People with ugly attitudes

[sterling12]

My guess? He was in a bad-ass mood, cause' he probably just got his paycheck and he realized that he will probably always be a loser! That, put him in a bad frame of mind, and you were a convenient target. His Ill Manners probably got him nothing bu contempt....from everybody in the vicinity.

For what it's worth, if that was The Wife or GF, they won't stay together very long. Nobody except a masochist, wants to put up with someone with that kind of mindset. Just too much of a Downer!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Marie-Elise]

I'm assuming we're talking about this happening in the good old USA.

There are a lot of folks, both male and female who have trouble accepting anyone different from themselves. Laws and political correctness have taken most of the open hatred underground so you don't often hear someone making such an obviously biggoted comment about black or hispanic people anymore. Gay people are becomming more excepted or at least tolerated because of organized efforts on their part.

As crossdressers, we have no organized political clout and are often mistaken as "gay" or "perverts" just because people don't understand us. And we scare them.

As a practical matter, you have to have pretty thick skin to go out in public as a "dressed" crossdresser. The odds are, if you stay in one place too long, someone will say or do something offensive. It's not right, but it's reality. Think about how black people must have felt in the 50s and 60s when they were first allowed in formerly "white" schools, restaurants, clubs, etc.

This is right on the money. I hate the fact that people continue to be bigoted. However, that is a reality we all have to live with.

[Beverley Sims]

Tracii, your'e wearing womens clothes... You must be gay.
It is a bit of a shock to be abused inside your comfort zone.
It eats at the confidence you build up greatly.
With changing attitudes I find less and less people even looking and those that I have to communicate with dont even bat an eyelid now.
Just hope for better days.

[Megan Briana]

Im way too much of a sarcastic girl, but when messing with someone who already has a big chip on his shoulder (called ignorance) it is best to do what you have to and be able to walk away. Nicely done, and kudos for a cool head.

[larry]

"one happened to be an off duty police woman she let him have it verbally." Yeah ! This is great !!

[kimdl93]

I think it was wonderfully good timing that an off duty policewoman happened to be standing nearby....and gave it to him! That guy will probably never change, but at least he got a good lecture on decent behavior from the policewoman. Interesting that it happened to be a female police officer, because a pretty significant number are gay themselves.

PS. Most people don't feel the need to publically announce their objections to gay people. One might reasonably wonder if this guy was so insecure with his own sexuality or gender identification that he felt the need to loudly profess his bigotry. There's some research that suggests those who are most noisily anti-gay are often those who are hiding or in denial about their sexuality.

I used to do the same thing. When I was in the Army, I was needlessly critical of a gay guy in our company that was seeking a discharge. Another, more reasonble fellow, asked me "why it bothered me so much". the implication was pretty clear...and he was right. I was clearly overcompensating for my own uncertain sexuality.

[Ashley D.]

You handled that in a great way.
After all he was probley Jealous of you being out beautiful and happy.

[whowhatwhen]

Walking to my car he said all f%^&*g fags need to be shot.

In an ideal world that man would be removed from society as he is clearly a danger to others, and advocating violence != free speech.
Good to hear you're safe though and were able to keep composed and cool headed.

What did he look like?
I have a theory (stereotype) in mind that I'm just dying to know if he fits.

But, if it's any consolation maybe he'll perish in some meth lab explosion.

[Jenny Doolittle]

The reality of this incident should be to substiture the word "bigote" for "Fag" and that would be correct.

[Tracii G]

The best way to describe the guy as far as looks is what I call the Larry the cable guy look but add about 75 lbs.
His wife was very pretty and petite.An odd match but I don't judge people.
I'm a smart a$$ and usually have a response to EVERYTHING but this guy was mad you could see it in his eyes almost a rage type look so I kept my mouth shut.
All I heard from the police woman was "Sir you need to calm down"and "have you been drinking?"
She never asked me anything as I stood next to my car so I left.
We do have a fairness law in my city so I hope she informed him so he never does this again.
I feel sorry for his wife I really do.

[linda allen]

In an ideal world that man would be removed from society as he is clearly a danger to others,.......

Well, women can be biggots also. Sometimes when I hear people talking about some subjects, I have to just excuse myself and walk away. I'm not going to change their outlook on life by talking to them.

[Chickhe]

I like the police woman's response...'have you been drinking?'.... a subtle way, if the guy is sober, to tell him he is acting poorly and keep it up, you will be taken down to the station for some tests...

You can't always reason with crazy people, but sometimes you can get a knowing look from their partner that says...'his breakfast will include something extra tomorrow...'.

[bridgetta]

do you carry pepper spray?

[GeminaRenee]

Sorry to hear about your experience. Sometimes, living in the tolerant world of my own mind from day to day, I forget just how crude and obnoxious and unevolved other people can be.

