Neither male nor female - Intergender

[Byllie]

Given I'm a biological male, who enjoys wearing feminine clothing (note, I did NOT say women's clothing), I figured this area would be the best place to post my thoughts.

I do enjoy wearing feminine items, as well as masculine items, together. Genderwise, I see myself as neither male nor female. Therefore, to say my wearing feminine items is crossdressing seems, to me, to be a misnomer. Crossdressing means one wears clothing counter to their gender. Given I see myself as a gender mix, my appropriate attire should also be a mix.

And there's the rub. I do not wish to become a woman as I do not see myself as solely female. I also do not wish to pretend to be a woman, as that does not match who I am. I simply wish to be me, and associate with others who share my belief that each of us is part male and part female, and that this is a gender continuum and not a bipolar classification.

So, until crossdressers.com decides to create a space for those like me, I'll simply continue to hang out in this area. And please, don't get me started about names such as genderqueer. <grin>

[STACY B]

Yea me to ,,,I am Trans Lite by the way,,, We are all different that what makes us Special ,,, Welcome to the club . Thats the Beauty of this Place ? You can be all you can be ,,Or all you want to be ,, Or what ever you want to be at anytime you want ,,So just pick ya a story an jump in ,,I do ,,,LOL,,,

[Byllie]

Thanks, Stacy, I needed that. Sometimes I feel so out of it all. I used to attend a crossdressers group, but felt out of place because dressing fully as a woman did not work for me. I have a beard, and they teased me about it. Did I make them question their own identities? If I did, then good for me!

[JohnH]

Here is my two cents worth:

I consider myself to be both masculine and feminine. On one hand I am on M2F HRT and developing a feminine figure. Yet I have a voice that is a deep basso profundo that I intend to retain for speaking and singing. So you are not the only person that is intergendered.

Added section: As you can see I have retained my masculine name and prefer to be referred with masculine pronouns, and I still think of myself as a man.

John

[JamieRog]

Thank you! I thought I was weird even among the strange for not feeling quite the same about myself. I went to a meeting of CDs and TG and TS folks and thought I just felt out of place because I was the youngest. Then I realized I felt out of place because my 'gender style' wasn't the same as any of theirs. I was starting to feel weird for not having any real desire to change my name or sex.

[Byllie]

In the best of all worlds, we could express ourselves, via clothing, makeup, behavior, any way we wished, as long as it did not hurt anyone. But that's not the world we live in. As a society, we tend to favor the either/or model, and apply it to everything we experience. Still, that's not reality. Every person is a unique blend, a single point on a tapestry that connects us all. No one has the right to tear that fabric; no one.

It amazes me, sometimes, how those who wish to be excepted - gay, lesbian, bisexual, TG, TS, CD - are also so quick to compartmentalize who each person is, or rather who they THINK everyone else should be. If we could all learn to accept each other AS IS, think of how different the world might be.

[Tracii G]

Yep TG light here too like Stacy says.
I mix clothing everyday so I'm intergendered.

[sissystephanie]

Each of us was born with a certain gender. That is a fact that cannot be disputed, unless you were born with both genders. That does happen, but is very rare. If you were born a male and wear feminine clothes, you are a crossdresser!! You can call yourself what ever you like, but you are still a crossdresser. I am a male, and I definitely am also a crossdresser. I do not wear makeup or a wig (I am almost bald), but I do wear feminine clothes out in public almost every day. And I never have had any problems with doing that, even though I go everywhere dressed like that!

I do accept people AS IS, unless a particular person really offends me! And that is really hard to do!

Byllie, you are a crossdresser, whether you call yourself that or not! But I still like you and hope to hear more from you!!

[Tracii G]

I accept everyone as they are, just some I choose not to be around because of their personality.

[max]

Sissystephanie you are confusing sex and gender

[NathalieX66]

Intergendered? Dual-gendered? Bi-gender? .....that's me in a nutshell.
I will not kill off one for the sake of the other. I am both genders.
Crossdressing for thrill means nothing to me. I play it on both sides of the gender spectrum. It is me. The person you see in the flesh is what you get.
I'll be willing to do HRT, but not have any surgery.

[Byllie]

Each of us was born with a certain gender. That is a fact that cannot be disputed ...

Yes, we were each born with a gender AND a sex, both of which are fluid and located on a continuum.

Sissystephanie you are confusing sex and gender

Thank you for the deft reply!

[Tracii G]

My question why do you have to fit anywhere? You are saying you don't fit in anywhere so you will stay in this area.What does that mean exactly?
Trying to take TG-ism to an esoteric level is pointless.There are way too may nooks and crannies in the whole spectrum.
I am me and whatever that is and I'm in a happy place.
I tend to think people that say they just don't fit in anywhere are using that as a reason to blame the world for their problems or shortcomings.
Life is what you make it and if you want to feel like you don't belong then its your fault.
I'm weird,quirky,different but I have lots of friends.Why? Because I get out and mingle with the masses.

[katie_barns]

Can I choose all the above. That way I will fit in no matter what I am. I get so confused when things get philosophical.

