Danger willl robinson

[katie_barns]

I started to post this as a reply to "Passing - It's really BS" but didn't want to take form the OP.

I will try to make this short. I was in Walmart dressed and wanted to use the Red Box. There were 2 kids playing on it. The father was about 10 feet away so I asked him if they were going to rent a movie. He said no and motioned them away. They ignored him. So I said to the kids "Pardon me". All but one moved away. I repeated "Pardon me", at that point the last kid gave me a dirty look and moved away. I started my purchase. A woman approached me and asked "What did you say to my kids." I told her "Pardon me was all I said." At that point she said, "that better be all you said." She pissed me off. [My first mistake]. I then repeated the entire process and said if you don't believe me ask him; and pointed to the man still standing 10 feet away. She started screaming at me say things like no fagot is going to yell at my kids. I fired back asking what her problem was. [My second mistake]. At that point the man got between us and started saying all kinds of shit I won't repeat. I could see the hate in his eyes, and I was in danger. I turned and walked back outside where he followed me saying all kinds of stuff. He gave up when I crossed the roadway in front of the store going to the parking places.

The man didn't clock me at first but the women did right away. I honestly believe that this wouldn't have happened if I passed.

They were a bunch of rednecks, I know, and it was Walmart where rednecks tend to gather. Yes I did make some mistakes, and the only thing that got hurt was my feelings but it could have been a lot worst. It was a rare occasion too. I seldom have trouble when in public even though I don't always pass.

I post this not for sympathy, [I don't need it] but for others to take heed and be careful. Also to show that passing is not always BS but can be very important.
I just wanted to run to out to get a movie. I didn't go to the extremes I usually do to be as passable as possible. It cost me that time. But I did learn from my mistakes. I also learned to always walk away from conforntations, you almost never win.

[Tracii G]

You did nothing wrong Katie pardon me is is as nice as you can get.
Best just to walk away and wait for them to leave.People can be jerks.

[Roberta Young]

Katie, SOOOO sorry for what happened to You. You did the right thing. Society can be so unforgiving. Luv Roberta

[Vickie_CDTV]

Long ago when I started first going out, a friend of mine who had been dressing for a long, long time gave me some sage advice: whenever children of strangers are around, it is always risky. Some parents, who might otherwise ignore you in passing, bring the claws out when their children are involved. Even if the children are total brats and in the wrong, it doesn't matter, it will always bring out the worst in the parents and will overreact when a trans person is involved.

And yes, this is a good reason why passing can matter in certain circumstances.

[katie_barns]

Long ago when I started first going out, a friend of mine who had been dressing for a long, long time gave me some sage advice: whenever children of strangers are around, it is always risky. Some parents, who might otherwise ignore you in passing, bring the claws out when their children are involved. Even if the children are total brats and in the wrong, it doesn't matter, it will always bring out the worst in the parents and will overreact when a trans person is involved.

And yes, this is a good reason why passing can matter in certain circumstances.

Very well put. I learned this the hard way. But it is a very important piece of information for others.

[kimdl93]

I don't think you did anything wrong. Even if you had passed completely, this was a no-win situation. I personally would never tallk to children while I'm dressed (unless of course, the parent initiates the conversation). I'm always a bit self conscious around kids I don't know, even when I'm in drab, because people are understandably suspicious and protective of their children.

[Kate Simmons]

People like that think they are primarily entitled to everything and that everyone else, including minorities are on the shit list. I don't go near those types in any mode.

[Beverley Sims]

Sometimes I swallow my pride and I nearly avoid confrontation in female mode.
I have said it before a bit differently. "Little children and especially teenage girls are the ones that you do not want to clock you.
Avoid the mall at school breakup times.

[docrobbysherry]

A good cautionary reminder, Katie! For those of us that can't pass!

If we go out, dressing to blend may NOT be enuff! U may need to alter your personality to blend, also!

Yet another reason to dress thotlessly, happily, safely, and blend free in my closet!

[Tracii G]

Teens are by far the worst.

[May(be)]

that is a terrifying situation to find one's self in. I am glad you were able to recognize the situation was escalating and get out as fast as you could.

once my wife realized that this would be a reality for someone like us, she suggested that I take some self defense classes. she offered to sign me up for some women's self defense classes at the gym where she works. I thought this was a strange suggestion and became a little offended by the idea, which was a silly thing for me to do.
I am glad you are safe, and this is just another reason not to go to walmart. thanks for the lesson. I think that on this forum we often forget that many people are still hostile toward us.
Regardless, this post has inflamed my righteous indignation

[BRANDYJ]

And this incident demonstrates why most of us are not venturing out into the public arena. This could have ended up much worse then it did. Store security and or store management could have been called in by the raging parent. If she was that vicious, she could tell them that you tried to pick up her kids or something that would have had the police show up next. Or that dad, he could have gotten physical if provoked enough. I just don't need or want this kind of drama in my life. I'd probably keel over with a heart attack.

[katie_barns]

And this incident demonstrates why most of us are not venturing out into the public arena. This could have ended up much worse then it did. Store security and or store management could have been called in by the raging parent. If she was that vicious, she could tell them that you tried to pick up her kids or something that would have had the police show up next. Or that dad, he could have gotten physical if provoked enough. I just don't need or want this kind of drama in my life. I'd probably keel over with a heart attack.

I don't mean to scare anyone form going out. This was an isolated incident and if I had been a little smarter I could have avoided it. Vickie's post about children is very important. This was only meant for education. I will be out again probably this week only I will be a little smarter this time. Life is a learning experience, we never stop learning no mater how old we get.

