Will I be ok?

[Gemma Rhodes]

Hi Girls,

My femme life is growing every day and I would really like to go shopping en femme. I am tentatively planning a trip to an out of town shopping mall at the weekend but Im a bit worried.

Most of you have seen my pics over the last few weeks so as long as I can walk the walk so to say and don't really speak to much, will I be ok. Im just a bit worried that as soon as I step out ofthe car I will stick out like a sore thumb as a CDer. I am 6' tall but Im planning on wearing my flats.

Gemma xx

PS Please be honest, don't just humour me.

[TGMarla]

I'm no one to talk, as you are taking a step that I never have...yet. But I think it's safe to say that YOU stick out like a sore thumb to yourself, because YOU know who and what you are. That doesn't mean that everyone else does. YOU may feel like a guy in drag, and see the "guy in a dress", but that doesn't mean everyone else does.

Even if you feel that you make an ugly chick, think about how many women you encounter each day that aren't much to look at. You're probably miles in front of them, so why worry?

You go, g'friend! And may it be a great experience for you!

[mand]

Hello Gemma The simple reply to you're question is ............Yes, I'm sure you'll be fine

Generally people are usually simply not intrested/bothered in seeing a TG and to those that are, we are usually a two second diversion to them.
Some people will read you and some won't, some will call you "Miss/Madam", some will call you "Sir/Mate". You may even meet some who will say not so nice thing's, Just be ready for any reaction

However the majority of the time people will just ignore you and pay no attention whatsoever.

Honestly Gemma just keep you're nerve and you will be fine..............promise


love mand xxx

[Jamie M]

I really hate to do this as i know that it's so not the reply you are looking for but honestly , the only person who can tell if you are ready to go out is you . I would like to tell you that no-one will even notice and this may well be the case but in my past experiences there will alwys be someone who does notice . What makes the difference is how you think that you'll be able to cope with that . If you think that you will be able to just shrug it off and continue then i'd say you're more than ready .

If what you are really asking is , do i look like i have a big banner over my head saying poke me and make fun of me , then no i honestly don't think you'll stick out like that . As long as you can be yourself with an air of "i'm me and i don't care" then the chances are that nobody will take a second glance.

I guess what i'm trying to say is how you act will have more of an affect on how people treat you than how you look .

I hope this doesn't at all put you off going out , after all it's only my opinion and then again i haven't been out for years anyway , so what do i know ?

[Kimberly]

If you're worried, then don't go out trying to be a GG - be a TG!! I mean, people should be able to deal with it, right?? And even if you get the odd look - at least they're not beating you up. Will you be on your own?? I would advise going with a GG friend, just in case!!

I was thinking of getting a fem top that I would put onto it: "If you haven't worked it out already... I'm transgender!" Fun, huh??

Hope it goes ok. xx

[Gemma Rhodes]

It will depend how I feel when I get ready on Sunday morning. When I am in drab and look in the mirror I see this guy who I am beginning to hate more and more each day as my femme side gets stronger. When Im dressed I see ME, Gemma. Sometimes I feel great and want to take on the world, throw the doors open and scream at the top of my voice, "this is me, like it or lump it". Another time I feel really down as the reality of this dawns about how much this will effect my life if I do "come out". I honestly can't go on like this for much longer and as I said before I am making arrangments to see a gender counsellor, so it really depends which Gemma gets dressed on Sunday, either the "get up and go" Gemma who doesn't give a damn or the "sensible" Gemma who will worry about what the future holds.

And Kimberley, I will be on my own yes as none of my friends or family know yet.

Gemma xx

[HaleyPink2000]

Gemma:

To answer your question Hun. I am no beauty queen by no means. I live in Red Neck Ville, Central Illinois. No one even gives a glance when I shop for women's clothing. Also Hun, would I care if they did. No! So what if they do look twice at you, is that a girl or not, Might they be thinking. Haven't you asked yourself that before of Born Females you have seen.

