I feel trapped!

[femaletrouble]

Hi, so its like this im a single man who lives alone i can dress to my hearts content except when i have to go down my elderly parents house which is ever day to do the shoppin an cookin an the odd bit of gardenin, then i get home throw off my drab male clothes an then drape myself in the clothes id like to wear full time if circumstance would allow it. now on to my main question- i suffer quite badly with social anxeity an to top it im unable to drive a car an thus i am stuck in my tiny rented house i would so love to take a drive out in the evenin an have a walk in my female clothes but that is as you see is a very big hurdle even the road i live in is very observant an i darent risk even walkin round the block late at night in case i was reconized. but on one final note i feel safer at home but on the oppsite side of the coin i would love to venture out. anybody else have this problem.

[Jolene Robertson]

Hi back to you. I can sympathize with you, I'm not as boxed in as you (that sucks) I do drive and can get away, just have to change after I'm away from home. Maybe you can make a connection with a member or two who can help you get out sometime. You need to let us know where you are though. Anyway sorry about your situation and hope it improves.

Hugs
Jolene

[BLUE ORCHID]

Can you go over to the next town and get dressed and go for a walk.

[Cynthia Anne]

Sounds pretty rough! You need to find a friend you can trust! Good luck!

[femaletrouble]

Its difficult confiding in some one who you can meet localy as for goin to another city an changing that a possabilatee but the amount of time travelin by bus with a rucksack and finding a secluded place to change an then doin it in reverse is very challenging so would take more planning it than it is worth all the time an effort

[KlaireLarnia]

Its difficult confiding in some one who you can meet localy as for goin to another city an changing that a possabilatee but the amount of time travelin by bus with a rucksack and finding a secluded place to change an then doin it in reverse is very challenging so would take more planning it than it is worth all the time an effort

Why not book a weekend away somewhere into a hotel. I travel semi-regularly on business and either drive or travel on trains. I have changed in the toilet on the train and enjoyed the journey and hotel in female clothes. Hotel staff will not judge you, they are paid to be polite and respectful - and should always be that. If you had a small hold-all/suitcase you could carry everything you need and enjoy a couple of days relaxing and walking in female clothes out of the way of anyone you know.

I like my time away on business. While I am in male mode for work, going to/from the meetings and while in hotels, I do not have any male clothes on. Work is none the wiser and I am a hell of a lot happier for it.

[Ressie]

Klaire has a great idea. All you need is a cab, credit card, suitcase (maybe 2) and a good reason (parent trap) that you're leaving for a few days. Your parents may need someone else to tend to them for a couple of days or fend for themselves. This is doable, you just have to work out the details.

[TGMarla]

You ARE trapped. You're a prisoner of your own mind, and you should look into some councelling. If you have such anxiety that you can't even drive, then crossdressing is the least of your worries.

[Tina B.]

I have to agree with Marla, you may need help to break out, I understand your fear, but without learning to deal with it, I'm afraid escape may not be in the cards, but with help, who knows how far you could go.
Even for the bold, getting out at first is hard, and scary, for the timid, it could prove to be impossible, so work on that first.
Tina B.

[docrobbysherry]

Thanks, Marla! U took the words rite out of my mouth! I don't see CDing as being your problem, FT.

However, u definitely sound trapped. By your parental situation and the limits you've placed on yourself! Please try to expand your horizons and stretch the walls of your world a little! You'll be AMAZED at what you'll find and feel!

[Rebecca Star]

You ARE trapped. You're a prisoner of your own mind, and you should look into some councelling. If you have such anxiety that you can't even drive, then crossdressing is the least of your worries.

I agree with Marla.

By the sounds of it, your anxiety is ruling your life.


You know you can get medication to ease panic attacks etc...etc which tend to be synonymous with anxiety related issues. I'd suggest speaking with your Dr. I'm sure he/she can prescribe something to take the edge away & refer you to a therapist. Either way living as you are is not living, it's existing, and IMO, that's no way to live life if your unhappy.

[KellyJameson]

I would suggest working on the social anxiety first.

Anxiety is the feeling that you are in danger.

In relation to people there is the threat of physical attack or the threat of an attack on your self by using words or facial expressions (looks of disgust).

Social anxiety is the fear of being harmed in some form.

Anxiety is unpleasant so we fear the experience but anxiety is fear so we than end up fearing fear which builds until it moves from your mind and into your body and this is called a panic attack ( heart palpitations, sweating palms, ect..)

To lessen this experience you first want to become comfortable with the experience of anxiety so you do not fear it happening ( fear of what the next moment will bring)

When you feel the beginning of anxiety find a quiet spot and sit down, close your eyes and try to hear and identify as many sounds as you can, birds singing, ect..

Use all your senses, smell, touch,hearing,taste, ect... to bring the world inside you.

This will take you out of your imagination and put you back into the world.

Anxiety comes from the imagination and the stronger your imagination the greater the chances you will suffer from anxiety.

Your imagination creates stories inside your mind of "what if" but these stories are always about bad things happening.

Anxiety is not your enemy, your mind is not your enemy. You simply are experiencing the power of your imagination. The more powerful your mind the greater the challenge to manage that power.

When you are calm write down all the bad things you think could happen to you when you are with others and you will see they are all the same thing, an attack on you

Life is about developing the confidence of keeping yourself safe and accepting that you will not always be able to, so bad things will happen.

Fear comes from resisting (not accepting) the realities of life and from distorting the actual dangers to us at any moment because we use our imagination to live in the
future so fear the "what if" and feel the imaginary wounds that have not been inflicted yet.

[Tracii G]

Maybe there is a TG support group close you can join and maybe some one can pick you up and take you to the meeting.

[Stephanie47]

I agree with the comments that you are a victim of your own self imposed restrictions. If you are 42 your parents cannot be so old that they cannot care for themselves for several days. I know many elderly people (I'm 65 and do not consider myself elderly at all), who are in their seventies you can do all the described activities without any assistance. If they do need assistance you may wish to contact a social service organization or a church you provides outreach.

At age 42 I am making the assumption you work. Do you not 'commute' to a job? You need to get out of town for a vacation. Further, I have a sister, whose life has been totally ruined by our mother, who has exercised so much control over her life that she has almost no social life, never married, no kids, no grandkids, isolated from nieces and nephews and siblings.

If you cannot break your circumstances, then just realize your en femme time will be limited to your home.

[Badtranny]

Wow, I am stunned yet incredibly happy to see so many CD's trying to actually HELP a sister. I think it was Marla that got off the first shot of honest assessment, and good for you girl. Female trouble has issues way beyond clothes and I hope she does get some help.

[femaletrouble]

Thank you for your kind words an suggestions, yes ive suffered most of my life with social anxiety an has it goes i did go for couseling but it did'nt realy make that much difference im on anti anxiety pills but the lack of self esteem low confidence shyness is so ingrained in my personality that its very debilatating, ive got a few good friends what ive made through couseling an even one friend ive known since school keeps in touch an we go the cinema. but no one knows the true me, i even had a g.g friend who i did confide in once an once i told her she could'nt accept me as a crossdresser. an youre right i dont have a problem dressin its my mind that is so controled by anxiety that me dressin in the privacey of my home is realy the only pleasure i have an enjoy.