no. but because i am in the closet... but if i croosdress in front of people, even my friends, they will "beat" me!
no. but because i am in the closet... but if i croosdress in front of people, even my friends, they will "beat" me!
Interesting. We talk a lot here on the forum about what drives our crossdressing. There are lots of theories, but no real answers. We also talk a little about fetishes and how they relate to crossdressing, but not about what causes us to have fetishes. Same answer as crossdressing: nobody really knows for sure.Originally Posted by NathalieX66
Your story about diapers may help to discourage the idea that fetishes can be "caused", rather than just happening for reasons still unknown.
This happend to me when I was about 28 years old. I had met a beautiful woman where I worked (She was younger 20 years old) and was a very sensual woman who was very fashionable and exsuded femininity. When I first saw her I told a work mate I'm going to mary that girl. I aked her out and started dating and was madly in love with her. I offcource hid my crossdrersing from her as I was scared to run her off. If you all remember in the early 80's no internet and such, but there where some magazines Female Impersonator and a few others, well I kept my stash of mags hiden behind a drawer in my bedroom. Well, one day I came home to my appartment (she had a key) and walked into the bed room and there on the bed where my mags spread out and the fury of the lord on her face. She asked me what I was doing with these gay magazines and procceded to call me sissy, **** and homo. After about 20min. of tongue lashing, she calmed down a bit and asked me if I wanted to be a woman, I said no and that Ilike to just wear women's clothes. Afte about a week of her not talking to me she said that she had thought about it an said that I could do it, but it had to stay in the bed room (Lingere only). We where engaged and about ayear after that I lost my job with the company and a fellow employee moved in on me and she broke my heart. Oh well.
We are all punished in some way... it goes with the territory. And if others don't punish us we do it to ourselves... bring on the pain!
Kaz xx
__________________________________________________ ____________
This Woman Within is Flying without Wings
At about age 12 I was caught and scolded by my mother and sent off to spend the rest of the summer with my dad. But I dont' think she ever told him why I was there, and that's probably a good thing. Other than that it's been the normal consequences of being just a little off from normal.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
If I ever decide to take up burglary, remind me never to use you as an accomplice!
Rebecca x
I never crossdressed until I was in my 20's and have never been caught except for those times when I have chosen to go out dressed.
got awfull abuse from my father for being too soft/girly/sissy , that was as far back as i can remember .it was not over dressing but more over the fact i played with girls all the time and played girls games and just thought and felt like a girl .he used to beat the crap outta me regular . i remember when i was 6 he was kicking me in the face and one of my sisters lay in front of me to protect me .i love that girl so much as she made life just about barable. from about 8 on i got a terrible time from two particular sisters, they tormented me day and night about being too girly , constantaly ridiculing me in front of people and calling me sissy or gay . luckily i had some other more lovable sisters who would bring me shopping and on the odd day trip where i could just be myself . by 15 id had enough and left home .my childhood sucked , i spent most of it trying and pretending to be a boy on the inside as well as outside / my upbringing certainaly repressed my feelings, i was an alcoholoc at 15 and buried my feelings in that and hard living for a looooong time . its easy to be a badass when you dont actualy care about yourself .i feared nothing but myself .
presently im happily married and my wife is supportive but in our earlier days she would throw insults about my crossdressing if we were rowing. it used to hurt soo much. she never does it anymore though as she knows how much it hurt . we met when we were very young and she had been through the mill herself and was badly scarred emotionaly and was playing the same game of raising hell and hateing herself so we made a good pair . lifes moved on and we are married ,deeply in love and best friends now but i still struggle trying to find a balance between what i actualy long for and the commitments ive have family wise (i have lovely children and they come first always) . im getting on a bit now and ive really wrecked this poor body and by the time family commitments are not so demanding i fear i will be too old and wrinkly to become what i should have been in the first place A WOMAN .
apoligies fro rambling a bit there, that just kinda poured out .it felt good to say it.
on a strange little sidenote ... that ass that used to beat the crap outta me all the time for being too girly .... he was a cd , i never said it to him but i knew .
Tara
finaly trying to mind this poor body that ive been thrashing for years .
