I am really good with computers and mechanical inclined if this helps. Em not negative. Im just a realist. People just assume im negative before i start a conversation for some reason. How people can hear my brain working is beyond me. I don't laugh all that much and I guess i have an answer for everything instead of sometimes just making a joke out of an opinion. That seems to make people laugh I guess.
I would say people are closed-minded.Originally Posted by jsunic_1978
I don't understand why women dislike us so much. I am still single, maybe because I am just honest about what I do. I do not dress often. Just because women know about this they wont give me the time of day, Tough I do not push this on anyone that doesn't accept nor I would dress when I go on a date. Am I being honest to quickly or are people just that closed minded and nasty? any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thank you
This might be coming from a bitter place of sorts, but I also need to rephrase it...people aren't closed-minded, so much as most are hive-minded. They don't think for themselves. For example, someone has already mentioned that it is the general assumption that all crossdressers are gay, stemming from simply desiring to wear women's clothes.
*Sigh*
At least most of you all have dated and/or have had relationships. I've never dated yet, mainly because I want to indulge in crossdressing.
80% of the women out there or GG's know we Cd fit better in there clothes than they do and we dont care what most think about it!
I am who I am...I am very happy with who I am! I am transgender! Time for others to deal with it or get out of my way!
I have run into more women who are accepting of it. Have you tried telling guys? Jeeze. That's the harder one to deal with. Seems more guys make fun of you because they think you are gay. The women I have run into that hate it view it as offensive at first because the stereotype of men wearing women's clothes to get off. Then, when you show them pictures like I did, showing it isn't just sexual for some, rather, an interest...they seem to cool down.
"If you think you can or can't, you're right" -Henry Ford
Mes amis, bonjour from France...
I don't know what is the resolution to the situation. I find some people, male and female, who don't like seeing me wearing a skirt and some people who don't understand what the fuss is all about.
At my eldest daughter's wedding just about every man in the room was wearing a skirt (including me) - but, because we were in Scotland, they called it by a different name - and most of the women (including my First Wife) said how dashing we all looked.
There is a mother and father in the UK who are presently accused of murdering their daughter because her activities brought "shame on their family". One of the things that brought "shame" was to wear clothes that her family thought were unacceptable.
The girl's name was Shafilea Ahmed.
So go figure
Last edited by AshleyScott; 07-17-2012 at 04:33 AM. Reason: spelling
Ashley
Yes this was the point I was going to make. Turn this around and think "why do guys hate women who dress like like men?" Because they want their woman to look like woman and not a man.
A Kilt is not a skirt, there is nothing feminine about a kilt.
People are close minded or narrow minded because of Religios upbringing and that dammed Bible. One book that should be burned, it's full of lies!
Completely agree, you should definitely present yourself as a complex person, not just one sided entity. The advice couldn't be better!!!
Lov'n it!!!!
Well I think the obvious would be a good starting point for consideration. We are all taught from birth by deeds and actions, that there are male and there are female attributes and they are not supposed to be mixed together. Any variation from the black and white design instantly creates difficulties. Women are encouraged throughout life to ' find a man ' for rearing children, our primary goal of purpose apparently. When we as men display any feminine characteristics, that goes against the grain and creates an issue. It's not so much women dislike us, but rather they are taught to believe in, and react in a manner that we do not find acceptable. All you can do is simply ignore the ones that are not capable of having an open mind. The understanding ones are out there but certainly in a minority. Nonetheless, they are there. My s/o was 44 when she learned of me so age is not a barrier, albeit, the younger generation seems more open to variations.
Pretty much this. I've had my former SO say that feeling threatened by ''a fake'' makes women feel subhuman, even if it is just over something minor like hair.
Truth does not fear investigation. Society, however, cowers before both.
Because im not gay and could care less what men think. Im tired of having only male friends. This is prob another reason i came out of the closet besides this being a fetish,
I don't mind giving advice (I do it all the time here). I don't mind critiquing (I am brutally honest). I do mind being the one who is doing all the work. I will sit and watch you put on your make up; I will look at what you have done after you attempt it, I may even touch some things up. (and I expect my computer savvy friends to explain how I can fix it, not fix it FOR me). But when you read the posts here when someone asks for a GG to "help" they usually mean..."Do me up like I am a doll and then WE can play!!!!!!"
