Does the doctor need to know?
Of all the thousands of cd's on here, how many of you have to your dr. i dont mean those of you who want to transtion but but those of you who feel that they carnt or wont tell there SO, but need somebody to spell the beans to, or some one else in orthoratiy to confide in. im just wondering with such a personal issue and if that person is comfable in his skin at such a long an ongoin level is it best to keep it secret?
The chances of a secret getting out is proportional to the square of the number of people who know it, and that applies to medical folks. They're supposed to keep things confidential, but you never can know what they might let slip.
I'd say that unless you have a medical reason for the doctor knowing it is best kept a secret. If you're doing something medically significant (hormones, different modes of relations, etc.) then the doctor might have need-to-know.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
I had to go to my docs recently and had an exam where she seen the shaved legs and possibly noticed bits of nail varnish i had not removed properly , i have seen her since and i think she was a little less friendly than normal . I would not mention it unless you had too .
finaly trying to mind this poor body that ive been thrashing for years .
Agree with Eryn. Remember there can be mental as well as physical reasons to let your doctor know. You can also insist that nothing be recorded in the medical record or that it be written in way that only the physician would be able to decipher it. Did that with a lot of patients.
If it isn't pertinent to a medical diagnosis, I don't see how it is relevant to being a topic of discussion to the physician.
Got a skin infection because you aren't washing off your makeup or something? Skin reaction to an adhesive? Stab yourself in the eye with a mascara wand? Sure.
Otherwise, they aren't your therapist.
—Mikaela
Tell, don't tell whatever. I told my doctor 6 years ago on my first visit. I told because I felt it was pertinent for her to know. Nothing more than the fact that it does contribute to your stress level (especially when you are like a mouse in the dark waiting for the cat to turn on the light) and she should also know your risks for anything. I am just one who thinks the medical professional should have all the pieces to the puzzle. (because I know when people leave out what they believe is a minor detail in their pet's life, the diagnosis can change. and when it fails it is never the patients fault according to them, it is the doctor's fault because you didn't have all the information).
Transgenderism is not a medical issue (except when it is like hormonal imbalance which may have a medical reason...but don't sweat that unless you are showing signs). My doctor actually talks to me about it every year. She sees how, over the last few years my being out and more open with it my blood pressure has dropped, my weight has stabilized, my skin has become better. She asks me how things are going, if I have new pictures. But then again I like my doctor. She really wants me to live longer and be happy so she likes to know all about ...me.
Since there isn't a lack of medical professionals out there, for everyone who distrusts the ability of the physician and their staff to keep your lifestyle a secret, then maybe you are going to the wrong doctor. I trust my doctor and her staff (and yes they know too because I told them) implicitly.
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
I've had numerious medical issues over the past few years. I have choosen not to tell my Doc's about my CD'ing......not revelant to my condition.
I didn't tell my doctor because I needed someone to tell. I told her because I felt it might have bearing on my health care. That's really all a doctor should be concerned with.
Color me different! I always go to the doctor fully dressed! I wore a skirt last week when I went! But I never ''tell'' them anything!
If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:
Unless your taking Estrogen your Doctor doesn't have/need to know. Even if you show up in panties, it's doubtful anyone at The Clinic would care. They've seen it all before, many times! Lori and some of the others are right. Perhaps candor is a useful trait, (for one's self) and it would be polite, but it ain't necessary. Shaved legs, arms, chest....it's not anyone's business.
"Coming out of The Closet" around here, never means you have to spill your guts to everyone and anyone. Y-O-U gets to choose whom, how, and when. Your Doc is probably way down The Priority List.
Peace and Love, Joanie
Last edited by sterling12; 08-20-2012 at 07:40 PM.
Disagree 100%. No reason a Dr. would ever need to know unless you are self medicating with hormones.Originally Posted by Laura912
It's absolutely none of the Dr's business.
Mine knows and is fine with it.
Don't tell anyone who doesn't need to know. The more you tell, the more likely someone will 'accidently' slip in a conversation, and bingo, you're out! Remember, the number of people who can keep something a secret? One.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
My wife told our doctor when she started to have anxiety attacks that were related to my crossdressing. His response to her was that it's no big deal. When talking to or dealing with me it has been a non-issue.
BTW, he initially prescribed some meds for the anxiety attacks, which did not work, then referred my wife to counciling, which was effective.
Grace,
Bobbi
"Talking is sharing. Listening is caring."