I think I started around age nine. Back then I wasn't really good at hiding the things I "borrowed" from my sister and made some careless mistakes. I wasn't physically punished, but having to face my military officer dad and answer questions about why I kept swiping my sisters underwear wasn't fun. Even worse was the one time that my sister went and searched my room while several of my friends were present. I was probably thirteen or fourteen when this happened. We were having a large sleepover at my house. At that time I'd gone off to another friend's house to grab something. When I returned she confronted me about it in front of them. What else could I say than her clothes felt good to wear? Luckly no one ever said anything about it and have probably forgotten it by now.
I was never caught, instead being made to wear my sisters clothes was used as a punishment. I got to where i enjoyed being punished.
I never new how masculine I was until I tried to be a woman
One of my earliest memories is being scolded for wearing my younger sibling's diapers at around age five or six. At that young age I knew I never wanted to give those up. To this day I still don't.
Here is a twist. The punishment was being dressed in panties, usually for the rest of the day. That punishment, and adding other girls clothes into the mix, was typical for 6 or 7 years until around age 10 or 11. With two older sisters, there were plenty of girls clothes around the house. There was continual threats relating to this type of punishment, if I didn't change my behavior quickly. Add my sisters taunts to this, and one would wonder why I would ever come back around to it a year or two later. Go figure!
I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!
I never got caught but came close one time. I had a hard time getting the 17 buttons unbuttoned on the back of the wedding dress I was wearing when I heard the garage door opening. I'm sure if I had got caught, my father would have beat me with belt. I think my mother must have known that I wore her & my sisters' skirts and dresses because I left stains on them. She never said a thing.
i was never caught by my parents........it was later in life that i was caught by my ex-wife and it was good at the start but not so good towards the end
my new wife never caught me dressed just found my clothes but she is good and i can dress when i want
I was about 6 and had nicked (borrowed) a pair of my older sister’s satin panties. I hid them in my pillow case as I could not put them back with everyone home. Our house keeper found them as that day was when the bedding was changed, just my luck. My Dad broke two wooden spoons on my arse, could not ride my pony for three days. It took me years to figure out that I got the hiding for nicking them and not for having/wearing them, go figure.
Jane
(Sheer-Bliss)
"I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam," : Popeye
Wow, Tara. If he was a CD, why in the world would he beat on you? How did you know he was a CD?
Guess I should answer the question on topic as well. My mother caught me sneaking her heels to my room. After a bit of talking and trying to make me feel bad about it, she put the shoes in my room. Not sure why, but I guess to embarass me when friends came over. I think I was about 11 or so. To me, this wasn't really punishment, it just meant I didn't have to sneak them to wear them. I wore them all the time during the following couple of weeks when I was in my room alone. When she figured out that it wasn't embarassing, only enabling, she threw them in the garbage. Haven't really discussed it anymore.
Yes, yes I have. I told my therapist a while back about how my dad had beat me one time when I was caught. She asked if he had physically abused my mother too. It was then I finally realized I had been abused. I had never considered it before. I related to her how when I was 17, he beat me with his closed fist until he broke his hand. I don't remember if it was about being caught or not. But I wept in the theapist's office recounting the tale. I had never told another living soul about that day. Just as I never told another soul about my crossdressing. I guess that's why therapists are so good when you find the right one and when you are ready to open up to them.
I now need to be able to converse with my wife with the same openess.
Last edited by Shadeauxmarie; 08-12-2012 at 02:54 PM. Reason: Typo
May you live long and prosper.
Infinite diversity in infinite combinations.
"Smiling makes my face ache." F. N. Furter
Oh yes, I have been punished. My mother discovered that my female cousin was letting me wear her clothes when I hung out with her and her brother when I was 14 or 15 back in the mid '70s. Her brother was a TG. He so desperately wanted to be his "true self" which was a woman. We all hung out together and one day my Aunt who was doing all the laundry managed to blurt out how cute it was that we all "played dress up" together but there was so much laundry. Well, my mother was there and she was so mad. We got home and she forbid me to hang with my male cousin because he "isn't right in the head" and she didn't want me to be "like him."