Glad to hear, however, that you handled things so well. The best thing you can really do is blow it off, and leave the oaf to his own life. Look at it this way - walking around with an attitude like that, and treating other people like that - it's a pretty safe bet that he's got some unresolved issues of his own bouncing around inside that head of his. Be glad that you get to live every day with a freedom regarding yourself that so many people will never even begin to know.

(:

[Lorileah]

Tracii it wasn't your voice. it wasn't what you were wearing. It was the fact that some people use wayyyyyy more oxygen than they should be allowed. You did good. i would have probably said something back to him when he made the first gay comment. The first amendment gives him the right to be an ass. His mother gave him the bad manners. His wife gave him leeway to say that to start ( she evidently lets him get away with worse when they are alone..poor woman). Maybe something will give him a rash that can't be cured....karma is a a b*tch.

[KellyJameson]

I have members of my family that are ignorant like that and I have not had contact with them since high school.

Every day I give thanks to the Gods that I escaped that fear driven ignorance and saved myself.

He simply is a coward threatened by his own shadow, a child afraid of what may be under his bed.

Intolerance is the projection of selfish fear by people who will never feel safe.

He will go to the grave this way, what a waste of life to be born into ignorance and than to die in ignorance.

He is his own curse.

[Tracii G]

I'm just glad it didn't go too far and end up in a fight.
Both of use could have been arrested so thats not good.
I can defend myself just fine its just the matter of his shear size over me.I'm 5'6"153 lbs and he was 6'4' approx and well over 300lbs.

[bridgetta]

its cause they are jealous.. all guys realize how fun it would be to transform.. they are afraid to let themselves be free. and theyre mad at us for having the courage.. thats the way it is.. knowing that makes you stronger than them and have the upper hand because in the end .. We are the tougher rebels.. they are the chickens..

but the best defense is still to RUN!

[StarrOfDelite]

The Uniform Code of Military Justice has a specific section which prohibits provoking words and gestures, and I believe that many states have similar laws. If such a statute exists where you live, it certainly sounds to me like the person in question violated it. Sadly, some states still don't include gender identification in the statutes which enhance penalties for crimes motivated by hate and bias.

As some of the posters have noted, this type of situation always has the potential to go downhill very fast and very far! You did well to just continue your business and ignore him as much as possible.

[Tracii G]

Sometimes its best to avoid if possible.
My Karate Sensi always told us first line of defense is to take yourself out of the situation if you can.
My only hope would have been to strike just below the knee but that breaks the lower leg and shatters his knee cap.I didn't want to do that because he didn't deserve that.
Yes he is an ignorant bigot and a homophobe but I can't change that.
Yes Starr my city does have a fairness law and he did violate that no question.
I'm sure the police woman informed him of that.

[Saffron]

In one way, that's a great comeback, but in reality, it could well be seen as a challenge to the guy's manhood that just has to be answered, probably with violence, especially since you just embarassed him in front of his wife and possibly other people. People have been shot and killed for less.

You could ask the manager to speak to the guy or just ask to be moved to another part of the restaurant. Or, just ignore him.

Of course I was only joking.

still in Europe the risk of being killed is considerably lower.

[Jorja]

Good job of keeping your cool and avoiding confrontation. One could only hope that someday this jerks mouth will overload his a$$ and he will die of lead poisoning.

[whowhatwhen]

Good job of keeping your cool and avoiding confrontation. One could only hope that someday this jerks mouth will overload his a$$ and he will die of lead poisoning.

From the description his love of Big Macs will get him first.
:P

Seriously though, ideally he would be taken for psychological evaluation and prevented from ever purchasing a firearm.
Disagreeing with gay people is one thing, advocating the death of innocents is an entirely different can of worms and I have no doubt that man will commit a hate crime(s) in the future.

[Voulez-Vous]

Sorry I have to rant here.
Tonight was such a downer.
Went out to eat dinner at a place I frequent and have never had a problem.
A young couple were seated at a table across from me.
I was wearing girls jeans,go either way top sandals and pink toenails.Casual as always.I was already seated when they came in btw.
The guy gave me a few nasty looks and said to his wife damn gay people are everywhere.His wife said be quiet its none of your business.
I smiled back and said thank you,she smiled back.
I gave the waitress my order and the guy said yeah he is a fruit.Grrr
I know my voice tends to make people think that but what an A$$.
I so wanted to say something but I held my composure.
Got done and was leaving and they left about the same time. I was thinking CRAP I am going to have to deal with this clown.
Walking to my car he said all f%^&*g fags need to be shot.
There were people waiting in line outside and one happened to be an off duty police woman she let him have it verbally.
Just a rant I hate dealing with people like this.

Welcome to the real world.

[Julogden]

He sounds like one of those closet cases who find themselves attracted to us and can't deal with being attracted to another male, so he reacts with a violent attitude toward the person who made him feel attraction.

You handled the situation well, frustrating though it may have been.

Carol