You asked why GGs dislike CDs (well you said "hate" but very few hate). There are several reasons. One is CDs tend to act very immature, very teenager-ish, they think it is a mean to the end (getting laid), they are narcissistic (I will admit to that), they are self centered, they WANT and don't give (i.e. "why doesn't she like it when I do it? It isn't fair she gets to do what she wants to do"...also see the means to the end above...when all you want is to dress to get laid and then you go watch a game or fall asleep...OH wait that is misandry..another thread).
So you met a woman who didn't like what you were doing. I doubt it was totally being in a dress. In fact I suspect it was a lot of the attitude. So she dumped you, she didn't want to play your reindeer games. Thus every GG in the world is a b****. Right? We are on post 70 something, seems the GGs are NOT haters are winning. Throw me into the haters group. Why because one out of 100 CDs is a PITA. And they don't see why. Therefore all CDs are PITAs. But maybe I am looking at it from a older, been there done that, frame of mind.
There comes a time whenand
start to hurt and you should quit, thus, I quit on this thread. You won't change your mind, you didn't want answers you just wanted to moan about how you believe you were dissed. All (or even most) women do not hate CDs. People hate other people for many reasons. The way you dress; the way you walk; the friends you keep. That is all. Once again I am the lucky one here. I have never met a woman (friendwise OR romantically...and yes I have "played" while dressed but is wasn't just about me being dressed) who hated "me" because of what I wore. they were never jealous or threatened. They never feared me ruining their lives in any form. Some have shown disapproval for social or religious reasons, but no more (and actually less than) men. That is fine with me. I have met a preponderance of others who like me for social and personal reasons. Maybe again it is because I am older and I don't press the issue.
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Actually, I can understand this to a degree. Still, I doubt you would see a woman harassed for taking on "male characteristics" so far as dress and fashion(such as a woman cutting her hair very short, wearing pants, etc.) as much as you would mess with a man for wearing long hair and lipstick.
Janessa is exactly right. My wife has no problem with men in dresses, in fact she thinks it's cute, funny, etc... She just does not like to see HER man in a dress.
If you were a woman would you want to be married to a cross dresser?
I am banging on the keyboard this morning dressed in cut off jeans, tee shirt, no socks and wearing beat up moccasin slippers and unshaven. Would my wife really like to see me in a cute sundress, bra, panties, slip, thigh high stockings and three inch heels and a wig?
It is also a matter of going against basic human biology.
Women are just not innately attracted to men who exhibit feminine traits. At one time it was matter of survival for them to find a man who was strong, tough, a good provider, had good sexual prowess to breed children, a "real man". Society does not encourage girls to be attracted to feminine men either, despite a lot of lip service about how men should be more sensitive, more willing to take on traditional female gender roles etc. How many girls are encouraged by their peers to date the quarterback of the high school football team, versus the boy who is more artistic and sensitive?
At the same time, times have changed for women. For men, expectations of what a woman should be has greatly changed, whether by their own coincidence choice or by necessity due to the lack of available desired partners. A man who says he would not date a woman with short hair, or one who wears pants, or one with small breasts, or one who likes fixing cars would have his head torn off by women at large for saying such awful things; a woman who says she wants a man who is tough and looks, acts and lives their life like a thug, or wants a man who has a lot of money and will buy her things is not likely to be attacked for what she wants. What women desire in a male partner seems to have changed very little in the post-feminist era. If a man wants a woman as an intimate partner and cannot find exactly what he wants, eventually most will learn to be quite flexible and take what is available to them. Women, by nature, are just not as desperate and they don't have to be as flexible; if she doesn't want a man who is feminine, there are plenty of men that fit that bill, or are willing to be flexible to conform to her desires. If a man wants a woman who likes feminine traits in her man, he will have a rough time of it because most women just don't and they don't have to compromise on that.