We hung out anyway and I continued to wear panties for a few more years, but that was all. I recently started wearing panties and a few other women's items. I miss my cousin as he is now deceased, but oh the fun times we all had!
I use to sneak into my sister's room when I was about five or six and take their stockings. I would be in trouble in the morning and my father explain to me that those were girls and that I was to wear socks. About 12 or 13 I would try on their swimsuits that were in the basement hanging up to dry. I eventfully would sneak back into my sisters room and try on the long leg girdle at which my mother would catch me and tell me if I like wearing them so much she would buy me one. It never happen, later on I would be left alone in the house when my sisters would go out and my parents would go out for a sunday drive and the first thing I did was head to the girls room and get dressed as a young teenager. One of my sisters caught me dressed in her clothes wasn't a happy afternoon but she didn't tell my parents. I continue to dres
I use to sneak into my sister's room when I was about five or six and take their stockings. I would be in trouble in the morning and my father explains to me that those were girls and that I was to wear socks. About 12 or 13 I would try on their swimsuits that were in the basement hanging up to dry. I eventfully would sneak back into my sister’s room and try on the long leg girdle at which my mother would catch me and tell me if I like wearing them so much she would buy me one. It never happen, later on I would be left alone in the house when my sisters would go out and my parents would go out for a Sunday drive and the first thing I did was head to the girls room and get dressed as a young teenager. One of my sisters caught me dressed in her clothes wasn't a happy afternoon but she didn't tell my parents. I continue to dress in her clothes every chance that I got and would make sure everything went back either in her closet or drawers just the way it was.
When I turned about 18 I couldn’t stand it anymore and confess to her that I still wore her clothes, needless to say I had to buy her bra, panties and a full slip from her. One sister had gone off to college a few years before that and the other would soon move out also. That is when I had to start buying my own stuff and find somewhere to hide it.
Parents went on a two week vacation one year, I called in sick one day and spent the day dressed as a woman it felt wonderful. Little did I know that the sister I wore her clothes when she live at home was suppose to check on me, she had found out I called in sick and stop by the house to check on me only to find me dressed as a woman wearing makeup. That afternoon she started to leave but came back and asked if I wanted to talk about it I told her I wanted to have a woman to woman talk. She told me we could never have a woman to woman talk and I said a woman to whatever then. Came to find out she used to dress me up as a little girl when I was about 4 or 5. I have been dressing up since then for over fifty years and I still love it to this day.
I am now divorced because of it but I’m sure there were other factors involved but that is what she has told everybody.
Got caught wearing my sister's clothes when I was fifteen. Got a verbal tongue lashing from my father. Three months later to the day I got into trouble with the law concerning CDing. Instead of reform school the judge said I had an emotional problem and sent my parents and I to counselling. That lasted two years but only a few months for my parents. I think today that whole situation would have been handled differently and much more to my benefit.
Never got caught for being dressed, but was punished by my mom when she found a pair of heels and pantyhose under my bed. I remember it was summer time I just got done playing with my friends just grabbing something to drink and was ready to head back out. I hear my mom scream my name, I ran upstairs to the sight of her holding the goods. She took the stuff, and came back into the room with my dad's belt and as she put it, "gonna beat my a$$ until it bled buttermilk!" Damned if she didn't try.....worst part they were shoes and pantyhose she was getting rid of..
Ah yes, was given a long talk about the birds and the bees which was a total waste for a kid that lived in a farming community. Told that only gay boys wore girl clothes. Took me a bunch of years to learn I wasn't gay at all.
I think my Mom knew I was wearing her under wear when she went shopping in town, she started looking at me kind of funny and moved where she kept my favorites. But she never said anything nor did she tell me to come with her, she just let it play out that summer. When school started along with the hunting seasons, I was too busy to play gender games and besides everyone in the family was back in the little farmhouse leaving no privacy.
[QUOTE=TiffanyGreene;2925066]Wow, Tara. If he was a CD, why in the world would he beat on you? How did you know he was a CD?
QUOTE]
seen pics . picked up on other stuff he done too. .sorry for being off topic all .
finaly trying to mind this poor body that ive been thrashing for years .
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