Right out of the closet now

[reb.femme]

I mark 8th April 2012 as my liberation day, as it was the day I confessed all to my wife. Usual story, I thought I was the only deviant in the world. Luckily, I found this site back in February 2012 and quickly realised that I was not a weirdo and that there were many others similar in thought.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, we are still together, she helps me buying clothes and even borrows from my wardrobe. However, she is still coming to terms with my CDing so I said it was OK to tell her sister, with whom she is very close. I know my wife can ask questions on here as a GG but I believe that our family members have that intimate connection she needs.

So now my secret is out to a second person that knows me and if I’m totally honest, I seriously don’t care who knows at this precise time. I would prefer that no one from my work knows, as my work and social life are completely separate. My work takes me away from my home area and I’ve been out twice from the hotel this week, open for the world to see me. I checked out and drove home en femme too. This isn’t pink fog, just a straight, “If my wife can accept me, I couldn’t give a damn if no one else does” approach.

It’s definitely too late now to put the old genie back in the bottle, but if life is easier for my wife, then I’m a happier girl too. I should add for clarity that my wife asked if it was OK to tell her sister, rather than me using the situation to further my own cause. Today was a loving day with my wife, like a weight was lifted from her shoulders, so I’m hoping this telling proves to be a release for her.

Thoughts appreciated but please be gentle

[RADER]

This sounds like a real good thing. If she is confiding with her sister, and viewing this
forum, that will see that CDing is not the end of the world. You are a lucky person to have an understanding wife.
Rader

[reb.femme]

This sounds like a real good thing. If she is confiding with her sister, and viewing this
forum, that will see that CDing is not the end of the world. You are a lucky person to have an understanding wife.
Rader

Thank you Rader, I love her to bits and she is my life.....full stop!

Rebecca x

[PretzelGirl]

Why wouldn't we be gentle? This is a nice thought. I am glad that your wife is so accepting. It does make things easier. I would tie your thought that you don't care who knows outside of work to her acceptance too. I don't care who knows outside of work (I could do without my mother knowing, but that is an age/distance thing). But it is good to care when there are family members that find out and they have reservations. In some ways, we do need to work with those close to us on the pace at which we come do come out.

Genie back in the bottle; toothpaste back in the tube.... They are all good analogies. We do need to move in careful steps especially when those steps are large. But once we do, we need to smile and accept all that comes with it.

It sounds like you are on a good path. Keep the snowball from going down the hill and enjoy!

[Amy Fakley]

“If my wife can accept me, I couldn’t give a damn if no one else does” approach.

I like this approach!
I find your story inspiring, and your wife sounds like a wonderful woman.

[Beverley Sims]

It is interesting I was more out years ago than I am now.
Trouble is family and work situation are different.
I am ok with my wife and I get out when traveling, but not around the local area much.

[reb.femme]

Hi and thanks for the replies

But it is good to care when there are family members that find out and they have reservations. In some ways, we do need to work with those close to us on the pace at which we do come out.

Agreed, one of my 3 sons will find this hard to digest. I've always been the man's man as far as he is concerned.

I like this approach!
I find your story inspiring, and your wife sounds like a wonderful woman.

Thank you for the compliment and yes, I think my wife is wonderful.

I am ok with my wife and I get out when traveling, but not around the local area much.

This is exactly how I am progressing at the moment. Don't want to bring anything negative to my wife's life because of my choices.

[Eryn]

Everybody finds their own equilibrium. Mine is one where I'm my male self most of the time, and have the opportunity to be out en femme a couple of times per week in nearby communities. My wife talks with friends on this board and with other CDing wives FTF, but doesn't talk about Eryn to friends in our own community or to her family. This level of separation is the most comfortable for us and safest for our livelihoods.

Others feel more need for their male world friends to be aware of their female sides. If this is important it should be addressed, but the toothpaste analogy should be carefully considered first!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Rebecca, It sounds like you made it over the first big hurdle good luck.

[Barbara Ella]

Rebecca, it is so relaxing when you find the equilibrium where those who know are at peace with who you are, and support you. Your wife is wonderful in her approach, and you are to be applauded for realizing her need for feeling good about you, and agreeing to let her do it. With that equilibrium comes the ability to do what you need to do and feel good about it, which makes everyone feel better.

keep your wife tuned in and make sure she always feels appreciated.

Hugs, Barbara