[Diversity]

I consider myself a crossdresser, as I wear femine clothing. Nothing says one can't combine both masculine and feminine clothing - in fact women do it all the time! In my definition, I figured I am a crossdresser merely because I 'cross the dressing boundaries' and don feminine apparel from time to time (as often as I can) and in the manner that I wish.
I don't feel I am 'intergender', however, as I am a male and even when I am dressed as a female, I still act like a male. I just flat-out enjoy wearing women's clothing! It's fun, it's different, and it is so diverse (hence my name). No matter what, Byllie, just enjoy yourself as you are and enjoy the journey. At least all of us in this forum have the courage to enjoy our lives, as we feel we want to. This is a great forum and one which is really open to and accepting of all types of diversity which is not harmful to others.
Glad you joined!
Di

[wilt575]

I consider myself a crossdresser, as I wear femine clothing. Nothing says one can't combine both masculine and feminine clothing - in fact women do it all the time! In my definition, I figured I am a crossdresser merely because I 'cross the dressing boundaries' and don feminine apparel from time to time (as often as I can) and in the manner that I wish.
I don't feel I am 'intergender', however, as I am a male and even when I am dressed as a female, I still act like a male. I just flat-out enjoy wearing women's clothing! It's fun, it's different, and it is so diverse (hence my name). No matter what, Byllie, just enjoy yourself as you are and enjoy the journey. At least all of us in this forum have the courage to enjoy our lives, as we feel we want to. This is a great forum and one which is really open to and accepting of all types of diversity which is not harmful to others.
Glad you joined!
Di

I'm kind of the same I combine clothing ouite often but there are times when I'm one or the and feel comfortable dressed as female or male, don't know why, but have strong desire usually second or third week in month to dress and just act more female than other times like an obsession or some thing no problem still accepted as me.

[Beverley Sims]

That means that if I like wearing ant costumes I must be a crossant?

[Tracii G]

So, until crossdressers.com decides to create a space for those like me, I'll simply continue to hang out in this area. And please, don't get me started about names such as genderqueer. <grin>[/QUOTE]

See here is that mindset I don't get. Demanding CD.com make a special place for him because he is more different that anyone else here.
You need to stop over thinking what you are.You are a cross dresser plain and simple just a different form of it.
I think I'm the same as you for the most part but I don't take myself that seriously.

[bridget thronton]

I have a medical librarian friend who taught me the gender/sex space is continuous over about 16 dimensions - she has very convincing observations and even then your position is likely go float

[max]

Tracii G, what is it that makes all the sections we have legitimate but one for people in the middle like Byllie illegitimate?

[Jolene Robertson]

I think all of us on here mix most of the time. I know I do and have for years. I have worn a wig full time for 30 years and wear Ladies jeans or shorts and under dress everyday. About the only thing I don't wear out is a dress or skirt and bra. We don't need to try and put everyone in a neat little box, if we do then we'll all be in a box alone.

Jolene

[noeleena]

Hi,

Some of us are intersexed so its about both male / female for some of us is it just about one or the other depends on a number of issues & theres many none are straight forward very mixed & very different.

How we live our life will depend on how we ....need .... to . i dont come as a dresser or trans nore do many of my intersex friends, how we are percived is another matter,

My friends & thats many many friends just accept im a woman whos different , i did not go into all the intersex talk as all that does is confuse people & they dont need that. too involved any way. those who need to know are given the info.
& i just leave it there,

& by the way its not as rare as some think , its just not a hot topic thats all. unless your one with in one of our groups & its only for intersex people .

How you need to live is what you must be happy with if not its no life at all find it live it & enjoy what you have,

...noeleena...

[Marlana]

Wow! This seems to be spiraling into an argument. I ( and By that I mean just me) think that if you wear a bra/no bra, panties/boxers, hose/no hose, blouse/shirt, skirt/slacks/pants, heels,flats/shoes,boots inter-mixed, then you're a crossdresser. GG's are crossdressers at one time or another. Tell me not one of you have ever worn a mans piece of clothing at one time or another. If Byllie wants to underdress, then that does constitute being a crossdresser. So what if theres a beard involved, he/she doesn't want to be passing as a woman. Crossdresser/intergender whatever IMHO!

[bobbimo]

This is amazing. I was laying in bed this morning thinking about "cross dressing". Its not just wearing the clothes, since we, or at least I (CD'S) go for the whole appearance. Breast forms, make up, shaving. all the stuff that enhances the clothes part. Some days I feel lazy and just put on panties and a sun dress. But just a few trips past a mirror and I am doing my eyes, lipstick, fix my hair, earrings. and then the bra etc. and I am Bobbi.
I just cant wear a dress and see a bearded Bob looking back from the mirror.
So I hear ya Byllie, and know where your coming from, But for me, its letting the woman within come out.

[linda allen]

Each of us was born with a certain gender. That is a fact that cannot be disputed, unless you were born with both genders. That does happen, but is very rare. If you were born a male and wear feminine clothes, you are a crossdresser!! You can call yourself what ever you like, but you are still a crossdresser.

That's telling it like it is. The only exeption would be for someone who has become a female through surgery and hormone replacement. even in that case, your DNA, bone structure, and some internal organs would still be male.

For many years, I didn't consider myself a "crossdresser", just a man who crossdressed occasionally (when I had the chance). In the last several months, since coming out to my wife, I am now proud to call myself a crossdresser.