Hi Abby,
Long time no see!
I know I am a little late seeing this post, but haven't been on this site for a will.
So here's my poor advice. Stop trying to be a T-girl and just be the wonderful you! The SRO is no place to find love at. Yes my best friend did fine his girl there, but only by a fluke. The people that posted here gave you some good advice, get out with real people and be you. You are a great person. If I was not already married I would date you.
Look at me, when I cam out and went full time I moved away and live my life full time as a women in a cowboy town and yes at lest once a week someone hits on me. So much for straight men! Miss you and Brook! XOXO!
Best Wishes
Love Robin
Was all that guy asked was for you to wear a blonde wig and a lot of makeup? Did he have a lot of experience with TG folk? Might he have had a not-quite-right idea of what you were about with that? Maybe he thought that by engaging you with the girliest things he could think of he was being supportive and accepting?
Yes, I know it's not nice to be treated as an object unexpectedly... But it's not a sure fire sign that guy would be a total jerk, either. It was probably too soon for him to be asking things for possible kinks, but you said yourself that sometimes you give awkward, rushing-it first impressions, too. So long as you don't get a creepy, 'not safe' vibe... Why not give them a little longer a try after you clearly explain that their request was inappropriate and why?
One of my best friends has been with her guy for about four years, he is super sweet and thoughtful... And he started out by trying just to hook up with her, acted like a bit of a pig... Until he got to know her better and realized how awesome she is, and started to be himself around her. If he'd acted the way he did around me I totally would have passed him by, but y friend gave him a longer tryout in case he'd get over the awkward, and it paid off big time for them.
It's just amazing how many supposedly straight men out there want to play out their sexual fantasies with TSs! I have a friend who is TS, she meets guys that she believes are into her for who she is, only to discover they're looking for a "girl with benefits". It's discouraging to say the least.
It doesn't hurt to always keep your eyes open, but I agree to not make it your main focus. You can instead devote some energy to making good friends to do things with and then your circle of friends can expand and you might meet someone through them. Can you also hang out with the people you work with, or maybe volunteer somewhere? Take classes? Start engaging in a sport? ... go to more museums?
Reine
Guess what Robin....I dated Brook! She eventually gave me the boot. I think I was her "practace girl." Still friends with her though! Nice to see that you are on here! I dont go to the SRO anymore. Let's just say, I have an issue with the bartender. Hope you are well and miss your face!
Rite? We say in the support group I go to that a lot of guys are just "looking for a penis in a pretty package!" And it's so true! I did decide to stop looking and have been doing things with my friends, and you are correct, thats how I met the people I dated in my past. I think I was/am just tired of being alone so was looking for anyone to make me feel "wanted." Now I'm just going to go with the flow and see what happens. I did see a BEAUTIFUL woman at a juice bar yesterday. I soooo wanted to talk to her, but....well....being shy is what Abby's do best!
I'm a little bit shy, a bit strange, and a little bit manic...