Have you ever been humiliated by female Sales Assistants when shopping?

[Clorissa]

The Sales Assistants have always been very helpful. My wife and I do most of our shopping together at the RAK in S.F. As usual, I’m the only guy there actively going through the racks looking for good quality clothes at a good price. It’s fun. I come nowhere close to wearing woman’s clothes as my shoulders are too wide. Even in the Men’s upstairs, it’s the largest shirts that fit a size 17 neck. So I don’t even try this en femme. But when I see some sexy curvy jeans on sale, I pick these up for me, as my waist fits a size 12. There is always a good selection of these in the woman’s racks. My wife also goes through the men’s clothes upstairs for good cotton/ wool shirts for her at a better price than downstairs.

We’re both looking for cotton or wool clothes well stitched with a nice style, and in a decent color. The RAK mostly has pinks, bright reds, violets, and other off colors removed from the main stores for lack of interest. But sometimes, you can find a good quality garment in a decent color. It just takes some looking. By the woman. And me too. The jackets at the RAK are very good quality also. Some good leather ones. I’ve picked out some nice leather purses at a good price. Just takes some looking. When asking a sales assistant for a particular brand or style, they recognize some familiarity with good quality and respect that. And they respect your credit cards too. So they have always been very helpful. When I look up to take a break going through the racks, I see long hair and purses over shoulders. And then there is me. I really enjoy it. Helps keep intimacy in a marriage. The men can be found mostly sitting in chairs near the walls

[Cheryl T]

Nothing but positive experiences for me. Especially at Dress Barn...

[BethCD]

You make a very good point Eryn. But we should also take the route Dragdoll did ant contact management as far up the ladder as necessary, I think.

Beth

[Stephenie S]

Well yes, I have been shabbily treated at a our local Chico's store. It had nothing to do with crossdressing, I think, but just an impolite SA.

I have always bought my pants at Fashion Bug as they are inexpensive and sized for larger women, which I am. Last year I went into Chico's on a whim and tried on some pants. I found a pair that fit beautifully. I was amazed. They fit like the proverbial glove. But they cost almost $100. I bought a pair anyway and just loved them. I liked them so much that I saved up for two more pairs. When I went back to buy two more pairs (almost $200, right?) the SA tried to make me feel like a fool for wanting winter pants in the summer. Sheesh! I just wanted the pants. I didn't know they had a season, and she had no right to make fun of my ignorance.

I complained to corporate, but they were not that interested. I will never shop Chico's again. Too bad, as the pants were wonderful, and they lost a customer.

Stephie

[Vanessa Storrs]

A few sales associates have kidded me about my purchases but never in a hostile way. I think that the poor sales associates have received more humiliation from me than they have given. I brought a women's sweater to a register once and the cashier commented that it was a very pretty sweater, I replied that I had a cute little skirt it would go well with. She turned a brighter shade of red than the sweater.

[Sarasometimes]

Once in a DSW the cashier asked "So are these shoes really for your wife?" (visable wedding band and loud enough for others to hear) I simply replied "No these are for me, but I DO also buy shoes for her as well as bras, panties and even swimwear. Any other questions? I be happy to answer them. She just turned a bit pink, bagged them and thanked me.

[JeanneF]

The closest I've ever come to having an issue was at and Ann Taylor Loft store at the mall once. The fitting rooms weren't really conducive to a guy using it, so the manager let me try on a couple of outfits using the employee restroom instead. It was a little awkward having her make a big deal of it, but I could tell she was trying to be helpful.

Other than that, I've never had an issue, whether it's trying on shoes in a higher end store (where the SA has to get them for you) or clothing. Most SAs that I've met seem to get a kick out of helping a guy buy cute stuff.

[ME2.0]

I've had some strange looks, I like to buy feminine shaving creams instead of the Gillette or Barbasol, so when I put 2 cans of Pure Silk on the counter, some times they look. I just act as if I hadn't noticed and ask "How much did it come to?" I've actually had helpful people in a couple stores that helped me out with sizing and trying things on. When you find people like that, give their store extra patronage.

Hugs,
Staci

[heatherdress]

No. 99% of the time, they don't care, they don't say a word.

[donnalee]

It has been my experience, to date, that SA's tend to be more curious. If I go into a place that I haven't been too before I usually get questions like; "Where do you perform?" And stuff like that.
Now I have had several bad experiences with other customers and in this example it was the owner who backed me up and I now work for her every spring at the Renaissance Faire. I was trying on a full womens costume (bodice, chemise, two skirts and bloomers) when a male customer in the leather part of the booth loudly stated he wasn't going to be buying anything if they were going to let faggots try on womens clothing. I have thick skin so it didn't faze me, but to the booth owners credit she stopped helping me and whirled on the man and said, "That's okay because your money is now worthless here, get the f**k out of my booth before I call security." . . . I've worked for her for the last three years. :-)

Edit: It makes me smile because this woman is less than five feet tall and the idot was about as tall as me. Shoulda seen the way he tucked tail and ran.

