No no I didn't misspell. Earlier this week I talked about agriculture and now it seems I'm going to be talking about civil engineering. We cross-dressers usually talk about being in the closet. It conjures up images of the tiny enclosed space that we trap ourselves in to hide ourselves from the world. Talking of closets makes it seem that we are engaged in self imprisonment or self torture. Perhaps there is another way, another structure metaphor that we can use to describe what we do.
In life we hold back a lot we find that we need to restrain emotions, thoughts, words, and deeds in order to function in our lives. We sort of have to dam these parts of ourselves so they don't overflow and ruin important things in our lives. You wake up in the morning so you can go to work you have to dam your desire to sleep in. Your wife asks you if she's getting fat sometimes you have to dam the truth to keep your marriage happy. You're on a diet and you walk past the plate full of freshly baked cookies you have to dam your appetite in order to keep the weight off. You want that really expensive brand-new Ferrari you have to dam your checkbook in order to pay the rent next month. Your boss tells you in a nasty way that you have to stay late, work harder you have to dam your voice from speaking your opinion in order to keep your job. Everyone everywhere practices the art of damming their desires in order to function with others in society.
Now we as cross-dressers have a unique type of water that we need to hold back. Like any real-life dam there are multiple reasons to dam our rivers. A real dam can provide hydroelectric power to provide a town with the power it needs to light and heat its homes, the power factories stores to perform business and earn money. A cross-dresser might have to dam his cross-dressing in order to keep his job. A real dam sometimes is built to control water flow along the river make sure it doesn't flash flood out the towns downriver. A cross-dresser might have to dam his cross-dressing to maintain the stable family life or relationship among loved ones and friends. Sometimes a dam is built to create a lake for fishing, boating, or other water recreations. Cross-dresser might simply want to keep his recreation separate from the rest of his life.
Just picture it if you will. A large concrete wall set between two parallel mountain ranges holding back what was once a river and now a lake. Stand on top of that dam and looked down into the valley below. What is there? What fills that Valley? This is the main question we have to answer. For what is down in that Valley determines the fate of the dam. That Valley is our life.
Some cross-dressers have happily blown up their dams and for them it was the best day of their life. I would suspect that looking back their valleys are probably filled with wilderness nothing more than rocks and trees, plants and animals. Or it was filled with ramshackle houses containing bitter hateful grumpy old men and the like. Or they never really cared about that their valley town to begin with. They just blew up their dam and rode the wave like some amusement Park flume ride all the way down to the beach where they set up a chair and an umbrella to finally enjoyed the good life. It is these cross-dressers that often give advice of blowing up dams to other cross-dressers. But to me this advice should be taken as if it was coming from a couple of careless rednecks with a truck full of dynamite.
Some cross-dressers may have accidentally blown up their dams. An inadvertent slip, faulty engineering, or not being careful with the floodgates and brought raging waters crashing through their town and now they're left mending the pieces. These cross-dressers may have miscalculated on tearing down their dam what was thought to be controlled floodwaters soon became uncontrolled floodwaters that ended up ruining the town. For some cross-dressers the people in the valley town have all moved out and have gotten jobs in other cities the town seems deserted and it's time to retire from maintaining the dam. For many this is the perfect time to blow up the dam but sometimes there's going to be the town's person who wishes to return and will get angry at seeing his childhood home 10 feet underwater.
Just like in the above examples it can be all right to be lazy and call in sick to work once in a while, grab one cookie off the plate, or maybe whisper that your boss is a jerk. Dam management for those of us who want to protect that Valley town doesn't have to be all that hard. Often times it's just a matter of knowing when and when not to open the floodgates. Many cross-dressers design their dams to hold back all the water and not let any out. But you have to look at a real dam, a large concrete wall separating the lake from what looks to be a tiny stream or river coming out the bottom. Some of the water has to flow out no dam can hold back all the water. These are why dams are designed with floodgates to control the flow of water when needed. A good person controlling their dam will also watch for heavy rains up in the mountains so that they can better manage floodgates before the water level gets too critical.
Maintaining a dam is not always fun, we may rather not do it, we may dream of doing what others have done and ride the the torrent of water down to the beach. We may sometimes even resent the townsfolk for living below the dam. But we should never forget that at some point we built this dam for a reason, to protect something precious to us.
Sorry for another long post. It may have only been a cross-dressers trait to mimic females...... I may have only just wanted to complain about retaining water.
