged in a certain sequence on paper or a computer monitor, we have ZERO control over how carefully people will read or interpret them.
Last edited by Wildaboutheels; 07-15-2012 at 04:07 PM.
Oh Yes! And it will get worse, as text language pervades emails we will see a reduction in the strength and richness of the written word... well I hope not, but then I am by nature an optimist!Originally Posted by Badtranny
Kaz xx
__________________________________________________ ____________
This Woman Within is Flying without Wings
So . . umm . . . how long did it take you to write all of this?[SIZE="2"]“Was it something I said?” (title of a song by OMD)
When you think of it, this must be the most difficult type of discussion forum around. I mean, here we are, representatives of nearly every variation of crossdressing, thrown together to allegedly “talk” about our mutual compulsion, lifestyle, approach to alternative existence, or what have you. Is it possible to do so? What on Earth can you have in common with me, except perhaps the type of clothing, underwear, makeup or wigs that define who we are? Beyond such obvious similarities, is genuine discussion in the cards for such a wide-ranging community?
It’s difficult for me to post anything relevant to YOUR personal issues, mainly because I don’t really know you, and I can’t get sufficiently close to you. In these curious circumstances, words are very important, and, if you seek help from other members, perhaps dealing with a sticky CD issue, you may need MANY words to describe the situation. Posting a thread on this site is like getting up before everyone and pleading one’s case, either for answers, or understanding, or perhaps you’re just making a declaration of some sort. Of course, some threads are lighthearted, but many more are very serious and deserve serious attention...
Speaking of attention, I recently read a well-reasoned thread of serious length, written by a friend of mine. This is the type of thread (or post) where someone is describing the ongoing struggle to deal with transgendered issues. This is serious stuff, and it will either strike a chord with other individuals who are engaged in their own struggle, or it will be too difficult to penetrate, let alone respond to with any semblance of understanding. Like I said, words are important, and it takes time and effort to express one’s thoughts in such highly emotional language. It’s more like, “I just gotta SAY this...” rather than, “Can you help me?” Nothing’s better left unsaid, so they say...
The abovementioned thread was, as I said, lengthy and full of emotion. However, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when another member felt it necessary to quote the entire thing and then write “How long did it take you to write all this?” To quote Daffy Duck: “Thanks for the sour persimmons, cousin!” How long did it take for YOU to respond so inadequately? A minute? Less? I just shake my head, and I’m left with the title of this particular thread: I don’t know - why post ANYTHING? Why bother pouring out your heart if few people care? Obviously, several people do (or did) care, but I’m continually amazed at these insensitive replies to very serious issues...
I should explain that I’m not seeking help from the membership – I’m comfortable and “settled” within my little CD/TV sphere, or whatever descriptive term is trending this week. That being said, I expect callous replies to my threads or posts from time to time, but I’m largely dealing with peripheral issues and not my own lifelong battle with gender specificity. It would be wrong for me to comment on one’s spousal or familial relationships, so I stay out of it. Also, I’m not GOING anywhere, riding my crossdressing towards a pre-determined destination, so I can’t insert a comment into your emotional harangue. I DO wear women’s clothing for pleasure, so I can reinforce your joy of crossdressing in some small way, but only if I use the right words...
I guess what I’m trying to say is that crossdressing is a difficult subject for discussion, and few will agree with YOUR “take” on something so personal. We all came to this point via different routes, emerging at different rates into the sunshine we hoped to find. I used to be very naïve – I thought all crossdressers would LOVE what they do, and they would express their euphoria in words. How silly of me. It’s a colossal struggle for some, 24/7, and I must seem like a pink cupcake by comparison. Still, I feel the need to write about something so precious, for doing so verifies my existence in some way. There’s nowhere else to go, truth be told, but have you ever considered just how long some of these wordy expressions have waited for a platform, or an audience, or a blank space to fill with one’s innermost yearnings?
I started to write a couple of threads during the past week, but I abandoned them after I saw the abovementioned “How long did it take you to write this?” post. It took a LIFETIME to write it, my friend, my fellow crossdresser, or my fellow transgendered individual – how about responding in kind, with sincerity and gentleness? Is that too much to ask for? The author may not require a response at all, but a pat on the back or a squeeze of the hand, via a “Good post...” reply goes a long way. Some of us are trying to feel better about what we do, even though we may not fully understand the whys and wherefores of MtF crossdressing – we’re in the wilderness, somewhere out in No Man’s Land, and a beacon of hope (or, dare I say...love) would be very reassuring...
Have you ever wondered if it’s worth posting anything at all? Lurking may be a better choice at times...
PS – I apologize for the “tone” of this thread, but I haven’t been feeling well lately. I’ll be better soon, I promise. I’m writing this as a form of physiological therapy...
PPS - I see that the post I referred to has been summarily removed, so that's good... [/SIZE]
ROFL - I'm sorry, but I just HAD to go for the laugh / low hanging fruit!
You are of course pretty much dead right about every comment you made - we do not all have the same story, the same concerns, the same life. The thing is, this is WHY we talk to each other and have conversations - so that we can learn about each other and get to know each other. I think that in some ways the very purpose of having discussions in a place like this is to alleviate that very condition - to let us each get to know one another.
I have also encountered the very thing that you describe. I've devoted hours to writing about formative events or moments in my life, and instead of focusing on the content, I received comments about it's length. It's almost as if I have broken some unwritten rule regarding the maximum length of a post. Still, this IS the internet, and there is zero doubt that if you spend time here, you are going to run into people that annoy you, and you are going to run into people that are not reasonable. It's part of the package . . .
I missed the part where you mentioned the length of a post Freddy. I have a short attention span.
I sometimes tease Anne about writing novels for me and I hate scrolling to read it but she gets it! Friendship allows for some fun.
