Prom... should I??

[Kimberly]

Okay... College have a prom on... I didn't want to go in the first place, thinking it would be incredibly institutionalised and all that b*llsh*t that I really don't buy into... But then I said something today, well, asked... and the response astounded me:

My english class were talking about the formal, and I'm the only boy... so the talk was about dresses, who's going with who etc. And I said I wasn't going.

Shock horror. I wasn't going... everyone goes!! Truth be told, I'd much rather just go on a night out and get drunk and have a good laugh, but a lot of people are annoyed I'm not going. (Damned peer pressure.) So... people jokingly said that I should take our, male, english teacher. We laughed, so I said, "Who'd wear the dress?" Laughter etc... Then people said I should - my hair is longer and I have a better figure.

So I asked, "What would you seriously do if I actually came in a dress?"
The response: "It would be funny for about half an hour, then the novalty would wear off and we'd all just have a good time!"

Oh my god.... this could be way out of these damned male clothes!! And, I mean... it's a fantasy of many of you girls', isn't it?? To go to your high school/college prom dressed up and dolled up to the nines!

I can't believe it, I'm actually thinking about it, and that night come out about myself to everyone. Should I, girls?? Should I... seriously??

(I'm shaking even thinking about it.) xx

[mand]

Kimberly ............I don't know if I'm right or wrong in saying this but...............yes If you feel you can do it, then do it

You only live the once love and it seems like this is you're oppurtunity.


love mand xxx

[Sazzle]

Personally, I wouldn't. But then I am a scaredy cat!

if you think you could, go for it!

[Jamie M]

well on the face of it , it would seem like an ideal opportunity . But just think for a moment . how would it really be ? okay so these gg in your class seem okay with it but they won't be the only one's there i take it ? Would i also be right in thinking that there would be quite a few hyped up college boys ( i would say men but boys sounds more accurate ) looking for fun and a laugh maybe even trouble if my proms were anything to go by .

hmmm , to me this seems like a recipe for trouble . i could be entirely wrong of course but it seems like a massive risk for you to take . Would it be a better idea to talk to these girls before hand and actually tell what you're thinking and go from there ?

[Kimberly]

Would i also be right in thinking that there would be quite a few hyped up college boys ( i would say men but boys sounds more accurate ) looking for fun and a laugh maybe even trouble if my proms were anything to go by .

hmmm , to me this seems like a recipe for trouble . i could be entirely wrong of course but it seems like a massive risk for you to take .

If they beat me up then they'd be kicked out of college and they wouldn't get any A levels is my best guess...

I'm asking GG friends who know about Kimberly how they feel about it. I'm getting some enthusiasm, but I'm kinda sceptical myself. Hmm.... ARGH!

xx

[Jamie M]

If they beat me up then they'd be kicked out of college and they wouldn't get any A levels is my best guess...

Fair comment , but in my experience that never stopped them at my college and in the mean time you're still beaten up was i the only one who went to a S*** tip of a college then

i'm not saying don't do it at all , just that i'd be a bit wary before jumping in with both feet but then again like sazzle said , i'm totally a scaredy cat too

[mand]

Kimberly Just a thought (I hope I'm understanding things right), would it be possible to enroll some of the girls out of you're class into helping you out getting ready for the night.....................it could possibly make things easier


love mand xxx

[Kimberly]

Kimberly Just a thought (I hope I'm understanding things right), would it be possible to enroll some of the girls out of you're class into helping you out getting ready for the night.....................it could possibly make things easier


love mand xxx

Yes, it would.... I have a few GG friends there who know about me, so would be able to help me as much as possible.

[mand]

That's what I was thinking Kimberly, the more people helping you out, then the more support you will get from them
The more support you have the easier it will be, hopefully the girls will be possitvely encouraging you because they won't want to see you fail


Anyway love if you do decide to go for it, you have to tell us all about it

love mand xxx

[Stephanie Brooks]

Very cool Kimberly!

However, I go along with the cautious ones. Especially with a prom, you're talking about something that's VERY male/female oriented. Men wear tuxes and look like MEN. Women wear gowns and look like WOMEN. Proms are very much about social customs and sexuality. I don't know about the people at your college, but I wouldn't care to make myself an affront to a bunch of guys who expect that only biological women will be in dresses.

