Miss Muffet I don't know if this has been said yet. Listen to your CDing spouse! Your spouse can tell you better than anybody else where she is headed with all of this.
We are all over the map as far as being TG is concerned. Only your spouse can give you the answers you seek. You'll find great advice in dealing with this from the GG's who have a CD spouse, so get your ten posts.
Glad you are still here Miss M.
Count me as another that is glad you are still here Ms M. This would be just another CD site if it were not for all the loving GG's we have here. I learn as much as the GG's do by reading posts by our more beautiful GG members.
the girl asked a question, she should have received civil answers, not abuse. Good manners cost nothing.
Absolutely right Flo xOriginally Posted by flo
Masculine, or so I thought!
Why does this change your mind about that? Does he suddenly not do the Masculine things he used to do? Does he work on the car in a cocktail dress? Mow the lawn in high heels? Is he more attentive to you than before?
He actually listens to me!
Well, from personal experience and years of self-examination I would say that's because he has an inert feminine component that is expressed more than you find in the other men you've known. I had a gf tell me once that she thought I was the most gentle and considerate MAN she had ever known. I attribute that to being accepting of my feminine side. I've found that I don't need to be Macho to be masculine. I enjoy expressing my feminine side when I dress, but it doesn't change anything else.
None of this means that he will want to live full time as a woman. We are all individuals with individual needs. Being able to express ALL of ourselves is very strong in us but that doesn't mean it changes us.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
you have come to a good site, I would say as a GG though, it can be very informative here to learn of all the different levels of TG/crossdressers. It can also be very confusing and unsettling to read some of the posts. I would take a long hard look at the relationship, this condition is different for sure and brings with it many issues that can change over time, levels can escalate, the sexual component is unsettling (to me anyway, thinking that a man turns himself on, when he sees himself dressed like a woman). I would suggest to acquire as much info on the topic as poss, communicate with this man, and make a decision if this lifestyle is what you really want. You are lucky to have been informed early in the relationship, not all GG's have been given that honestly/consideration, that in itself speaks volumes about your friend.
Last edited by CINDYO; 07-29-2012 at 04:58 AM. Reason: spelling
Cindyo, You bring up as aspect of crossdressing I have never seen addressed in any forum thread. You are right! A man can be turned on when he sees himself dressed. So I of course think that a GG might feel cheated if the man is turned on to the point of masturbation and then the GG feels she is not enough. Very good point. But at the same time, can a GG get just as turned on when she reads any of the spicy romance novels that many read? I think it only becomes a problem when the dressing takes the place of being intimate with his SO.
I guess that can and does happen. I wonder how much of a problem that is.
Brandy i think a better comparison would be, a woman turning herself on sexually if she dresses up and pretends to be a male. That would be quite an abnormal, perhaps concerning situation, and most husbands, boyfriends would never tolerate it. Should a man or woman become turned on when reading/watching spicey romance - very normal, almost expected IMO. I do think solo sex is concerning to a partner, the question is - why. Unless of coarse the partner is unwilling/able to join in, and i have not added on the crossdressing thing, whole new bunch of "why's" then enter into a persons thoughts. This is very strange for a SO, GG to come to terms with. I guess my point is, really soul search and figure out is you are truly wanting to take this path with this person in lfe. It apparently NEVER goes away and there can be one heck of a pile of baggage with it.
This is a characteristic of dressing that I believe tends to diminish with experience. The first few times I experimented with items of women's clothing or makeup it was sexually arousing, but after I began to accept this part of myself and started dressing more completely the sexual component went away completely. Male arousal is the last thing I want to deal with when dressed.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
Hi to all and this is my first post.
For a "GG" I feel it has to do with the feeling of being threatened by the "other woman." For those of us that have lived two lives we see both sides of the fence so to speak. I think it has to do with acceptance and realizing it does not change the love or the "feelings" toward the one you're with but binds the feelings deeper and stronger. For a man to be accepted by his wife for wanting to enjoy his feminene side would be the ultimate gift of love.
Happyjackie
Ms M, Just joined the post.... UK time! Sorry if you have had some bad experiences here... overall we are a good bunch of well meaning folk... if slightly deranged in the gender stakes...
For the record, I am married, have three great girls who are now grown up and one of them has a beautiful daughter. All three have University degrees and I am a very proud Dad and Grandad!
Oh yeah, and I crossdress... Have been doing it for 40 plus years...
I am also a senior academic and a rock guitar player... I know you joined a good site - most of the people here are great... feel free to PM me for any advice I can give. It must be a real shock to find out. I know it was for my wife.
Kaz
Kaz xx
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This Woman Within is Flying without Wings
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