as i am trying to build up the confidence and figure out the right time and way to bring it up i need some help with the confidence part, who has some great success stories telling their SO? every little bit could help...
Thanks!
as i am trying to build up the confidence and figure out the right time and way to bring it up i need some help with the confidence part, who has some great success stories telling their SO? every little bit could help...
Thanks!
If your sure this relationship is going to be long term then tell her as soon as possble .Sit her down be very honest and take it slow !!.If she acceppts it still take one step at a time it may take awhile for her to process everthing .If she does not acceppt it try to make a compromise and stick to it but if it right out rejection then you might have to move on ?.Good luck i hope the best for you and your girl !.I realize this post is not quite a confidence builder but i hope i could help
I have a hubcap diamond star halo
I mention dressing to my date (Now Wife) on our 3 date. As i was waiting for her to get ready, the TV was on a
award show with the red carpet thing. I mention that I would liked to have tried on a dress that someone was showing
off on the TV. She asked, Would you wear a dress like that, I said sure, but I do not think it comes in my size.
About 2 dates later; I had a BBQ in my back yard. It started to rain, and forced us inside. MY Date, (WIFE) asked
me to go and put on a dress if I had one. I looked at her and said I only have a few skirts and tops.
OK, She said, Go and show me. Well I did, and we where married about 6 months later, and still now for over 18+ years.
Rader
Best to tell her from the get go and not hide it.
I mean feel her out first on the subject first you may not want to fess up to it if its just a passing romance.
If a serious romance yes tell her as soon as you can.
Always wear panties when out on a date. That way--if she really wants to know...she will ask.
The sooner the better the longer you wait the harder it is.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
Rader--That is SO cool !!
Hey Blue--was that a pun ?? heheOriginally Posted by BLUE ORCHID
My story is below. Don't take it lightly but it will be the best thing you have ever done.
I told the lady that I wanted to marry that I was a CD when I proposed to her! I had known her for many years as we grew up together, but she did not know that I was a CD. When I told her she asked me if I wanted to be a woman. I told her No, I just liked to dress like one! She said, ' well, then lets get married so I can help you!" We had almost 50 years of happiness together, with 2 children, before cancer took her!
As other have said, take it slow. But always be very honest with her! And always remind her that you are her man!!
Stephanie
Lady on the outside, but man underneath!
You're going to find two basic camps here on this site. Those that say honesty is the best policy and those that choose to remain the secret identity. I had a little bit of Renne leak out to the SO some time ago and although I was able to cover the "who's boots are these" issue, it really exposed how she felt about me wanting to wear 'that stuff'. Basically you risk everything by going the honest route. For me, I'm sure my next posts would be from some rundown apartment with no heat or a/c if the SO knew the extent of the outfits... Oh, someday, I'm going to share but I'm going with the DADT policy for now ...
Each of us has to make their own decision on this one and whatever you decide... go with it and stick with it regardless of the consequences...
Renne....
Im still waiting for a little glimmer of success ..... sigh.....
This might help. Maybe. VVV
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...&highlight=the
Personally I was quite surprised at the "positivity" of the majority of responses. It also seemed many others were also.
YOUR SO already knows. YOU, by your own admission are mostly a fetish dresser, which is how mamy here started. Many are surprised at how far they have come. You seem to be in this same boat in that you don't really KNOW where you might be with your own CDing, a year or two or 3 down the road so I think you are going to have a hard time explaining to your SO how much you like dressing up.
Don't assume like many here that Love or kinship or friendship conquers all and that someone who loves you will understand and get onboard with your CDing.
You DO seem to NEED to share this part of you with your SO. I see no good reason for you to wait any longer before sitting down with her and getting your feelings off your chest. Otherwise it is only going to eat at you.
Perhaps she might be happier with a DADT scenario. Would that/could that work for you?
One last thing to keep in mind. Good, compatible mates are not a dime a dozen. If you otherwise have a great Relationship going, you might need to keep your CDing to yourself to "keep the peace". Only you can decide if SHE is worth that.
Your SO, obviously has the same choice.
Wildaboutheels your answer was one of the most honest ones I have seen posted.
Do not take all the successes you read here as the absolutes, this forum is just a small small SMALL percentage of Cders inthe world, country or where ever
My question to yuou is what exactly is your idea of a success story, or what would you like to see happen
Here I see about 5% of us here as having a loving SO that accepts, helps and encourages our CDing
about 15% of us that have told our SO about our CDing and they now know but want nothing to do with it. Sorta like still being in the closet.
In that 15% there are probably about half of them that will eventually have to make the choice of dressing or SO.
Then the rest of us that are still buried deep in a closet, with maybe about again about half of them would love to come out.
I believe we would all love that the world would accept us dressed as a woman with no ill thoughts.
I hear all the time it is best to tell your SO right away, and in some ways I fully agree.
BUT, to me this decision to tell is as big as buying a house or getting married and having kids, it will be a life altering one.
If you are just starting a relationship and feel you can let this person go anytime then go ahead and tell them.
But if you can't live without them then keep your mouth shut.
I can't see people willing to give up their lives and marriages of 5, 10, 15, 20 years to wear a dress.
The ones that do, with the marriages that ended, well you might as well go all the way and transition.
I see happy couples here and a lot of ended marriages, I feel the women that actually accept us are very far and few, actually bordering on extinction.
Be sure of what you want, and if your are willing to risk your SO, marriage, then go for it.
Me I'd rather sit here in closet than taking a chance of getting my pantied a$$ kicked out the door.
