It's about the same for me. I just started 2 weeks ago and have to learn yet, how to use makeup the right way. I tested a few things on omegle and got a lot of compliments, which made me really happy and gave me the feeling that I can achieve an almost passing look. It's kinda like a challenge for me. I want to make the best impression of a female that I could. It's just for fun, a new hobby (an expensive one for that matter).Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
For many of us (including me), crossdressing is largely visual. Yes, I like the feel, sounds, and smells, but it's the appearance that does it for me. When I look into the mirror, I want to see a woman, even as different that ideal image is for me than it is for others.
Like most crossdressers, I get a kick out of looking like an attractive woman. As time marches on, it takes more to get that "Kick". I need a more intense experience. So I added makeup, wig, forms. And finally I went out shopping. I loved to watch my reflection in store windows. I loved the idea that women thought I was a woman. I was not so comfortable with men thinking I was a woman. I did not want to be the object of their desire. I liked it when they held the door for me though.
i dress as a woman so that i can feel like a woman (what ever that might be) so i want to appear to look like a woman as close as i can to satisfiy me not anyone else as any self respecting woman would do i don't have to pass just be me Hugs Ronda
hugs
Ronda
It mostly depends on the individual person. Some have a "need to pass", while to others it may be more of a "sense of being".
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
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Its a habitWay back in time, when Samantha first went out and about, women wore skirts.
.Skinny jeans and bikinis were almost unheard of and as for the internet, that was not even science fiction. Dungarees were the then equivalent of jeans and a one piece swimsuit was often worn by men.
Now who in there full femm mode would want to wear either of those ? No internet meant no reassignment cafuffle and like others I existed. Skirts were near ankle length as I remember. Now I love my minis. Two piece swimsuits come from various places in interesting styles, (placeslike the High Street or like Fig leaf if you dare).
~Samm
I love to achieve being passable. I can do it in some pics (or at least I like to think I can), but in person my shoulders a a bit too broad, I think.
Being passable is important to me because I like to see what I'd actually look like as a female and it's just a bigger turn-on to see in pics.
My feelings are the same as Eryn's on this one. She hit right on the head.
I have been out in public for the last 18 years, and I have never been beat up or killed, and the making fun has been maybe once every three or four months someone might yell something out the window of a passing car. And I live in Oklahoma.
Story of my coming out:
http://www.bliss-fire.com/ComingOut.htm
The first time I ever encounted a CDer was as a child in the '60s. It was in a small Western town full of cowboy mentality, a place where a hippie of the time wouldn't receive a good reception.
Yet, for some reason this crossdresser was tolerated. She bought clothes at the thrift store where my mother volunteered, and they would set aside items in her size when they came in.
Years later, when I understood the dynamic better I asked my father how this particular person could be so tolerated in such a red-neck town. He said "It's simple. He was the best Diesel mechanic in a hundred miles."
Moral? Be a valuable member of society and society will tend to overlook one's pecadillos!
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
I can only dress completely with forms, wig, makeup, shoes, clean legs and face. I want to blend in and be noticed at the sake time. I never ever considered, and never will, wearing women's clothing and presenting as a man. I understand your question and respect your right to be who you are and present how you like. However, I have that same question as you do but in reverse. Why would someone want to dress in women's clothing and present as a guy? I know that they will be noticed, probably not confronted and receive additional attention as someone who stands out as being very different? I sometimes think that maybe some do that just to be different, wearing something that they like and looking to stand out on the crowd.
I am not afraid how people perceive me, but I do want to emulate as best possible a female. I do not pass up close, but easily get by at a distance. I actively engage total strangers in sometimes very long and intimate conversations about whatever. I enjoy being the man that I am and dressing up as a women and going out when I can.
Its simple, really. Its reality vs something else. If you plan to live in the world and be accepted as a woman full time, then you have to do a good job, but maybe not perfect because its a lot of effort...and for some its a reality that they need time and work to get there...so its just a trade-off and you have to learn to just be yourself no matter how good you look. For others, CDing part time its more like a challenge to be passable...its the ultimate success....why? to experience what a woman does. Doesn't mean you want to be one, but maybe you just want to experience it. Its because I keep hearing that 'Girls have fun'... I want to have fun too.
Chickie
Hi Kalaire, Every Crossdresser his his own level of satisfaction.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
Shopping is really fun Chickhe
Interesting replies and thank you for them all. I know there is no one simple answer to my question and there are as many reasons as there are people here. I fully understand the perception thing. I get some very odd looks at times, but to me braving these... social conceptions.. is what helps make me feel stronger inside. Yes some people look at me as if I am freak and should be locked away for the safety of world. Others do not bat an eyelid at me. But the social sigma can be very hard at times and the pressure of needing to conform - even now - is something I have to bow to at times so I do understand.
While I have experimented with looking female in the past it kinda repulses me as that is not who or what I am. I can never look in the mirror and see "Klaire". While I accept there are two sides to my personality, they live in harmony and make me who I am as a whole person. Perhaps I cannot (and may never) understand this acting/being female thing because I see my Gemini personality combined and never as separate pieces/people. I am me, whether in male / female / mixed clothing. I never change my personality or desires. I simply am.
Never considered that passing as female would make it easier to wear what you want, but the logic is totally sound. Maybe because looks are only one part of passing and again I have no distinct female personality, only my blended mix inside me - it makes it hard to grasp this.
My mind is now asking a question and it is technically rhetorical as there is no real answer.
Who is the biggest threat to society:
The man who wears female clothes just because he doesn't see why he can't what he wants or the man tries to pass as female just so he can wear what he wants?
