Am I being Hypocritical?

[Barbara Dugan]

I have this dilemma, I am a gay cross dresser and in all of the dating sites I join I always state who I am. I really don't mind if a guy that approach me define himself as Bi, straight or Gay what really matter to me is his masculine appearance and how comfortable we are with each other.
I meet this cute guy online, totally the kind guy I am attracted to. We did ask the normal questions about each other.I always ask for current pics just to match the ones from the profile and if they are sexy much better...then he send me ones with him on high heels and this action threw me completely off.

Do you think I am being hypocritical? Because I am just a Gay Transvestite but I just can't overcome the aversion I have with relationships with other crossdressers

[Violetgray]

Who you are and what you like can certainly be different things. When a woman says she likes a man with big muscles and a hairy chest, no one thinks she's being hypocritical if she fails to have big muscles and a hairy chest herself!

[AllieSF]

No Barbara, your selection criteria are yours and there is nothing wrong with them. However, maybe this person is in a similar situation as you and has no problems going out with a gay crossdresser. That is his criteria. Maybe you just need to clarify in your profile what you are not interested so in. Just don't make it too negative, because that can be a turn off to potential suitors.

Now, while we are on the subject of dating. I think most of us transgenders (in the global encompassing terminology definition) have problems finding someone who we are attracted to and that may be attracted to us, physically and lifestyle-wise. So, it doesn't surprise me that he may be attracted to you and hoping that you are accepting and maybe even happy that he also crossdresses. I say that so that maybe you can better appreciate where he may be coming from.

I wish you the best.

[Cherry Lynn]

I do not think you are being hypocritical as I feel as you do. I do not mind being friends with another crossdresser but want a man for a relationship.

[Elizabeth]

Hi Barbara,

No, you are not. You like what you like, you can't help that. Being honest about what you like and what you want is how you find happiness. As long as you accept people for who they are, you are not being a hypocrite. That doesn't mean you have to date people you are just not attracted to.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Cynthia Anne]

I say no! You are just being you! You know what you want! ! Hugs!

[Vickie_CDTV]

Maybe he just likes wearing high heels and nothing else femme? He might be a great partner for you, if you can be a bit flexible about that one thing.

Many admirers are also closet dressers, and my friends who like men say this is quite common to find one that also dresses (or wants to dress.)

[Marleena]

Not hypocritical at all Barbara. You are entitled to find a person that appeals to you. It's your life.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Barbara, Nothing wrong with wanting your guy to be a manly man.

[sometimes_miss]

Nothing hypocritical at all. You just want someone that you're attracted to.....just like everyone else. Good luck.

[Kate Simmons]

Absolutely not Hon. In fact I feel the same way about the guys I go out with.

[Cheryl T]

What you prefer in a man is your choice.
If you don't want him to be a p/t cd that's entirely up to you, just as it is that you may prefer him tall rather than short, a certain age, a particular race or whatever. Those are your criteria and you should not feel bad about having a selection process....everyone does when looking for someone.

[TxKimberly]

Who you are and what you like can certainly be different things. When a woman says she likes a man with big muscles and a hairy chest, no one thinks she's being hypocritical if she fails to have big muscles and a hairy chest herself!

Gotta say that Violet's analogy is spot on. I find nothing hypocritical in your actions or your feelings

[Jenniferathome]

Hypocritical would be you disliking ME, for example, for being a crossdresser. I think you situation is more ironic but physical attraction is what it is.

[Michelle_Tokyo]

Barbara I totally agree with what others are saying. If I meet another CD/TG/TS then I hug them and respect them. But if I want to date someone he should masculine and all man for the woman I want to be for him.

[kimdl93]

You can only be attracted to people you're attracted to. Be yourself...don't force it.