Lol, I find being a girl quite the turnip farm. Like I said to whom that have asked, being male just fits me. It fits my hobbies, personality and feels comfortable and it's how I'd like the world to treat me. Yes, it is all about viewpoint. I just wanted to hear the different viewpoints and what appeals and makes it feel right for all of you. You've done a good job explaining everyone, so thanks for the feedback.Originally Posted by whowhatwhen
The name's Adam. 19 year old FtM in Philly USA. Looking for friends and confidence.[SIZE="4"][/SIZE]
Adam ,the want to express as a woman is something i HAVE to do. it is ME. Luv Roberta
It has nothing to do with 'gaining an advantage' in life. It has to do with feeling that you are what you are supposed to be. I would think any trans gender person would understand that, shark. My best analogy is the swimsuit one: Say you're at an elegant affair. Everyone else is wearing a tux or an evening gown. You, however, are standing there in a bathing suit. Feel right? Probably not. That's the feeling I (and lots of others) have when wearing male clothing, and am expected to behave socially as a male. It has nothing to do with positive points or negative points (besides, there are positive points to being a woman, but you mind blocks them because you're more comfortable with that belief). I won't get into a pi$$ing contest about which gender has it better in life, because that argument has been rehashed, oh, about a million times. Try googling the question, there's plenty to read. But you're traveling a very, very difficult road, FtM, and I wish you the best on your journey. If you can't find any information about the benefits of being female, feel free to message me.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
As someone already asked, what's the allure of wanting to be a man? Men are not pretty, sexy or desired by women for their sensual looks. Men are very visual and are attracted to the female form more so then women being attracted to a man based on visual stimuli alone. I guess for us that are crossdressed men, it's nice to feel like we are more attractive and sensual as we ourselves view women. I also think if I was a woman, it would be nice to know I am desired by men for my looks alone. Not that I'd respond. I admire, adore, lust after,respect, and love women for so many reasons beyond just looks. It's nice to try and act and look like what I so admire. Men do nothing for me. Many things associated with being a man are not so nice or even good. First and foremost is the typical man's view of women and lack of care and concern for them beyond the bedroom. To many men think women are some sort of second class citizen put here to just serve mankind. Not every man, but to many to make me proud they are one of us, the weaker sex...man.
When im in guy mode im able to go out and not really be noticed or worry about being read i just basically blend in with the crowd .But i do not feel free it is like im hiding out in public behind a very high wall .When im dressed and hiding in my little closet in my house i feel more free and happier and way less stressed .This to me is my allure to being a cder or yes at times a women it is the freedom in my prison if that makes any sense ??.It is my little piece of happiness
I have a hubcap diamond star halo
I do understand that. I love your analogy by the way. I can surely identify there.
The name's Adam. 19 year old FtM in Philly USA. Looking for friends and confidence.[SIZE="4"][/SIZE]
I spent my life up to this point trying to be a normal guy... and I was almost successful. I'm not driven by an allure to want to be a girl. I denied this part of me for so long and now I am trying to accept and embrace it. Luckily I have a wonderful wife who has been so understanding and supportive. I don't want to be a girl, I just want to be me and be happy. I still don't understand what this means completely, I almost feel as if I am somewhere in between male and female.
Kelli<3
So glad you have a supportive SO. Good for you. And I wish you luck.
The name's Adam. 19 year old FtM in Philly USA. Looking for friends and confidence.[SIZE="4"][/SIZE]
What's the allure of doing what you most want to do? The happiness.
We all initially suffer from the old 'grass is greener on the other side of the fence' syndrome. Louis C K does an excellent routine on the benefits of being a guy historically as well as in today's society. But with those benefits, come expectations, as well as downsides. So for brand and shark, let's revisit a few.
Men. Can go out alone and not be bothered. Safety? Less likely to get assaulted, and nearly never sexually assaulted or touched by someone we don't want it from. Shopping, the sales person often will come up to a counter, and even when there are several women there who were ahead of us, they ask to help us first because we are usually never browsing but simply want to pay for something and get out of the store, which goes much faster and easier than assisting a woman with things. No menstruation, that's a given. Taller, stronger, better able to focus on a single task. We also compartmentalize our lives, which further enhances the last item and makes our decisions less complicated. Clothes are much, much simpler as well; if you meet a guy wearing the same suit, you may become friends, and think nothing of it. We don't automatically hate a guy who is dating a girl we're attracted to.