It is the way human nature works, I hate it, as a modern man I admit I even resent it. At the same time, it is futile to struggle against it, it is like getting mad the sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening. It is just something I don't have control over. I don't resent GGs for what they desire, it is just nature, it is not something they choose or not choose; I am frustrated over it, but I certainly am not resentful or hate GGs for it. All I can do is someday hope to find one of the very, very tiny number of women who are willing to be flexible when it comes to traditional gender expectations.
Last edited by Vickie_CDTV; 07-17-2012 at 01:29 PM.
You hit the nail on the head with that one Vickie
“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.”
Mary Anne Radmacher
I read most of this thread and now my head hurts
Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!
Most women find us unique. The fact is that are there billions of "normal men" out there. But there are only two or three of us, figuratively speaking.
A guy who crossdresses and is looking for a girl, should market the fact that he is different from other guys and emphasize how that can be an asset for her.
So you wear a dress to work. What does that do for your potential girlfriend? You are already different in your styles, but strive to be different in how you treat women, compared to how other guys treat women.
For example, never raise your voice or swear when in any argument with her. Normal guys will raise their voices and cuss their women out during arguments.
Show extra willingness to accept some of the blame but only if you deserve it. "Normal men" will never do this.
Normal men also have a tendency to act selfish. Therefore, we should be the opposite: selfless. In fact, most transgender people are already selfless to an extent.
Always be willing to help but don't be a pansy and don't be intrusive.
The 21st century has changed our styles and outward gender preferences, but it has not changed the rules of dating and marriage. Those rules are the same for both normal people and crossdressers.
The things you did for your girl before you began crossdressing, are the same things you should do for her even while you are dressed.
As a woman I have no problem with crossdressing in general or crossdressers.
If my son wanted to, no problem. My brother, father, friend ect... no problem. I would go out shopping with them and have a blast. But I am not attracted to any of these people in my life.
As a straight woman I am attracted to men. Men who look like men. With body hair. I accept that my husband cross dresses part time in private because I love him, but do I want to see it? Nope. Is the idea of it something that turns me on? Absolutely not.
I think if I went on a date with someone I did not know and they told me they crossdressed that would be the end of thinking of them in a sexual way for me. Now if I really liked them as a person we could go out shopping and all of that stuff, but I think that would be as far as the relationship would go.
I found out about my husband after we had been together for years and were already in love, so I had a reason to try to understand and accept it, but I just couldn't see it working out that way in a new relationship.
"These little earthquakes, here they go again.
These little earth quakes, doesn't take much to rip us into pieces..." Tori Amos
Lot's of speculation written above! Some good, some bad. But, do u REALLY want to know what goes thru many women's minds when u say u dress?
Probably very similar to what would go thru yours if she said to u she'd just been released from prison or an asylum!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
When I re-discovered dressing a few years ago, when I was out of town, I told my SO on the phone, and as soon as I got home went to see her, with my new shoes, bra, etc. She was actually frightened. She believed that it meant I was gay, and our relationship was in the tank. I didn't push it, and a couple of months later we went on a 2-day out of town trip. Wenda showed up, and she and my SO had a great time, shopping, buying trashy jewellery, etc. We refer to Wenda in the third person, as a somewhat trashy buddy. I haven't dressed completely in a couple of years, but often attach a pair of breast forms. My sweetie (who has awesome boobs) often tweeks and plays with 'my girls'. Just took time and understanding. Good luck
I think the feelings of what Marie shared with us is the way the majority of women feel. It's OK to be friends with a CD, but definitely not relationship material. There lies the problem of telling women to soon. Once a GG is given the opportunity to get to know you, to trust you and really like you, her reaction may be like Marie expressed....You might just be put in the dreaded "friends zone" Perhaps a fine line of telling to soon and waiting to long.
I think im going to turn gay and date other dressers. women are just too judgmental as it is, without a guy cross dressing.also, i do lack paitences with giving things time to develop. That prop explains why i have a SHOE FETISH as an alternative to picking up street hookers.
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