I don't even society can answer that one.
I am not sure you meant to use the word "threat"?
NO ONE is a threat to Society simply because of the clothes they choose to wear.
Who is a bigger threat to Society? A business man in a suit or a hospital worker in scrubs?
Hi Klaire, Everyone is different, I've only been dressing two months, I took my first trip to a store today I think I passed, who knows who cares, it made me feel like I accomplished something. I saw a young man today dressed in feminine clothes, not my thing but live and let live...I make it a policy not to dig too deep. Jaymee
There are different degrees of passing and as you "pass" through each door you open up experiences that would be otherwise unknown and unavailable to you.
Each of us experiences the world according to our circumstances but sometimes we need or want to experience the world in ways that our circumstances do not allow so we work toward changing them.
There is an intense sense of freedom that comes from being invisible (passing) but only to those that need it.
Passing can be serious work or playfully frivolous and both are legitimate needs but those who make no attempt to pass expand the world for those who want or need to by making everything acceptable increasing the freedoms and protections of others.
Hi Klair,
Someone said, I think Seinfeld, that the number one fear people have is public embarrassment not dying. Being passable means not being publicly embarrassed. No one, or perhaps very few of us, want to be embarrassed and or humiliated while out in public. So no matter if ones love of female clothing is a sexual fetish or who we feel we truly are, passing means not being noticed for ridicule. I think people also have an innate fascination with being able to "trick" people, as it were. It's one's little secret. But mainly to avoid public ridicule.
Love always,
Elizabeth
[SIZE=3]It is always our choice, who we are-Waking Life[/SIZE]
Wow, wonderful question! Please indulge me as i play master po here for a minute or two... ( I'm not shaolin, but have practiced pa-kua and wu-jang to some degree for a third of a century now-): passing is a benchmark you have set up in your mind, as o have most of us (me included). It has fuzzy borders, but it is a real delineation in what we are concerned with- being seen as male or female.
Write back to me in 10 or 20 years, and tell me whether or not you finally begin to feel that the transition of male to female is not just as important as being seen as female.
What we do- is is not unlike magic- illusion, not for the purpose of hurting others, but in skillfully manipulating other's perception of you or your actions.
it is a dep question worthy of taoist meditation, but it is also answered equally well in a prosaic manner.
May i suggest you stare yourself in the face in a mirror- and repeat your question five times? It's a nice little exercise to help you focus in a less chatic manner. And unlike every single medicatio out there- it has NO adverse reactions... ;-)
deep breaths, and ask yourself that question over an over as a "mantra". You'll get some really good insights rather quickly, in terms of learning and applying eastern philosophies...
-kristi (following her own advice almost daily- and much of a pain as it is)
(big hug to you- as one of my best mentors does to me.)
I dress this way so that others can see the me that's inside struggling to get out.
I could never go out dresses "half-way"...in other words, my bra and forms under a t-shirt, no makeup or wig, and the like. I'm not trying to push the boundaries of society or be androgynous. I'm just trying to be me.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
I love this thread! But it does show the breadth of feelings about this whole area. I have kind of gotten used to seeing my male head on top of a slim(ish) female looking form, but it always looks wrong to me. When I then transform with makeup and wig the feeling is awesome. Yes I would love to experience what women do and over my life I have often wished I was one. But I suspect if I was I may just want this old life back. I am too old to realistically go the whole hog with GRS etc.. and as I said I would hate to be there and regret it.
So for me the closest I can get is to try to look and feel as close to a female as I can get. And that I guess is passing. Because if I can pass, then I can get out and experience the outside world as well as within the proverbial four walls.
I haven't been out for a while. I haven't 'transformed' for a while. I really miss it and keep planning a few days away to go 'en femme' 24/7... just need to justify the spend!
Kaz xx
__________________________________________________ ____________
This Woman Within is Flying without Wings
Now this is a GIRL after my own HEART !! Me an her are on the same PAGE ,,,, Im not doing all that ,,Im way to lazy to go all out 24/7 ,,But I wear what I want when I want ,,Dont get me wrong ,,, Im not going to put fuel on the fire ,, If you try an push it to much yull get whats comeing to ya . But for the most part no one cares . I wear girl clothes 24/7 an no body says anything . But I woundn't recemend wear heels an mini to walmart with a beard ,,, But maybe some capis an sneekers ,, But you gotta figure out what you want how far your willing to go .An no when to say when ,,,Just like drinking ,,,lol,,,, So most of this craps in your head ,,Nobodys staring at you ,,, BUT MEEEEEE ,,,,,HA,,,,HA,,,,HA,,,, Looking good by the way ,,,LOL,,,
Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,
U MUST be joking, Klaire?! Passing can be a matter of life and death!
Considering how many folks have guns in this country!?
Plus, have u ever tried to escape from a pitchfork and torch bearing mob in these new 6" platform heels?
Passing is the only COMPLETELY SAFE WAY to go out these days!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
For me, I don't know if I want to pass more than I just want my appearance to be as feminine as possible. I don't want to transition, though the taught of being "En Femme" for a evening of social interaction, is a thought that pleases my soul. It's not just about the clothes, the shoes, but the face too, the act of putting on makeup, adjusting every strap, smoothing the skirt, pulling up the stockings, slipping into those heels. I doubt I'll ever really pass with a cleft chin, broad shoulders, a non-beer, beer belly, and running back thighs, but honey, I'm the prettiest grunt around, and I feel wonderful when I'm dress. In the end, that's what's it about, isn't it dear.
Cassie
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