Women. Have a choice in life, can work, or get married and stay at home and raise the kids (and no, men do not have that option without giving up our maleness in the presence of every other male, as well as nearly every female). Chivalry means for the most part, a guy will never, ever hit you until you push him way too far or he's physically in danger of being seriously hurt. You use tears as a weapon to manipulate men. Have a far greater ability to 'read' another person's feelings and behavior. Better use of peripheral vision, associated with your ability to multitask. Oh, a big one, women DON'T GET DRAFTED INTO THE MILITARY AND GET SENT RUNNING INTO A MACHINE GUN NEST TO DIE. Danger? Women and children first, guys have to sacrifice themselves for no particular reason, and a guy who sees a women he doesn't even know that is being assaulted by a man is automatically required to go to her aid, even if he knows he may get killed, it's just the way our society is made, to protect women, not men (men are considered disposiible). Sex? From the age of 13 to about 40, you can walk into any bar and there will be a whole lot of willing partners, no questions asked. If there's a particular guy you're interested in, knowing that men are predominantly visually attracted to women, you can alter your appearance quickly (hair, makeup, outfit, shoes, etc.) to fit into what he wants (guys can't automatically increase their height, social status or salary in a day or two, most often never) and bingo, you're in the game. Despite what a lot of american women think, men don't give a crap about your house, your car, or your job. All men want is a woman who's sexually attractive to us, and nice to us. Everything else isn't even noticed. Really. Sure, it's nice to be a good cook or housekeeper, but it's not necessary; there's plenty of ready made food, and most guys live sloppily anyway so they don't care. Women can spend an eternity in front of a mirror working on their appearance, and that's considered normal. If a guy doesn't naturally look good, and spends time on his appearance, he's considered weird by both men and women. Women don't have to put themselves out there and risk rejection; they have the option to approach men, but don't have to. Men have no choice. Sexually, if a man is sexually not satisfied, everyone thinks something's wrong with him. If a woman is sexually unsatisfied, everyone thinks there's something wrong with the guy: it's always assumed it's the man's fault. Divorce? Well over 90% of alimony recipients and child custody decisions favor the woman, and if there's a 'tie', the decision also automatically goes to the woman. There's no shame in backing down from an altercation for a woman; a man has no choice, even when he knows he's going to get killed, he has to 'man up'. A woman can get naked in public and everyone cheers and smiles; a guy gets naked and everyone screams in horror. Women can fit into all the great little sports cars, theater and arena seats that big guys simply can't; that six inch height 'advantage' isn't always an advantage. And of course, the last, clothing: Women have such a wide choice of what to wear, they can express their feelings and who they are with their attire, as well as inspire sexual and romantic desire in the men around them easily with what they wear; a man doesn't have that option, as the primary attraction to males is usually not in his visual appearance, but his behavior, status, job, height, and assets, and not every guy is smart enough to make a lot of money, but as some women make up mogel said, there are no ugly women, just lazy ones; if a woman stays in decent shape, hair, cosmetics and clothes can make a '2' into a '7' at least. And of course, it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind; she can get a guy all worked up sexually and then tell him to stop, she changed her mind. A woman gets 'veto power', but insists the guy make the choices for her: I'm sure everyone is familiar with this scenario: 'Lets go out to eat'..guy says, sure, where would you like to go? Woman says, 'oh, anywhere'. Guy says, 'great, lets go to Alfonso's'. Woman says, 'Nah, I don't feel like Italian'. Guy says, 'alright, lets to go Wang Chung's'. Woman says, 'No, not chinese either'. And it goes on and on. Home decorating choices? Always the woman's. I've been in more homes with 'pretty' and often fragile furniture that's uncomfortable than I can count; as well as houses painted pink. Do I have to mention that about 95% of dates are paid for by men, and that women expect that and see it as normal? Considering that studies show that of all college graduates working full time, the mean salary for women is 101% of what men make (Wall Street Journal expose based on U.S. labor statistics), so it shows that of women who take their careers seriously, they now have reached parity in the income arena, but still get to complain that their usually family based sisters who chose the 'mommy track' are underpaid.
The lists go on and on, but basically, life isn't easier or harder for either sex, but simply, it's different. We all have problems, just different ones. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
And last but not least, anyone know the magic outfit that a guy can wear that will enable him to walk into a bar and have women lining up to buy him a drink and take him out? No? I didn't think so.