I didn't tell at first as I didn't see a reason, but did later on. He ran down the logical medical questions that applied and we discussed some other possibly related medical issues. Then we moved on. As a note, my doctor is very much into not just looking at the particular issue, but how it affects you in other areas and the family (a true D.O.).
I went to one of my wife's appointments with her and was dressed as we had plans but I didn't have time in between for changing. So I just went and it wasn't a big deal. At the time I did it, I was extremely comfortable with my doctor (the best I probably have ever had) and even if he got loose lips, which wasn't likely, it would still take a lot for someone I know to hear.
Learn from my mistakes, if you can tell your wife, then if needed get a good therapist. A family doctor probably won't understand or know what to do with the information. If you can't tell your wife then maybe a close friend. Don't forget you also have all the support here.
i love how so many are so protective about not telling. Here is the thing, IF you asked the question of IF you should or should not then it IS an issue for you in some form. You asked the question. You want to tell somebody or you would just go to the doctor as a male. Or, go in your panties., you will take them off anyway. Is that the issue? Because you wear panties? They don't care. Shaved legs? They don't care. Make up? Nail polish? They do not care.Unless you are doing some thing that would be dangerous to you or those around you, what you do on your own time is not a concern to them. Use use drugs? Then they should be told, You drink too much? they need to know. You have unprotected sex with multiple partners...you should tell. You wear a teddy bear outfit and hang out in the mall...THEY DON'T CARE. But when you ask the question here it must have some sort of bearing on your health. You stress over it, you have a fear of being found out which can lead to you doing things that can lead to health issues. Just telling your doctor may give you a little peace of mind. They can tell you you are not a bad person, that what you do is not unusual, that it isn't a mental illness. That it can be a good stress release, that you are NOT gay, whatever.
So I say again, tell, don't tell, whatever. If you need to tell someone, your doctor is a lot better than your neighbor. I love how so many here say the secret will leak out when you tell your doctor. I can promise you that if this does occur and you find out, your doctor will be telling their bartender about how they USED to be a doctor.
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Unless you want to be on estrogen or you have some emotional or behavioral issues that effect you health or your spouse's your Doctor is apt to have more pressing issues to contend with on any given day and not be very interested in what you want to wear or shave.
If one really feels so guilty she has to share with someone, perhaps a Catholic confession booth? Or better yet do just what you have done, share with the Crossdress family.
There is NO reason to tell later on unless you're self medicating.
The doctor only needs to know the facts M'am.
Medication is his specialty not physical things.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
From a medical student perspective:
Does your physician need to know? Probably not.
Should you tell your physicians? It depends. If it's something that's causing stress then you probably should tell. Heck, just telling your physician could provide the therapeutic release you want/need. In reality, your physician probably doesn't care in the sense of "judgement."
We all have our own quirks and idiosyncrasies. One of my many quirks is making sure my front door is locked especially if I'm going to be gone for a while (like when I'm in the hospital for over 24 hours). Probably more often than not on those days I'll get my car loaded and go back to check the door just to make sure, even though I'm 99.99995% sure I remembered to lock it. Does my physician need to know that? Probably not, because it isn't decreasing my ability to function. If I made 10 trips back and forth, including when I'm just going down the street for food (I basically never feel a need to recheck when leaving for short trips), then I probably should because it's decreasing my ability to function and affecting my mental health.
So... is your cross dressing affecting your ability to function or causing a significant amount of stress?
I remember this surgeon who liked me got some hints of my CDing.
she did not like it and she became less friendly.
I had to switch doctors.
I now make sure I remove all traces of my CDing before going to work or going to see a stranger or professional
Does the doctor need to know? I don't think he/she needs to know but if they find out I don't really care. I will not change my habits just so my Dr won't find out. I am out only to my wife but I don't believe the Dr will spread it around. At this time I don't think my Dr knows even though I have been wearing panties to my appointments for the last 2 years (he has never seen them). I will soon be looking for aother Dr to treat other things my present Dr doesn't and plan to bring the CD up because I want to find a Dr that is compassionate and careing. If they seem a little uncomfortable with it then I will move on.
According to my psych, my PC doctor doesn't need to know that I crossdress. The only thing she needs to know is what medications I'm taking. Also tell her that I am working with Dr. ? And being treated for whatever. If I start taking hormones, I'm thinking that I'll be getting them from my PC doctor, so she'll already know everything she needs to know.
Doctors are bound by patient confidentiality, so it is doubtful that he or she would blab your secret. But the question is, why would you tell the doctor? Is there a reason that would them do their job, or would you be telling only for your own reasons? How would the doctor benefit from knowing? If not at all, then they don't need to know.
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