It's like the old saying goes , The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
It's like the old saying goes , The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
You know what I find stupifying, is that women who want to be men, and I know what I'm talking about, as my sister is in that category, just never got the being a girl and feeling what it is. They haven't liked the fact that they had breasts or felt inferior to men. I like the way I feel in womens clothes because I can't wear them everyday. I haven't had real breasts that might hurt when they grew. So I have to imagine what that feels like.
I don't honestly believe that I'll ever pass, so I have to live in the shadow of who I would like to be. Oh well, that's my price. As a woman, you won't knownwhat it feels like to wake up with a H-O in the morning. Guess that's your price. Then again, I don't hear many women wanting that part so much. For now, I'll keep underdresssing and have to be happy with that and my imagination.
GG chiming in here... Several comments on women being more honest with each other: Women are NOT honest, not with each other. Those outings, with even my closest friends, which CDers tend to romanticize as "girls having fun" are not carefree social occasions for a flock of pretty women. They are very competitive. Whose husband has the biggest job; whose kids have the best grades; who has the best real boobs; whose kids have the best sports record; who has the most stylish hair; who has the most expensive clothes; whose kid has the most extracurricular leadership roles; whose second home is in the most exclusive location. It sounds like we're all congratulating each other on our good fortunes, but those bright, tinkling voices are speaking some very cutting words. Watch the movie Mean Girls. It doesn't stop when the girls turn into women.
Jee whiz! I just logged on and read all your responses. Thank you all for putting in your opinion. Now here's mine:
For me, being a dude makes me feel like a lot of you ladies have put it. Just right.
Being a guy means having courage, a desire to protect but the capacity to love. It means power and confidence. Class and courtesy with a tad bit of swagger. (ok maybe a lot of swagger) It means low maintenance mornings lol. The competition is seen as real and not just cute.
I'm aware that not all those characteristics are reserved for males, but it's just what I give to males.
I don't know. It just makes me feel right. Like coming home after a long trip. Just comfortable and correct.
The name's Adam. 19 year old FtM in Philly USA. Looking for friends and confidence.[SIZE="4"][/SIZE]
pardon me ... this is totally off topic to the thread, but that is fascinating.Originally Posted by Marlana
so both you and your sister have gender identity stuff going on? I've often wondered if there IS a GID-gene or something.
For instance, my dad ... uber-conservative in every way and just paranoid to the Nth degree about all things gay (noticeably so, and that's saying something for it to stand out against the background of all the paranoid nuttery that dude is into). .. I've always sort of harbored a suspicion that he was compensating for something and ... you know maybe I didn't fall so far from the tree afterall.
Interesting stuff. Sorry for the derail. Everyone please resume your regularly scheduled thread ....
Yep, Elledsud is correct. Everybody should go watch mean girls. You know Janice? Well a chick did the same thing down to strange details that Regina did to her. Girls have competition, its just different. I'd rather compete at the guy things where actuall skill is involved. As a girl it seems everything I want is just out of reach. And girls (especially high school) are not kind to eachother in the least. Vicious actually.
I have always wanted that... That darn grass...
Last edited by Eryn; 08-15-2012 at 12:11 AM. Reason: Merged two consecutive posts. Please use the multiquote button at the bottom right of each post to put all your replys in one post.
The name's Adam. 19 year old FtM in Philly USA. Looking for friends and confidence.[SIZE="4"][/SIZE]
You just explained what the allure is to a "T". Many of our contingency acknowledge that we didnt choose it, we were born with it. Our brains were morphed, something got crossed, and here we are. Instead of the physical, like our closely related intersex friends, we only got the mental allure to be transgender.
Many of us are dressing in our preferred gender, which is registered in an inaccessible spot that cannot be cured or altered, except to give it freedom to express. It's almost like we are not really crossdressing, but dressing correctly to conform to the image in our mind. That is, for some of us, not all.
Well, for one thing, the fashion choices are better. Guys clothes are boring.
Who needs gender? ....seriously?
And there you have your answer.
The "allure" or charm of m2f transitioning is both psychological and physical. The pull is felt because of an inner urge or predisposition.
(1) It's psychological because there are pre-existing (inborn) feminine personality traits the extent of which varies depending on the individual. The more inwardly transgendered the greater the tendancy to naturally express this aspect of ones personality.
When the itch to do so intensifies and the time & setting are permitting, an m2f transgendered individual can relax and allow his feminine personality to fully manifest and self-express. If this pre-existing feminine self is deeply ingrained or has evolved and strengthened over time there can occur a total or near total conversion in gender identification. One undergoes a powerful, fundamental psychological transition from male to female as the female personality takes over, influencing all aspects of behavior, thinking, feeling, likes & dislikes, attitudes, opinions & preferences all of which are markedly different (even contrary to) the normally dominant male personality.
The maleness of ones normal personality is greatly diminished. It fades in importance and influence. One is now barely aware of that 'normal' everyday self or altogether forgets it. 'He' becomes 'She' in a very genuine sense. Totally immersed in his normally repressed inner female self, one that is independent and as real as (or even more real than) the coexisting male personality, the m2f individual looks, acts, thinks & feels in a manner that is predominantly if not wholly feminine. And does so in a way that is legitimate, authentic and true to inner herself.
(2) It's naturally arousing to transform to your own ideal 'girlfriend'. When you look in the mirror the (subdued) male in you doesn't recognize the sexy, sultry, alluring girl reflecting back. This is at once confusing & arousing, empowering the female you see in you, now freely expressing in everyway possible. As she exerts more influence you fall for her allure & are liable to do things you normally wouldn't. Once overcome with and immersed in feminine feelings, sex is intense & overwhelming.