Last edited by sometimes_miss; 08-17-2012 at 10:49 AM.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
The grass is greener argument is an interesting one and yeah I am there too... I accept that career-wise and in many other areas women are still progressing their rights, but I do know so many women that have won through. I have been on the receiving end of positive discrimination in the workplace. It ended my career in Pharma when the company decided to only promote women to get the numbers up... there were some good decisions on this and some bad ones... lots of good guys left. Merit and capability had nothing to do with it. I used to think that women get a better deal... but then I also realised that I just preferred their 'deal' to the male one. The male deal is about the 'pack' and the pecking order. If you do not fit in forget it. Start your own pack. If you are not entrepreneurial enough to start your own pack, you are a loner. Loners are outsiders who look for what they can get from wherever... I have been a loner for most of my life. OK I have a family, kids, and I have made friends when I have needed them... but I am not part of anything...
...except my family, this place and my bands!
Being a guy sucks... it is just not a good place to be. The only positives are that if you conform to the rules and play the politics, you find a sustainable path through to old age...
Kaz xx
__________________________________________________ ____________
This Woman Within is Flying without Wings
short answer. booobs. long answer . way to long
regent,
Adam, I look at your female picture and I almost wanna cry. To think that you were blessed with being born so very beautiful but don't want it, is almost mind boggling to me, so I guess it's hardly a surprise that you dont exactly get us either.
What is the allure?
The feeling of "rightness".
The sudden realization that you feel like you are finally breathing after holding your breath for your whole life.
The wonder of looking in the mirror and seeing someone who you have always dreamed of being
I really don't think that it is something that can be properly explained - you either "get it" or you dont.
Hmm...I like that.Adam, I look at your female picture and I almost wanna cry. To think that you were blessed with being born so very beautiful but don't want it, is almost mind boggling to me, so I guess it's hardly a surprise that you dont exactly get us either.
What is the allure?
The feeling of "rightness".
The sudden realization that you feel like you are finally breathing after holding your breath for your whole life.
The wonder of looking in the mirror and seeing someone who you have always dreamed of being
I really don't think that it is something that can be properly explained - you either "get it" or you dont.
Good explanation. .....fits me too!
This is false. Sexual assault against men happens and goes ridiculously under-reported. I had some random chick grab my ass at a bar and let me tell you, it is not a good feeling. Feels like something was taken from you, combined with the societal view that it is ok for women to do that sort of shit because men must want it means you feel powerless to do anything about it because you don't think anyone will take it seriously. It still bothers me.
Yep, when you adjust for the different factors women are even slightly overcompensated. Can you source this though? I would like to use the study when people on this site trot out that "women are underpaid" line.
“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.”
Mary Anne Radmacher
Sorry, but I cannot even begin to say just how much this offends me.You use tears as a weapon to manipulate men.
Yes, I cry a fair bit. This is something that started happening just after I started hormonal birth control. It's been about a year and a half since I went off that medication, and I still burst into tears at the oddest situations during certain points of my cycle. I absolutely hate it when it happens, it's embarrassing, it makes me feel vulnerable and exposed, and I always get super blocked up and a big sinus headache out of the deal, too.
To say I do it to manipulate men is just.... SOOO... Wrong!
When a man complains about it, it is laughed off. Another inequity between the sexes which favors women.
I used to work for the WSJ and read it every day; they got the information from the U.S. census, and was never refuted, so I'm taking it on the record of the WSJ as being, as usual, a very accurate newspaper with it's facts. I suppose you could look through that bazillion page document, the U.S. census records, good luck. The problem lies in the fact that it's a median; meaning that there are more men at the top and bottom of the income range so women see more men at the top tier positions and automatically assume that all men make more than the women do. Like a lot of other so called 'minorities' (women are actually THE MAJORITY but get minority status and assistance under the equal employment opportunity acts), lots of women often immediately cry 'foul!' any time they see a man getting something they want and blame it on sexism. Watch this thread as some women will ignore the words 'lots of women often' and see it as a blanket statement that all women act that way; happens every single time I bring this topic up on other forums!
And, Babeba wrote:
Not everyone does it; but women do it a lot, and men, oh, so rarely. The only time I've ever seen it was in a movie called 'Adam's Rib'. Guys get ridiculed for crying; women get sympathy. Just another inequity between the sexes.Sorry, but I cannot even begin to say just how much this offends me. Yes, I cry a fair bit. This is something that started happening just after I started hormonal birth control. It's been about a year and a half since I went off that medication, and I still burst into tears at the oddest situations during certain points of my cycle. I absolutely hate it when it happens, it's embarrassing, it makes me feel vulnerable and exposed, and I always get super blocked up and a big sinus headache out of the deal, too. To say I do it to manipulate men is just.... SOOO... Wrong!
