Going to tell my GF about Amy, tonight.....

[Amy R Lynn]

Wow, I've finally decided to let my GF in on my feminine side tonight. I have thought A LOT about this lately. I think the timing is as right as its ever going to be. We have been dating or over a month now. We have made our relationship exclusive, met each others parents, friends, visited each others bed rooms, etc... I don't want to go any further without knowing if she can accept this side of me. I'm very nervous about this conversation for obvious reasons. The rejection would be horible, and acceptance would be beyond delightful. But I don't think we should proceed further if she can't handle this part of me. I'm hopeful that at the least we could remain friends.

I have made some bullet points in my head on how I would like the conversation to go, on my side at least.

-Let her know that I really like her a lot, and can see us being together for a long time. I haven't felt like that about any one else since my divorce (4 years ago).

-Its important that I keep nothing back, and that I want her to know everything there is to know about me. I don't want to keep secrets.

-Let her know that I have something about myself that I would like to share with her. Its nothing bad, and it doesn't hurt anyone at all. I have only ever told one other person who knows me personally about this. Its very special to me.

-Then tell her that I like to dress up like a woman from time to time. Its something that has always been a part of me. I repressed it for many years thinking that it was just a silly fantasy, but would always come back. Its something that I have recently began to accept as being a part of me. Its something that I can't stop liking anymore than I can stop liking ice cream.

Then wait for her to process and either run away screaming (and I would melt into a puddle and hope to evaporate from the scene), ask me questions about it (More likely I think), or just think its great and accept me for the person that I am (I think this is a possiblity as well).

I do have some pictures on my phone to show her if she would like to see, but I'm not sure how it will go....

Thoughts, sugesstions, or accolades?

Hopefully I still have a GF tomorrow. Of course I will be certain to inform all of you how it goes.

[Sandra]

Take it slow and any questions she has make sure that you answer them honestly, don't say something just because you think it's what she wants to hear.

Good luck

[Amy R Lynn]

Not being honest is not an option. It would invalidate the whole conversation. Thank you for the advice. I will take it slow, and be honest.

[janet54]

Amy. Sandra is so right go with what she said.

[andrea35]

can you ask her first what his opinion is on homosexuality you know something that will give you heads up on what to expect once you decide to tell her?

[BRANDYJ]

Amy, I think it's great that you are risking the relationship by telling her. I hope it's not to soon, only shortly after a month month. But you know her and the amount of care for each other between you. I hope she has given you signals about how she feels about alternate lifestyles and that she can put her feelings toward you ahead of whatever preconceived notion she has about crossdressing. For everyone I ever told, I had a very good idea I was right about how they would accept it. The best was my ex-wife. She took the news in and said, " is that all there is?" I was lucky...or was it that I got to know her well enough to rightly know that it would not matter to her. That marriage lasted 19 years and we parted for other reasons other then my crossdressing. Today, 6 years later, we are still friends. I will keep my fingers crossed for you. I hope it goes well for you.

[Rebecca Star]

can you ask her first what his opinion is on homosexuality

What benefit would a straight guy get asking that?
If anything, it reinforces the generally WRONG mindest most people have about CD's, that is, we're all Gay!

[Sandra]

can you ask her first what his opinion is on homosexuality you know something that will give you heads up on what to expect once you decide to tell her?

Why? not all crossdressers are homosexuals..and asking a question like this could really make her worried, especially if after a few days she is told about Amy. IMO a really bad piece of advice.

[Kelley]

Make sure you and her have plenty of time to discuss it. Having to leave with questions unanswered could be bad.

[Amy R Lynn]

I'm usually pretty good at putting myself in others shoes. I think Andrea was alluding to the idea of how open minded she is to alternate life styles. I have to agree that asking how she feels about homosexuality just before springing this news would certainly send the WRONG message. She has many friends who are Gay, and Bi. So... I already know that she is open minded about alternate life styles. While this is true for her friends, I'm not sure how she will feel with her SO wanting to be a woman from time to time. So.... we come full circle to the point that I have no idea how she will react. I'm pretty certain that at the least we would probably remain friends.

I would rather find out about this now, than later. So... any sugesstions on my approach to telling her would be appreciated! Or if you think I'm right on target, great!

[Stephanie47]

I would suggest you ask her to please hold your conversation in confidence, whether or not she is accepting or totally disillusioned or anything in between.