I have carpal tunnel so most of my posts will be short and to the point. I type about..um one word per minute with 2 fingers.
It's always worth posting, no one will always agree with you and IMO that's a good thing sometimes.
I've been "called out" a few times by people here and I honestly respect them for it, we're not always going to agree so I won't stop posting because of it.
Here is a place to pour our souls, don't tell me you're going to stop posting because people have the potential to be mean?
It's very relaxing, for me, to post my smart alec remarks, some of mine might even be interesting.
Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years.Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady
My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty
I'm Always Rainbow Proud
the answer to your question is.. that it helps people to think about themselves by reading your point of view..
[SIZE="2"]BTW, this is not about my lengthy thread OP’s – I assume many people will balk at the effort required to read the whole thing from top-to-bottom. My things are more like essays, and not heartfelt declarations of intent, or pleas for understanding, so you can safely take them or leave them. I’m glad Anne is back among us, since her threads often make mine look short by comparison!
[SIZE="2"]Believe it or not, it took about half an hour start-to-finish. I had a brief productive period in the middle of the night, so I did a little writing. That particular response to that particular thread was on my mind for some particular reason, so I just let the words roll. As soon as I submitted it I went back to bed…[/SIZE]
[SIZE="2"]It might be the air conditioning, which is working almost TOO well these days. I feel like I have a slight fever, so I'm cold one moment and hot the next. It’s very frustrating – I don’t have enough energy to crossdress! I’m a bit of a tender petal, I’m afraid, which goes with the territory…
[/SIZE]
[SIZE="2"]You’re absolutely right! Count me among the saved…Posting saves lives.[/SIZE]
At the risk of speaking for Freddy (which, incidentally, seems to be exactly what I am about to do (sorry Freddy!!!)), I do not believe she is writing that she is going to stop posting "because people have the potential to be mean."
If that were the case, Freddy would have disappeared long ago from any meaningful contact with humankind altogether. We all have the potential to be mean. But whether we are or not, whether we walk down that road, or take another path instead, that is the determinative factor as to how we (whoever constitutes the definition of "we") are viewed and perceived. Freddy isn't writing about those who are mean. Rather, she is advocating the position that for those who respond to meaningful threads, please do so in a meaningful manner. At least, that is my take (FWIW) on the OP.
As for whether this forum constitutes a place to pour one's soul out - I completely agree that it is. I agree one hundred and ten percent, in fact, that it is. I think few can argue, for better or worse, that I have not done so myself. And truth be told, the benefit that I have received for having done so is immeasurable. I would not be the person I am today but for opening up to all of you. The forum has been a family to me. The forum is wise, compassionate, caring, loving, and embracing. Within the hallowed electronic pages of this site hope springs eternal, and offers the prospect of a more fulfilling life to those who proactively seek it out.
But in comparison to my own participation here, assuming mine has any value at all, Freddy pours her soul into all of her compositions every time she takes the time to reduce her thoughts to writing. Actually, it's more than that - she pours both her heart and soul into her work. And I, for one, am very much grateful for that which she does. Freddy makes the forum a better place. She stands for the beauty and magic of life, and that is admirable in and of itself. Of course, we all contribute to the greatness of the forum, and that is how it should be, and how it is.
Please read the OP again. You have missed the point . . . .
I just checked and I don't think I did.
She wrote a nice essay that I enjoyed reading and I responded in general to the question posted at the end.
I actually worded that part wrong, when I wrote "don't tell me you're" I was writing to users in general.
Put me down as one of those who declines to post on subjects that are beyond my experience or are of little personal interest or where only a catty remark comes to mind. This extends to what posts I select to read in detail. Life is to short to spend time digesting posts that aren't aimed at my level of CD interest.
[Marleena, Sometimes I have had posts or threads deleted or moved, by THE MOD SQUAD, too. Sometimes I feel hurt, and upset, but after reviewing it, THE MOD SQUAD usually has a point why they deleted my post. Sometimes criticism by others on threads or posts. I usually, get away for a while, then come back, but must admit to being a bit slower to post deep stuff/ I know that i am too self centered and too sensitive to what other s say. I need a thicker skin. because life is rough, and everybody has an opinion, and a right to say it, evin if it hurts. We must not be afraid to tell our stories, and humor is a big area many ;ike myself need more of. Hello MOD SQUAD![/I]
Well Alice I'm happy to report that my issue and worry about Karren was me erring on the side of caution. Apparently she knows me well enough that it was not an issue.
As far as the picture I was berrated for, it might have been copyrighted even though I couldn't find out but there is fair use and public domain. I've learned not to do that again anyways. The friend I posted the picture for totally got the joke. The problem is others may have found it offensive even if it wasn't meant for them. It was a picture of a rather large crossdresser in a padded cupid suit that I assume used it for his girlfriend as a funny Valentine's card.
Sorry for going off topic here.
Freddy, I don't read all your posts but most of them I do, it just depends what kind of mood I'm in when scrolling along the threads, sometimes
I'm feeling like a smart ass and other times I'm in a serious mood. I know I don't respond to many if any of your posts but that doesn't mean that they are not appreciated or have value to people here. Unfotunatley for me I am not very articulate and I don't talk very much in life. I'm also known to be able to keep secrets very well "like right to the grave" if you tell me to do so and we are friends.
You need to remember when you do something in life and become very good at doing it such as "how you write" the more people will pass judgement. The more successful a business man becomes or the bigger you are in the world, the more critical everybody gets. Also remember people make mistakes even though their comments seem to be or are malicious. I've made dumb ass comments before that I later regret.
Keep writing!
As Confusious said ( or maybe it was his neighbor), "Once a nail is driven into place, it benefits neither the nail nor hammer to keep pounding."
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