Tell you a story, of last week. I did go to a stage play with 4 other CD's and their SO's. My wife did opt out, as She hates the CDing culture. It was a nice sit down dinner and then a drive across town to the play. One of the CD's with me with heels on is like 6foot 5 with heels on. She has a wonderfully large chest I would love to have. But anyway She is defiantly sticking out in the front end if you know what I mean. OK, I go with her to the rest room area and She waits till the show starts up again just after intermission to go into the ladies room when no one is using it. I waited outside, me in drab male attire. This was just a proper thing to do for a female anyway, correct?
She came out and we did sit down again and watch the show. She is as I said a very tall and busty lady CD. With Her own hair mind you. I had a nice time and there was never one problem. Not in the theater or at dinner!

Ok, So I have to tell you Gemma, I go out and try on clothing all the time dressed as a male. I try on dresses, slips, heels what ever I want. I'm buying them so shouldn't I make sure they are going to fit?

In the car I wear en femme clothing when I want. It's like
my house, " It's mine, I live there".

Enough said Hun. You go have fun. No one will bother you most likely.
As the others have told you, If Your Worried Take Some One With You!

Love to you Hun, be talking to you on the IM thingy.

Haley

[Charlene Marie]

Gemma Rhodes,
Hi Gemma, I just read your post and had to respond. You'll be all right, the first time is a mind blower. I've been stepping out for over twenty years and I still get nervous.

I have only seen two of your pics, but let me make this suggestion if I may.
I assume the weather in the U.K. is cool now, so I wouldn't wear sleevless tops. Besides your arms, like mine are too muscular to display.
Your wig seems to be to high up on your forehead. Heres a trick to find where your natural hairline should be.
If you are right handed, take your left hand with the fingers close togeather like a salute. Place your hand on your forehead with the little finger resting right on the eyebrow, put a little dot in the center of your forehead right on the top(index) finger. That is where your natural hairline should be. Just place the wig with the front edge right on that dot.
I'd like to see the hair a little more fluffy, with a little height to it. If you can put some rollers in it when its wet, try that. If not, bend over with the wig on andfluff the hair out on the top. While bent over, spray a little hairspray on the top, wait a minute and throw your head back.You can flatten it out a bit if it's too much with a vent brush.And forget the part, and comb a full bang. If you have some long hairs hanging down in front of your eyes, just cut them straight across at your eyebrow level.
Hope that helps.

[erica12b]

call ahead ask the store if they have a prefrance , first then make your plan , i have never steped out side yet, but dont spring it on the ones that work there

[Kimberly]

It will depend how I feel when I get ready on Sunday morning. When I am in drab and look in the mirror I see this guy who I am beginning to hate more and more each day as my femme side gets stronger. When Im dressed I see ME, Gemma. Sometimes I feel great and want to take on the world, throw the doors open and scream at the top of my voice, "this is me, like it or lump it". Another time I feel really down as the reality of this dawns about how much this will effect my life if I do "come out". I honestly can't go on like this for much longer...

Oh, hunny, I'm in the same position. My coming out will impact my life so much... but I can't go on for much longer.

Drop me a PM if you wanna talk xx

[Phoebe Reece]

Gemma, I have been out and about with other CD's who are not half as "passable" as you. Looks are not nearly as important as attitude. When you go shopping, you need to go into the mall or the shop with a feeling that you have as much right to be there as any other customer. Chest out, back straight, and a confident femme smile will get you treatment as a lady by almost everyone you see. I go out myself expecting a lot of people to "read" me as a CD, and then get surprised when not many do or at least show no visible sign that they do. I make a fairly large woman and definitely stand out in a crowd. But, except for the size, I generally look and act the part of a woman, so that is how I am treated. Go for it Gemma. You can do it.

[KathrynW]

I think it's mainly about self confidence aka attitude. Admittedly, I don't have it myself, but this is what I've heard.
I'd also say your locale has a lot to do with going out in public. If you're in a big city, your chances of being harassed are a lot less than if you're in a more rural area.