It makes for a great fantasy, but the reality carries more risk than I'd be willing to bear. Oh but to do it... <*sigh*>

I wish you the best on making a decision. Whatever you do will be the right one. Good luck! ^_^

[TGMarla]

Hey, look, if you're going "with" the English teacher, tell him you are a bit uncomfortable about the whole thing. Keep it light. This way, if the situation turns sour, you can bail safely. Everything we do is an action in search of a payoff of some kind or another. In this case, the payoff could be really great. Just keep a good avenue for retreat, and you'll be okay. Not everyone get such a chance. It's your decision, but if it were me, and the circumstances were the same, I might just jump at the chance.

[erica12b]

plan a out, an exit if thing get tight, and have more than one ,proper planing prevents poor preformance.. think it all thru then do it

[Kimberly]

ugh.... I want to do this so badly, but you're all right - there are significant risks involved. The college I go to is quite right wing in its ways... Sixth form attached to a boarding school. There's a gay head of sixth form, but that's as far as things have gone.

The problems that are apparent are as follows:

1) I may not be allowed to attend wearing a dress - it would offend those attending and the spirit of the occassion. I could appeal about this, and say that I am transgendered, therefore they have to let me attend wearing a dress... otherwise its sexual discrimination. Well, frankly, I don't consider myself transgendered, and haven't transitioned in the way that means I live even part of my life as a woman.

2) Jocks... There are typical matcho, rugby players there, who probably think that only GGs should be in dresses. If I went, i'd be ridiculed and laughed at... Not anything I'd wish on any CD/TG... but I want to make a point! (Just read my post on wednesday.)

3) People would see it as a joke, and that wouldn't be what I would want at all... I think with this situation, and with me, it's either, "I'm wearing a dress because I'm a crossdresser," or nothing. I don't want to be a 'guy in a dress'.

4) It would ruin what little fun I currently have at college. I'd be labelled the crossdressing weirdo etc... and my existance there would become unbarable. (It virtually is at the moment... i hate it.)

My GG friends think this would be a cool thing - it's prooving a point to those tunnel-visioned-society jock f***whits. But then again, they don't have to live with the consequences of doing this.


Something I should probably consider as well, is not what was actually said in my english lesson today, but what wasn't said, and by whom. If you think about it - only one girl actually replied to my question. The other 3 in the conversation, (not counting my friend who knows), could have thought "Oh my god, you freak..." I just don't know.

It's hard to tell what the general consensus would be. Whether people would laugh along with me, or whether i'd be ridiculed for doing such a sacrisanct thing!

Uugh... the agony of choice. It's either do it now - or do it in a couple of years... There's bound to be another social event like this somewhere, sometime in my life.

Thanks for your responses, girls. xx

[Amelia Moxon]

Kim hun this is a dilemma isn't it, well all I can say is go with what you want not what everyone else wants, If you want to go to the prom in a dress then do it, (Take some pics if you do) don't take any notice of the jocks/chav’s/scum bags or whatever else, be yourself.
They can't refuse to let you in to do so would be discrimination, and I believe an infringement of human rights.
Jocks will take the mickey, cos they take the mickey out of everything that isn't a jock or doesn't conform to what they want you can't help who you are, they can't and mostly won't accept it because it is they who are embarrassed about seeing a guy made up to look like a pretty girl, and don't know how to react. Ignore them; if you live your life in a shell then you'll never be able to do what you want. I'm kinda glad my parents found out, cos even though they hate me dressing up, it means I can now do things like my trip to Manchester on Saturday, (yay) or go out, I couldn't do that before as there would be too many questions, like what’s in the hold all etc. So do what you want to hun, shine, be yourself.

Hugs
Amelia xxx

[sandra_lag]

Kimberly, I, personally, wouldn&#180;t do it. It&#180;s too risky for your phisical and/or psichical integrity, but I saw you have think a lot about it and have get the pros and cons.

But if you decide finally going in dress.... we want photos !!!!!!!!!!!!

[Phoebe Reece]

Kimberly,

This one is certainly a tough choice. It will likely be something to remember for your entire lifetime if you do it. If you don't you will always be wondering "what if I had...."

I have to lean more towards doing it than not. However, I suggest if you do it, you not go in the company of your English teacher, unless you want to be branded as gay. The only way to do it would be to solicit not only your GG friends to help picking out the gown, but to also do your makeup for you, and have several of them on each arm when you enter the ballroom. The jocks may sneer at you, but you will be the one with the most girls in tow and that may actually earn you some respect with them. You don't have to tell anyone you are doing it for a joke or that you are doing it because you are transgendered. You can simply wink, smile, and say that it got you a lot of fun attention from some of the girls. They may then think this to be part of a scheme to bed a few of the beauties. That sort of thing is always OK with the jocks....

