Trying to accept that I am a transsexual

[steph1964]

I think this is very wise. Transition is a huge step, especially if you've only been out dressed a few times in TG-safe venues.

Also, I'm concerned about your therapists' statements. The red flag for me is that she said that she knew you were TS after only a few sessions. I didn't know that therapists could determine this. I also don't know how any therapist can say this until you've had a lot more real life experiences under your belt (enough to have gotten over the novelty) where you and your therapist would have had the opportunity to explore your actual experiences more fully.

Please understand that I'm not making a judgment on whether you are TS or not. Only you can determine this. But it might be worth your while to seek a second opinion sometime in the future while you get the depression under control and you begin going out into the mainstream (alone or just with Angies ... not with TG support groups) on a regular basis? I'm not sure what your work situation is, you do risk your marriage, so you don't want to leave any stones unturned. In the meantime, it will be important to actually go out there (a lot) to see how it feels to be yourself?

I wish you and Angies all the best as you meander through all of this.

Reine, I appreciate your concern for Angie and me. Maybe I am wrong but my understanding of the difference between being a crossdresser and being transsexual is having GID. I was under the impression, from reading here and other places, that you were transsexual whether or not you had taken any physical steps (HRT etc.) if you felt that your outsides and insides didn’t match. My counselor has a lot of experience in gender counseling and her comments were based on what I had told her during my sessions. It was very apparent to her that I had GID early on, and this is based on years of experience, working with many clients. But she didn’t say anything to me about it until a year later when I told her that I thought that I was transsexual.

As far as real life experience, this revelation actually happened before I went out so it wasn’t caused by the novelty. Angie was against me going out in public but after I reached this point, it was a compromise that we made in order for me to try to find a place where we could both be happy. I am well aware of what I stand to lose which makes it all the more difficult to understand why these feelings are so strong. I posted in this section because I have read many other posts in the past where others have gone through exactly what I am going through now.

Yuppers. But the thing is, we can't do anything about it. So all the fighting and searching for answers is just a waste of time. The sooner we can accept who we are and move on to figure out what we need to do to survive, the better.

If Angie and I knew for certain that this would be the outcome, we have both said that we would want to move on with our lives and not prolong the inevitable. But we have decided to give it some time because neither of us wants to accept this. I have read many of your posts Bree and I have a lot of respect for your opinion, but I am hoping that you are wrong in this case.