She sounds like a great person.
If you can do nothing else, never give them an inch. The area where I live is touted as maybe the most accepting in the country, but there are plenty of people here so insulated they might as well be back in the Bible Belt and view anyone with different lives as evil or next to it. This is the hiring pool for most of Walmat, K-Mart, Target and other chain stores; minimum wage, even at $10/hour, is not enough to live on, so these jobs go to the least qualified among us. There are a lot of dropouts hired, their only education beyond the rudimentary is the Sunday service. It really is very sad.
The only hassles I've experienced here is from that type of salesperson; don't let them run you off, just quietly but firmly insist on seeing their manager then explain to him/her what has happened; if that doesn't work, keep climbing up the management ladder, to corporate if necessary. Get names, times and what was said as much as possible. Most of these companies have non-discrimination policies and websites that list them, as well as who to contact.
Don't get mad, get even.

[Leslie Langford]

I've never had a negative experience shopping for clothes in women's stores whether en femme or in drab. If anything, I find that the SA's seem to bend over backwards when I shop in "Leslie" mode - especially if I am likely "read". I guess the curiosity factor then kicks in, and I invariably get the rock star treatment. In fact, sometimes I even have more than one SA join in to help me out for probably much the same reason. This used to unnerve me, but now I just go with the flow and enjoy the experience.

And for those who are still skittish about shopping openly for women's clothing, realize that "the times, they are 'a changin'" as Bob Dylan used to say, we are much more a part of the landscape than ever before, and stores are starting to adjust to this new reality. Just look at this exchange of letters to the Long Tall Sally community forum on their website regarding their transgender shopping policies, and you will see what I mean:

http://community.longtallsally.com/f...pic.php?id=871

Women are far more at ease shopping for themselves in the men's sections of stores than we are, and we have much to learn from them. Just yesterday, I read a review of one of the Toronto-area H&M stores by Toronto Star fashion columnist Rita Zekas in which she makes the following statement:

"I take the escalator down to the men’s area, where mustard yellow reigns. Mustard skinnies are $29.95; mustard boating shoes are very cool and only $34.95.

There is a pale-pink Miami Vice suit for $129.95 and a grey-and-black Beatles jacket for $79.95.

I am a sucker for seersucker: a jacket is $129 and matching shorts are $39.95.

I regularly shop in the men’s department. Sadly, men’s shorts fit me better. So do shirts and hats."


http://www.thestar.com/living/shoppi...ordable-prices

Hopefully, the day will soon come when men can talk openly about shopping for themselves in the women's sections of stores with equal ease, and with no fear of a negative backlash either...

[linda allen]

Just once in Walmart, (last time I will ever buy from them ever)
I was trying four different pair denim Levies for fit,one was just right
as I returned the outer pair the sale's lady said your buying lady's jeans? with a vary nasty look on her face!

Your reply could have been "Yes I am buying lady's jeans. They fit me much better than the men's jeans you sell."

Straight face, matter of fact, like you have said it a hundred times before.

[linda allen]

Once about 15 to 18 years ago in Fashion Bug brought a dress in drab attire took it home and had to exchange it the next day and the sales associate made a remark that she hope it fits this time. ...........

And your response should have been "So do I. It's a real pain having to drive back here each time."

The point is, she doesn't know if you are kidding or telling the truth, but she can't ask.

[Joan_CD]

Before I started shopping in female attire I had an SA make a remark as I was looking at tops. She saw me holding one up against me to see if it fit and she said in a disapproving tone... "the men's section is over there". I stared at her with my eyes a little narrowed and looking right into her face I said "and?". She looked down and walked away. Confidence is the key. Now as I only shop in female attire I never have an issue.

[May(be)]

I was out, my first time en femme (so my mastery of the illusion was not where it is now). I was returning a pair of shoes that were far too small. The cashier was having trouble processing the return, for whatever reason, and had to call over her manager- a male. She was explaining the problem, far too loudly for my comfort, to her manager and she proclaimed "I need help returning his shoes". It wasn't said with malice and I don't think she knew how to refer to a man dressed like me, trying to present as a woman. I don't think she meant to use the masculine pronoun and looked at me apologetically as soon as she did.

All I could say when my "secret" was spilled was "Don't worry, it's not the first time someone has called me a guy."

[Julia Stevens]

I shop at second hand charity shops and have had mainly good experiences. I have had a couple of bad ones, but I just stopped using those shops. I have been told that the skirt and boots I had just tried on would look good on me (I have never shopped in female mode). I have also have also had other compliments about the choice of outfit I was buying, and have never had a problem when I have asked to try something on. It feels really nice to get positive feedback and acceptance, although I also feel a bit shocked when they are so direct.

There was one volunteer assistant in a charity shop who asked me was the top I was buying a Valentine present. I said no it was for me (I felt brave that day). She then asked me what I was going to wear with it, and suggested trousers. She then asked me what was my bum like. I said "Errrrr." She walked round me, slapped me on the side of my bum and said something, I can't remember what, but something complementary anyway. I felt she was a bit over enthusiastic! Would she have slapped a womans bum? Probably not (but then maybe she would, who knows).