Last edited by sometimes_miss; 08-18-2012 at 12:39 AM. Reason: spilling
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Adam if being male feels right to you I hope you are allowed to enjoy it as often as you wish
Brings out my inner narcissist in a softer mode.
Hi
you ask why do we mtf want to be female and the the same could be asked of why do you want to be male?
as a mtf i can put on a lovely sexy dress as a man i can put on a shirt and jeans as a female i can wear sexy underwear
as a man i can wear Y-fronts.
i hope you can see why i love to want to wear female clothes as to mens clothes, it comes down to want i like and want you want.
so our allure is want the person like to do you like dressing as a man and us mtf like to dress as a woman it can be that simple.
Claire who loves to dress as a woman
Hi all
After reading this post and responses,I believe its the thrill of going against the norm. We're the kind of folks that are not just happy with the norm and we want to try different things and ideas. I think thats what fuels our desire.
Just my two bits
Thera
Sorry for this belated post in the thread, but I discovered it only today, and I found it very interesting. I can just share my own experience and utterly subjective comments, which are somehow different from those the majority of the other posters expressed. I would say that Adam (a fellow guy inside and such a gorgeous girl outside) is, all in all, right. Here’s why I agree with the Jews who pray: “"Blessed art Thou, o Lord our God, King of the universe, Who hast not made me a woman”:
So why do I find crossdressing fun? Because I admire and love women and their appearance, I appreciate their efforts and acknowledge their inconvenience to be sexy (for us, even though they often say they do it for themselves!). I am amazed when I see how sexy I look as a woman: I think I would be the kind of woman that makes me turn the head, and this is both flattering and funny. But then, after playing with the outfits, experiencing womanhood and taking some pictures, what a relief to revert to my true self! “Blessed art Thou, o Lord our God, who hast made me a straight man (and a lesbian CD!)”.
- the burden (family and work) of women is heavier than that of men, and far less acknowledged (and paid!);
- being a pretty women requires more efforts, money and time than being a handsome man;
- sexy female garments are far more uncomfortable (and expensive!) than male ones (everybody here knows what it means wearing high heels or how a tight skirt hampers one's movement!); nevertheless...
- ...women are aware that, to the average man, their naked body is less attractive than the same in underwire bra/corset, garter belt/thigh-highs, heels, slits, and so on; with the nasty consequence that...
- ...the sexier a woman is dressed the more worried she is about showing too much (of her cleavage, of her stockings, of what can be seen through...); this requires constant vigilance (to sitting, crossing the legs, standing, riding a bike...) totally unknown to men;
- women attract more unwanted attentions than men (a man raped by a woman would rival a dog bitten by a postman! Ok, ok, I know it happens...);
- a woman alone in the night is less safe than a man; i.e. women are less free;
- the female body is less apt to physical activity (have you ever spoken with a buxom girl about running on the beach?);
- ageing devastates the beauty of female body much more than that of the male one (an old actor is more likely to remain sexy than an old actress, in my opinion);
- women have period, labour and osteoporosis.
I was wondering what happened to Adam. Haven't heard from him in awhile now.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
For me it's not an "Allure". There is no magnetic attraction to femininity or the appearance of same. There's no desire to wear a certain article of clothing or act a certain way.
For me it's an inner need to express part of myself that remains hidden and seems to only find it's release as a woman. If that can be taken as an allure then so be it. It's not that I idolize women and fashion, it's that part of me is female and needs to be visible in ways that are unmistakably feminine. That's not to say that I'm in high fashion all the time. More often than not I'm "dressed down" so to speak. I'm as comfortable in jeans, flats and a blouse as I am in my LBD. My style depends on what I'm doing and where I'm going just as any woman. I don't wear my LBD to Walmart and I don't wear my jeans to a fancy restaurant. I'm not hooked on nylons and heels though I do wear them when the occasion warrants.
So if there is allure in that ... I guess I'm guilty.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
These days, I don't find much allure in presenting as male. My hair, although a bit frizzy (nothing keratin treatment can't cure) , is finally down to my shoulders after all these months, and I feel naked when I don't wear earrings. Most of my face has been zapped off by laser and electrolysis. Dressing really casual as female, even in public settings, feels normal. I don't know why, It just does.
I don't know why any guy would prefer to look female, This is not RuPau's Drag Race, but I'm not entirely comfortable with the male presentation within myself. So I decided to take a chance, and take my lumps from a social standpoint, and I feel it has been worth the ride.
Does anybody understand what I'm saying? If no, that's fine.
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