[STACY B]

I'm usually pretty good at putting myself in others shoes. I think Andrea was alluding to the idea of how open minded she is to alternate life styles. I have to agree that asking how she feels about homosexuality just before springing this news would certainly send the WRONG message. She has many friends who are Gay, and Bi. So... I already know that she is open minded about alternate life styles. While this is true for her friends, I'm not sure how she will feel with her SO wanting to be a woman from time to time. So.... we come full circle to the point that I have no idea how she will react. I'm pretty certain that at the least we would probably remain friends.

I would rather find out about this now, than later. So... any sugesstions on my approach to telling her would be appreciated! Or if you think I'm right on target, great!

How about this ??? Hey Baby ,,, Wanna Go Shopping ? LOL,,,,, Well its an ICE BREAKER ,,, Yall know we all love to shop !! Worked for me !!

[BRANDYJ]

I'm usually pretty good at putting myself in others shoes. I think Andrea was alluding to the idea of how open minded she is to alternate life styles. I have to agree that asking how she feels about homosexuality just before springing this news would certainly send the WRONG message. She has many friends who are Gay, and Bi. So... I already know that she is open minded about alternate life styles. While this is true for her friends, I'm not sure how she will feel with her SO wanting to be a woman from time to time. So.... we come full circle to the point that I have no idea how she will react. I'm pretty certain that at the least we would probably remain friends.

I would rather find out about this now, than later. So... any sugesstions on my approach to telling her would be appreciated! Or if you think I'm right on target, great!

I have told several close female friends. All of them are very accepting of my being a CD. I remember asking one or two how they's feel if their husband or boyfriend happen to be one too. One said she didn't think she could deal with it. Others honestly said they didn't know, never thought about it. But I'm sure that if the love and trust was in place, they would learn to accept it even in their mates.

[Rachel Newark]

Amy,

Only you can pick when you tell her, but if you want a long term relationship then tell her you must. I told my SO after about 2 months. I figured if it was a deal breaker for her then lets get it broken sooner rather than later, before either of us had put too much into the relationship. We have now been together 10 years and 4 days !

I agree with the other comments. Why mention gay? It would only muddy the water.

Stick to the points you listed above and answer her questions honestly. Anything else would only lead to problems later.

The very best of luck :-)

Hugs and best wishes

Rachel

[Amy R Lynn]

How about this ??? Hey Baby ,,, Wanna Go Shopping ? LOL,,,,, Well its an ICE BREAKER ,,, Yall know we all love to shop !! Worked for me !!

Stacy I always love your posts! You make me laugh all the time! You would be a riot to hang out with, I can tell. You are the one that brings the party to the party. LOL

[Shelly Preston]

Amy Read the link in my signature on telling your partner

You might get some ideas you have not considered

I hope it all goes well

[Amy R Lynn]

Great advice ladies! I knew I could depend on ya! I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck....

[Kelli Ca]

I think its a good idea to get it out there early since it is a part of you and you need to be honest with who you are. I waited two years into my marriage the only problem she really had is she felt hurt that i wasnt honest about it. i can tell you it worked out being free our relationship has never been better. take it slow take her feelings ointo account, i am sending my warmest wishes for a successful evening cant wait to hear hoe it went

[BridalBoy]

I got divorced almost a year ago. I found a wonderful new GF about 9 months ago and we have been going strong since. She moved in with me about 4 months ago. I kept my CDing quiet until about a week or so ago...how did it go? I have been sleeping in lingerie every night since!

[Beverley Sims]

All the best with your explanation.
I AGREE alternative lifestyles are accepted from your friends, but from close relatives uh! uh!.
So keep that in the back of your mind and I hope you can bring the CD subject up confidently.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Amy, hope it all goes well, it's a very tense time, I know.

[Amy R Lynn]

Long Sigh..... It didn't happen. She wanted to go out to a festival that was going on, and there were so many people around. I just didn't think that would be the best place. This is a lot harder to get out than I thought. I can come up with a million different reasons why its not going to be the right time to tell her. I just have to wrench up the courage and get it done with. I think I'm just going to invite her out for dinner and tell her then. I have to get this out and in the open betwee us before we go too much further. Sorry to disappoint you all. I disappointed myself by not following through. That normally is not like me....

[TxKimberly]

I wouldn't be too hard on yourself because it is a HUGE step and a HARD one. Take your time and try and do it rignt.

[Cynthia Anne]

I understand completely Amy! I think you will know when the time is right! Hugs!

[Jorja]

Please do keep us informed. Good Luck to you.