Is my wife serious?

[Michelle Crossfire]

All week me and my wife have been kidding around about us going out together as girlfriends. She is not terribly open to the idea unless we go far away. I can understand her position and apprehension. She said when i learn how to walk, talk and act like a b***h, then she will consider it. She wanted a purse at Kohl's, so i offered to buy it for her in exchange for her teaching me. she has not taken the bait too much yet. Anyway, while she goes shopping for me and buys me things for my alter-ego (if you will), she just does not want to go out in public with me yet. So, to my surprise today, she said, why don't you go down to Warren to GNO at the club i read about. Is she serious or just playing with me. It is about a 90 minute drive for me, she does not want to come with me (not yet). I have never been out amongst other people en femme, so the possibilities are amazing. So are the questions. Do i go en femme, or en drab. What to expect, and of course, what to wear. What do you all think?

[Karen_Ski]

Obviously only you can know if she is serious abou it, however it sounds like she is trying to meet you halfway. Don't push the issue of her going out with you, just take what she has offered and let things sort themselves out. As what to wear I would think you would want to go en femme, wouldn't you?

[Beverley Sims]

Just let her keep buying things for you and be grateful for that.
Go to the club en femme by yourself and test the waters.
When she gets used to you going out by yourself she will probably want to accompany you on an outing.
After going out let her ask questions about it and don't be too forthcoming with information as to what you did, without the questions.
She may not want to know the details of your outing so let her ask the questions.
Above all be honest and do not embellish the situation too much.

[Amanda_P]

I believe if you go out you will just be asking for trouble. She will always question what you did even tho you tell her everthing she will still wonder if there was more. As for buying you things and accepting it at home I would wait until she is ready and just go with that. If it is around halloween then the chances are alot better for her to go out with you dressed. There are alot of us that use this day to just put our finest or ****iest or even something casual. I know because thats the only day I have to be out and about.

[WifeofWrenchette]

She may be testing you or she may be serious. The only way for you to find out is to communicate with her. Ask her point blank.

Amanda the Halloween idea is good. That is when my husband is at his finest. We don't get hassled at all when we are out that day.

[Nichola]

Hey guys, forgive my naivety but what does 'GNO' stand for? I've seen it in a couple of threads but don't know that one.

& Crossfire sounds like you have a fun partner, make the most of it

[debbeelee1]

My SO and I have been going to the monthly Girls Night Out (GNO) at the Funky Skunk in Warren for quite some time. We've always had a great time there. It's safe, friendly and a great place to meet other CD'ers! It's always on the 3rd Saturday of every month.

There is a CD friendly hotel a block away that's runs about $90 per night. Why don't you take your wife and make a weekend out of it. Maybe go to the GNO en drab with your wife for the first time just to "interact" with other CD'ers. You could even bring your fem clothes to change into later. Just a thought!

[Beverley Sims]

I believe if you go out you will just be asking for trouble. She will always question what you did even tho you tell her everthing she will still wonder if there was more. As for buying you things and accepting it at home I would wait until she is ready and just go with that.

When I say go out by yourself I am assuming your wife is ok with that otherwise it brings more mistrust onto the scene.

[Cynthia Anne]

Ask her if she is serious! And IF you go, go in feme! Perhaps she can help you in what to wear!

[BRANDYJ]

I like DebbeeLee's suggestion.To go one better, maybe PM DebbeeLee and ask if her and her wife would go with you and kind of make you feel more at ease. Maybe, just maybe your wife will go if she knows she is going there with another GG to interact with and get to know.
I don't think your wife is kidding or testing you. I think she wants a report about the place you. Like are there other GG's there, are they friendly and do you feel it's safe and will I be comfortable there? I get don't get it why someone said not to be forthcoming on what you did there. That is unless you do something you know is wrong, like cheating. I'd tell my SO everything since I would not have anything to hide.
So if you can afford the time and money to go by yourself, I'd go. If you can spend the night, then you don't have to risk a 90 mile drive dressed, if your concern is a breakdown or being pulled over by law enforcement for a blown tail light or something. But if you spend the night, by all means, I'd ask my wife to go, even if she did not want to go into the club this first time and is waiting for your report about what it's like. I also suggest to never push your wife to do anything she is afraid of, uncomfortable with, or otherwise just does not want to be seen in public with a CD. Respect her limits at all times. Let us know how it goes if you go. Good luck.

[Cheryl T]

Talk to her openly and ask if she is serious or just testing you.

As for going out together...the best idea is to go somewhere at least 40-50 miles from your home where you will have a much decreased chance of meeting anyone you know. Both of you will feel more comfortable this way and can enjoy the experience together.

[Michelle Crossfire]

GNO is girls night out. there is a local establishment in warren, ohio that has this at least once a month and i am thinking of checking it out.

Hey guys, forgive my naivety but what does 'GNO' stand for? I've seen it in a couple of threads but don't know that one.

& Crossfire sounds like you have a fun partner, make the most of it

[Tracii G]

My SO and I have been going to the monthly Girls Night Out (GNO) at the Funky Skunk in Warren for quite some time. We've always had a great time there. It's safe, friendly and a great place to meet other CD'ers! It's always on the 3rd Saturday of every month.

There is a CD friendly hotel a block away that's runs about $90 per night. Why don't you take your wife and make a weekend out of it. Maybe go to the GNO en drab with your wife for the first time just to "interact" with other CD'ers. You could even bring your fem clothes to change into later. Just a thought!

This is a great idea you should do it on a Fri night and then go back Sat with her.Make a weekend of it and do some other things too.

[JeanneF]

GNO is Warren is a great time, and I can't think of a better or safer place to go for your first time. It's been years since the last time I attended one (it's about a five hour drive from Cincy), but every one I went to was a blast. Marsha throws a great event.