And if I do get caught.....................................HEAVEN HELP ME
Lynda
Last edited by Lyndaloves; 07-22-2012 at 01:35 AM.
My SO told me after 6 months of dating. We were talking on the phone while I was out of town, and I could feel something was wrong. I asked him what was up, but he said he would tell me when I got back in town. He said he wanted to tell me in person. I went off on him...I figured he was going to tell me he had cheated on me or something. So, I was basically telling him that he better tell me at RIGHT THEN on the phone. He kind of just mumbled, "Sometimes, I like to wear women's clothes." I almost laughed...it was just so completely unexpected from what I was assuming. I ended up telling him it wasn't really that weird, and that he shouldn't feel bad about it. When I got back, I was curious....so, I put some clothes out for him. He was kind of staring at me blankly, and I was just expecting him to put them on. Turns out he hadn't really done it that much, so he didn't really know where to start. He's come a long way. I used to do his makeup all of the time, but then I pushed him out of the nest to figure it out on his own. He does a great job...I was no where near his skill at makeup when I had just been doing it for a couple of years. (I guess, it's now three years...)
But, yeah, he just celebrated his birthday. I've pieced together an outfit for him as a present, and we hope to go clubbing soon. I've actually lost a lot of weight...so, I don't actually have any clothes to wear out to a club. I don't even have a pair of shorts that really fit me anymore lol. So, as soon as I can get myself some clothes, we'll be out having some fun. I'm hoping that we'll have a cute picture of us out and about in the next couple of weeks.
Anyway, that's basically the super short version of "our story." There's been a lot that has gone on since he told me three years ago, but that's basically how it all started.
I probably wouldn't have told him that I was bi, or my bi experiences had he not told me his secret....turns out we were both just full of mysteries. And, we still somehow manage to surprise each other...I thought he had figured me out and that I had him figured out a long time ago... I'm continuously surprised, and usually in a good way.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
thank you all for your responses! all very encouraging and honest about whats to come....i myself am not a very patient person, nor am i one to hide anything, which is how it came up last night...she now knows...we were at a party last night and she was wearing a top that i had "borrowed" from her the other morning to walk around the house in before work. She asked me waht i was thinking at a party we were at and I told her i would tell her later. hoping she would eventually forget about it...she didnt...we got home and were getting in bed and she asked me...and i told her...i told her that i like to wear women's clothes. it was all out there at that point no taking it back. she was as sober as could be i had some drinks but was in no way drunk. i started breathing hard and shaking a little bit. i didnt know what was to come next, i was terrified and she could tell. she instantly started rubbing my back and asked me questions.
are you gay or bi?
no im not, i am completely straight and completely in love with you
when did it start?
my sister used to dress me up when i was little and its been happening since then...
is this something you have told past girlfriends or do a lot of people know?
no you are the first person i am talking to about this other than a therapist
why do you think you do it?
i really dont know, it just something i like. i like wearing girls clothes.
do you want to be a girl?
no i dont, i like being a guy. i am a guy i dont feel like a girl i just like wearing womens clothes
the questions somewhat continued but the conversation slowed a bit...i told her thast i was terrified of her knowing and that i was so scared to tell her. she said everything was fine and to just calm down. last night went better than i ever could have imagined...now for the morning..shes still asleep and i am awake...not sure what to excpet how to act or how she is going to act...
thank you all again for your stories and encourgement. i will keep you updated. hell i may even have a couple pictures to share...hopefully...
Here are some ideas you should think about:
Be honest, lying or misleading her will only hurt things in the long run.
Go slowly, don't overload her is she has no idea of your dressing.
Point out some benefites for her.
Make some compromise or do something for her.
Above all, tell her. If you are like most of us, these feelings you have about dressing won't go away.
Thats right ,,,lol,,,, Appeal to THERE GREED ,,,LOL,,,, Works everytime ,, Hey ,,, Wanta go shopping ? I ghot a bunch of $$$$ I know you like Jewelry ,, So do I ,,, Lets go ,,,,,, Its all on me !!!
Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,
I told my Wife a long time ago, she had a very stressful job in the Emergency Room at our local hospital. It was easy to see the stress was getting to her, so I came up with a plan.
Since I arrived home more than two hours before her, I began trying to ease her work load and lower her stress level. I began by doing the laundry, then soon was dusting and cleaning our home ( all dressed as Danielle, but changing just before she arrived of course) . She was impressed and grateful to say the least.
It wasn't long before i was meeting her at the door with a drink, and giving foot or back rubs while supper was cooking. Then one evening she look at me across the kitchen table, and spoke those fateful words " You know Dani, you'd make some woman a wonderful Wife"............. To which I replied “meet me on the sofa, while I fix you a drink........There is something I want to tell you" The rest as they say is history!
Danielle
Last edited by Danielle Gee; 07-22-2012 at 09:21 AM.
Hi there
I suggest you read the link in my signature on "how to tell your partner".
I was lucky but it would have been much easier had I had this information to read first.
I hope it all goes well for you
I told my girlfriend Kendra when I was 13 or 14 when we friends at first.She was shocked at first and accepted it right away.She saw my closet was always closed when she came over,I told her I like to wear girl's clothing and I revealed some of the clothing including wigs after opening the closet up.Then it was my underwear drawer revealing my bras and panties,my earrings.She was shocked and knew to accept it.It was the next day she saw me dressed as my female side I dress fulltime as now,she said I looked good dressed as a girl
She has been incredible understanding and accepting.ore than I could ever ask or hope for. Still a ton of question on both ends...it's just the start and it's great!
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