[KlaireLarnia]

First of all I feel sorry for you. No one deserves s**t like that and I really understand why you would be upset at it. I would like to think that where I am in the UK that would not happen, I am sure in some places it would sadly. I thankfully have never been subject to more than a few snide comments and one girl who looked at me like I was an alien from Mars who was going to eat her!

Second I understand why you say that being able to pass may have avoided that situation as the woman may not have noticed but I personally reckon that she would have no matter how good you are. She could have been one of those people who take offence to a stranger telling her kids what to do and your voice would have given it away instantly either way I guess.

But surely if we all want the freedom to wear what we want, when we want then it is things like this at we have to face up to. If "rednecks" (which is a term I have never fully understood) like these realise that people like us are not going to bite or rise to the occasion then hopefully they will leave us alone. I hate to say it but it is the people to DO NOT pass or do not attempt to pass that will finally give us the freedom to wear what we want, and not those who try and pass to make your lives easier. I don't mean to be nasty there but the problem is not how you look or if you can pass, it is public perception and trying to pass is never going to change that - it is those like me who do not try and pass who will.

Either way I am again sorry you got treated like that. Sadly that is one of the many perils in what we do...

[Cynthia Anne]

It truley is a shame the way some parents let there kids run wild! But as always it's the parents that need corrected!

[bridget thronton]

Sorry I were treated unfairly (I too do not ever speak to stranger's kids no matter how I dress - never can tell when I will find a parent spoiling for a fight)

[Cheryl T]

Sounds like a couple of "WalMartians" missed the last photo session. Some people just can't control their kids and are offended if you say Anything to them.

[KellyCT2011]

I like going to the Redbox while "dressed". I have never had a problem, but if there is someone already using it, I just walk by, and go back a few minutes later.

[Michelle03]

I'm sorry you had this happen to you. Parents can be protective against anything they don't understand and therefore they take it as a threat. I do wish however ya'll would quit using the term "redneck" to group these people together. I consider myself as a redneck. I have a very small community upbringing on a ranch and I am a welder by day and a woman by night. I live in the middle of nowhere and love it. There are people from all walks of life that are not understanding of how others choose to live their lives. I am decently educated, love the outdoors, and do most of the things you would think of a redneck doing. All I'm asking is before throwing a derogatory term for someone out there think of how it might make them feel. I know each of ya'll don't want to be called certain things either. Just because they have done something in a negative manner to you don't lower yourself to their manner in name calling. Lets change the world together. We want to be able to be who we are without judgement and persecution from others and so do they. Just think of it. I'm not standing up for the couple that did this because they were wrong but that gives us no right to do the same to them. Mercy is given to the merciful. Thanks girls!

[Persephone]

Katie,

I am so sorry and upset about what happened to you! That is terrible.

Passing certainly does help in those situations, but even if you were a GG or a guy the same could have happened.

Personally, I think you only made one really dangerous mistake and that was when you walked out of the store. No telling what could have happened out there.

Always think of heading towards security, not away from it. In this case that probably meant walking towards the nearest security person or towards customer service.

Same in a car. Suspect you are being followed? Don't head for home and never pull into your driveway! Keep going and head for the police station.

So sorry for what happened!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Sophia Claire]

First, you did handle yourself very well. Getting mad was not an unreasonable reaction, the lady (I use the term quite loosely) treated you like some molester. I would have been angry too. After all, you just wanted a f***ing movie like anyone else in line at a redbox. Except for this bunch of trailer park filth (no offense to anyone who lives in a trailer) and their apparently poorly mannered curtain climbing hellspawn. No, getting mad was not an unreasonable reaction. And walking away was an extremely reasonable response.

Second, I don't know how things are around Louisville, but where I'm from you don't go to Wal-Mart before 2AM if you want to avoid trailer trash. Either Walgreens or CVS has a video rental machine. I might recommend one of those.

[STACY B]

I'm sorry you had this happen to you. Parents can be protective against anything they don't understand and therefore they take it as a threat. I do wish however ya'll would quit using the term "redneck" to group these people together. I consider myself as a redneck. I have a very small community upbringing on a ranch and I am a welder by day and a woman by night. I live in the middle of nowhere and love it. There are people from all walks of life that are not understanding of how others choose to live their lives. I am decently educated, love the outdoors, and do most of the things you would think of a redneck doing. All I'm asking is before throwing a derogatory term for someone out there think of how it might make them feel. I know each of ya'll don't want to be called certain things either. Just because they have done something in a negative manner to you don't lower yourself to their manner in name calling. Lets change the world together. We want to be able to be who we are without judgement and persecution from others and so do they. Just think of it. I'm not standing up for the couple that did this because they were wrong but that gives us no right to do the same to them. Mercy is given to the merciful. Thanks girls!

Come on Sissta ,,, Your a Coon Ass ,,,, I live close to you ,,, We all know that ,,, I didn't know there were Red Necks in Louisanna ? LOL,,,,,,

[Michelle03]

Texas side of LA. No rice, just trees and cattle. lol

[Badtranny]

I consider myself as a redneck.

Sorry Michelle, but I disagree with you completely. I was raised in Southern Louisiana, (New Iberia) and being the second generation to grow up in a little trailer in the middle of nowhere, I have a white trash pedigree.

I speak redneck and I generally don't have a problem with them but if I'm in a bar, in a certain part of town, and I hear somebody yell "yeehaw!" I know to get my tranny ass out of there. Using redneck as a pejorative is no different than using it as a term of endearment. If it offends you, then try not being so sensitive.

Nothing personal babe, but the whole language police thing is kind of a pet peeve of mine.

[Sally24]

I probably wouldn't have backed down but who knows how that would have turned out?

As a side issue. I have a great app on my phone that allows me to check and pay for any video in any redbox. It sort of a Virtual Cut In Line thing. Great for when people are taking all day at the box!