Are you kidding? Hah, I love guy's clothes! Simple, sexy and comfortable (thats the big one) if you ask me.Well, for one thing, the fashion choices are better. Guys clothes are boring.
Who needs gender? ....seriously?
There's that grass again...
Thats a very elegant well though out responce.
Last edited by Eryn; 08-15-2012 at 12:13 AM. Reason: Merged two consecutive posts. Please use the multiquote button at the bottom right of each post to put all your replys in one post.
The name's Adam. 19 year old FtM in Philly USA. Looking for friends and confidence.[SIZE="4"][/SIZE]
Dressing up makes me feel soft, alluring and vulnerable, I find a need to feel protected rather than to protect, to comfort and caress rather than simply provide. I can't explain why I enjoy feeling this way, but it's a nice treat when I get a chance to go fem.
the same exact answers as to why your a man.
Interestingly, this is very much like the answer I would give for what draws me to presenting as a woman. For me it's less about feeling softer or more delicate; I actually feel stronger and more confident. I've never felt like I've related well to being one of The Guys. I have always felt on guard and insecure in those social settings, as if I don't have the skills to match up. But when I dress, I feel like how I look matches who I am. I won't be expected to compete in Guy terms; I somehow know as a woman though that I will fully be able to account for myself in any situation.Being a guy means having courage, a desire to protect but the capacity to love. It means power and confidence. ~the_shark
Please note, I am not implying that it's harder to be a guy and that being a woman is "the easy route." In many ways, I think it may be harder to be a woman (which, I admit, I'll never truly *know*). I'm just saying that it's harder for *me* to be a guy, but when I am in girl mode, all the pieces feel like they have finally dropped into place.
Perfect reply. I'm with you on this.
I enjoy my 'maledom', and wouldn't trade it for the world. It's just that I also love to 'girl-up' occasionally (becoming much more frequent) and enjoy the variety of women's clothes. So much variety! Just beginning the makeup thing as well. It's fun!!!
Di
Hi,
None, being born different ,not a wont or even thoughts about being do i have to choose, my mind programing was wired as a female plus some internal body differences, just some crossed over with male , clothes yes they are lovely nice to wear never had a bearing on who i am,
For me its in being who i am & expressing that part of myself as a female / woman, does not mean what little male expresson there is its all a part of my makeup as a person down to the advantages & disadvantages that comes with being different.
...noeleena...
I like the experience of the "knowing"
It is enjoyable because everyone wears a mask but you see them anyway.
What appears to be superficial is really just a ritual and there is language below language, everything is layered and nothing appears as it seems.
Often the extreme sensitivity and connectivity feels like "to much" but yet without it there would not be the knowing that takes you past the surface and into the depths.
Being this way almost killed me but I'm glad for the experience now that I have moved beyond it.
You stop needing to manage yourself when you become whole, things become quiet yet the intensity is not lost.
Now I paint my toe nails because I'm "not" resisting and not as a consequence "of " resisting.
Crossdressing is a river and everyone dives into it from the same bank but it is the bank you call home when you finally swim out that is the test of who you are.
I have come full circle so have changed into what I already was, bringing up from the depths what was denied.
I thought the allure was escape from what "is" but realize now it was escape from what "should have been" and so now the should have been "is" so there is no allure.
My mind is finally quiet, a very strange experience and I wonder where it will take me.
Last edited by KellyJameson; 08-15-2012 at 02:02 AM.
Adam, because you want to go the other way I would say that you have been attracted to the male physique, dress and mannerisms.
I have the opposite reaction, I am attracted to female physique, dress and mannerisms.
The question I would ask, why do you want to be a man.
I have only read your post and not any one elses.
I would say there a lot of analytical threads there and I will go read them myself now.
I try and answer the OP's question before being tainted by other replies.
Of which I see there are many.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Since you are a ftm you will probably agree that the desire/need for those of us with gender identity/expression traits are not a choice but an integral part of us. Most, probably even you might agree that life would be less complicated if we weren't in this group (not better necessarily, but less complicated) so a rational choice would be to skip all of this. I, personally don't feel my need/desires are of my own choosing. This is where i am on the gender expression continuum and so I need to crossdress and I desire to experience some things in life from a female perspective so to speak.
Now to answer your question about the pluses, women have more choices in clothing, jobs (paid less I'll admit), how they appear. Also along the lines of your veiw, no one questions a female when they wish to emulate a man but males are chastized for wishing to do feminine things in many cases. This is a drawback to being male. males are expected by western culture to always behave manly. and there are real stresses that come from that (we die much younger then females.
GREAT POST!
Shark, I think you're gonna need a new lawnmower. Lol! I agree with you though. Damn green grass is as bad as a pink fog.
The clothes and the shopping
what she said, there is very little "allure" to it and there have been many days that I have cried myself to sleep just wishing i could have been a "normal" guy
Allure is really the wrong word. It's really pretty clear that I'm bigendered. There are just times when Tina needs to be allowed to be herself. I'm not yet sure what the mix will end up being, but there will be time for both of my gendered selves, separate and unique.
All of the differences in the "trappings" of one gender or the other is not a part of the reality of what makes one transgendered. The "trappings" are what define the style of each of my gendered selves.
Well then tell us...from your perspective what are the positive points about being male??????
It's all in ones viewpoint now isn't it??
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
It's not so much about the grass being greener on the other side than it is your side of the fence being a turnip farm.
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