[Wendy me]

sometimes what you would like to do and what you can or should are diffrent but the time comes and you don't need to ask or think abought it then you know it the right thing to do .....

[Pamela girl]

One thing you could do is to go along with the ideal and get them to do a test run a few days or a week before prom and get all gussied up, tell the girls you want to see the full efect before you decide. go all out makup, wig, nails, ect. See what kind of mood there is with it. Then if you don't go to prom like that you still would have had one heck of a good time dressing up with the girls. You might even be able to as a bonus ask if they think you could pass and get them to help you with somthing more than a prom dress. You might even be lucky enough for someone to bring up the Ideal of running out to get a bite to eat and when you mention "It's going to take me a while to change and get this makup off" Who knows they may say "oh just go like that"
Anyway after that you migh be more able to make up your mind, and if you decide not to go you still would have had a great time

[Kimberly]

oh, I wouldn't be going with my english teacher - I was thinking of asking a friend who hasn't got a partner yet.

Just to make that clear xx

[Julie York]

Don't do it.






However! Plan B:-
Go in drab. Put dressy up stuff in a bag somewhere. Then if the situation arises sneak off and dress up then TADAA!

Now the thing is...YOU might be seeing yourself as all girly...everyone else might be seeing you as a guy in a dress having a laugh. Does it matter?

You'll become that famous eccentric guy who dared to be so outragious, with no come back other than....wow...

[Kimberly]

Now the thing is...YOU might be seeing yourself as all girly...everyone else might be seeing you as a guy in a dress having a laugh. Does it matter?

You'll become that famous eccentric guy who dared to be so outragious, with no come back other than....wow...

I'm confused... you don't want me to do it? But you make a good arguement FOR doing it.

[swiss_susan]

Kimberly,

Yes it sounds like fun and in a controlled environment. If you really want to do this I would suggest checking with someone at the college if you would be allowed to attend.

As to some of your concerns, yes in all likleyhood someone or many may ridicule you. And the after effects will likley include people at school calling you a freak and all the rest of that crap.

Oh and remember some of us macho rugby playing jocks likes our dresses and panties too. lol

It is a tough one that you will have to decide for yourself really.

sorry I couldn't be more helpful,

Susan

[Adele 2005]

Hi Kimberly,

You're young but appear to be very sensible, and it sounds like the girls in your class could be supportive. Whether you go to the dance or not, at least you've learnt that you've got some very good friends you can depend on. That at least should make you happy and give you something to build upon in the future. Friendships take work to maintain, and open-minded friends like that will be so important to keep.

So, why not ask their honest opinion? They know about you and your college better than any of us. Just tell them that you'd love to play along with their idea and go as a female, but spell out your worries and concerns about it, as you have here, and ask them what they would honestly do if they were you.

If you really think that you'll be in personal danger of attack at the the dance, why not say it's an idea you still want to do, but suggest a different date and venue where you can expect an accepting/less threatening environment? Perhaps there's a pub or club you could suggest that's known to have a gay clientele, which may feel less threatening? It may not be as glamourous as a 'Prom' (whatever happened to the plain old 'School Disco', eh?!) but at least you'll feel more relaxed and it will be on your terms, rather than feeling pushed into doing what the other girls want to do... although wearing a ballgown and tiara for the pub or club may look a bit overstated!

Remember, it's the people that make a good party, not the place!

Whatever you decide, good luck and enjoy yourself.

[Julie York]

I'm confused... you don't want me to do it? But you make a good arguement FOR doing it.

Yes. Don't do it . It's a bad idea and your gut instinct it telling you that is HUGE letters.


However, if you DO want to do it and get away with it...I gave you a plan B.


But if you seriously want to go to a Prom dance, dressed in a ballgown and be "free to be you" then you have more courage than most sane folk.

It's a nice idea. But it isn't a good one.

[Kimberly]

although wearing a ballgown and tiara for the pub or club may look a bit overstated!

Funnily enough - I met up with a friend of mine to go shopping, (fem stuff for me), and she told me she half expected me to turn up in a long evening dress.

Too bad I was in drab, eh?