In my opinion, it would be a good thing to go without the wife for the first time. You're going to be less guarded and more likely to be outgoing and meet some of the other girls. I personally hate attending TG events with the wife...I'm always a little nervous that she'll see or hear something that exceeds the limit of what aspect of the TG lifestyle she's willing/able to accept. Not that at GNO is some crazy night, but I will say that I've had a few times back at the hotel afterwards that my wife would find a bit objectionable (before you judge, any experiences were before we were even dating...I've been a good girl for nearly five years now).

[Lorileah]

She said when i learn how to walk, talk and act like a b***h, then she will consider it.

Really? she said that. When you act like B***h. Really, I would say that she isn't serious at all then because acting like a B is easy. Acting like a human is a lot harder. There is an old saying, when someone in the relationship suggests you go out on your own...it is because they already are. B***h...really?

[linda allen]

I think a married person going out to clubs without their partner, dressed or not is wierd and a sign of a failing relationship.

I say take your wife or don't go. Find a place or event far enough from home that neither of you will be recognized.. Of course, the halloween suggestion is a good one but it's a shame halloween only comes once a year.

[linda allen]

............ I personally hate attending TG events with the wife...I'm always a little nervous that she'll see or hear something that exceeds the limit of what aspect of the TG lifestyle she's willing/able to accept. .

That's a good point and much of the reason I haven't shown my wife this forum. I don't want her assuming things that aren't going to happen.

[JeanneF]

That's a good point and much of the reason I haven't shown my wife this forum. I don't want her assuming things that aren't going to happen.

One of the issues that I've run into with the whole "acceptance" thing is that my wife still occasionally gets concerned that I'm not really happy in my life and what I really want to be is an East Village Drag Queen or something.

During my 20s I definitely spent my share of time living a bi-TG bordering on TS lifestyle...clubbing in Chicago or New York almost every weekend, spending days on end as a girl, etc. She knows about that, but she doesn't realize to what extent I lived that life. That part of me may be a little hard to accept for her, so I don't want to run the risk of exposing her to it now. It's in my past and it's staying there, just like any club girl who grows up, gets married and settles down.

I think a married person going out to clubs without their partner, dressed or not is wierd and a sign of a failing relationship.

I do think that's true, to a point. I've gone to a few GNOs with the local TG support group without the wife, but I definitely wouldn't go clubbing (as a boy or as a girl) without her. I don't think that the Warren GNO qualifies as clubbing. It's a more of a support group that happens to meet at a bar.

[rhonda]

I was just wondering why not try to get her to wear mens clothes then you would be equals

[Stacey Renee]

My wife is the same way, she is wants to go out as girlfriends, but I do not want to do it around here (know to many people), so we are planning a "girlfriend" weekend in Vegas in October...

[Eryn]

...So, to my surprise today, she said, why don't you go down to Warren to GNO at the club i read about. Is she serious or just playing with me

My take on it is that she has found a safe place for you to make your first outing but isn't quite ready to go with you. She is, however, encouraging you to take that first step.

Since it seems that you are likely to have some forum friends to meet at GNO I'd say that it seems like a very good thing to try. When you come back with stories and pictures of the great time you had perhaps she might want to accompany you the next time.

She also might be gauging your resolve to go out. If you have the confidence to do so then she might develop more confidence in going out with you.

I think that it's a good opportunity. My first dressed outing was also over an hour from home and I did go solo as my wife was abroad at the time. It was definitely nervous time, but I did it and had a great time. You will too!

[Michelle Crossfire]

I can confidently say that my SO is not going out on her own. she is at home with me every night and when i am not home, she is calling me from home. We really don't go out much, which is why i am thinking about checking out the GNO. Her saying acting like a b***h was just an expression.

Really? she said that. When you act like B***h. Really, I would say that she isn't serious at all then because acting like a B is easy. Acting like a human is a lot harder. There is an old saying, when someone in the relationship suggests you go out on your own...it is because they already are. B***h...really?

she does not have any and my size is too big for her.

I was just wondering why not try to get her to wear mens clothes then you would be equals

my wife is not yet interested in going out as girlfriends. She says i don't look like a woman due to my frame (6' 250) although she likes the shopping aspect of it when i go with her, en drab, of course, but i still say this gives her a shopping friend.

My wife is the same way, she is wants to go out as girlfriends, but I do not want to do it around here (know to many people), so we are planning a "girlfriend" weekend in Vegas in October...

[Stephanie47]

If your wife is willing to buy you feminine items, I'd say she is not non accepting. I would say she is not comfortable being seen with you en femme. Maybe, she has the same fears many of us endure. The club sounds very tame. If she is unsure of the trust issue (What happens in Warren stays in Warren!), maybe she would go along, but, not go to the club. She could enjoy the stay at the hotel and enjoy shopping or a good book. Decades ago my wife told me to attend a support group, if I wanted to. I never took her up on the OK because my cross dressing is a very private affair.

[Michelle Crossfire]

I have a talk with my wife yesterday, and she is echoing some of what everyone here is saying. She was somewhat serious, thinking that it might "cure the itch" to go out en femme, but also mentioned that it might backfire and i might want to do it more after trying it this first time. She does buy me feminine things and lets me dress up around the house, because it is a stress relief and makes me happy. She does this without complaint. She is great in this way as well as many other ways. She says this is a give and take and we talked about that as well. I won't go into detail on that part. While she acknowledges the "hobby", and participates & supports to a point, she wants to take it at her own pace, which is perfectly fine. She stated she does not have a trust issue. We have been together thru alot and are still together. Our relationship is strong. We are each other's best friend, which is fantastic. So we shall see.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi CF. < I think that I would put going out by yourself on hold for a while.