I have not purged in over 20 years but have also been recently dealing with guilt associated with having a new daughter in the house. My wife and I both want me to be all Dad to her so it has caused stress. But purge, not gonna happen learned the lesson about that years ago the hard way. So many nice things down the drain. Gotta somehow manage it. So many common threads amongst us its amazing.
Wow, a lot of forum members will be surprised to learn that crossdressing is a simple choice, and to avoid relationship problems (with wife, other family, job, friends, etc.), just purge and be done with it. And we thought we were compelled from within, either by a strong feminine identity or sexual excitement.Originally Posted by Kate Simmons
Sometimes you have to decide what is more important to you, dressing or your family. As far as how to stop purging, you just stop plain and simple although depending on the situation, you may have to be creative.
Yes, I like crossdressing, but like many others, acknowledge that life would be easier without it.
We could choose to quit crossdressing, like we could choose to quit eating, but at what cost?
I've only ever purged once and that was when I went into the service. I didn't have any place at home to store my stuff so I had to get rid of it. It was heart rending.
We puge because we feel shame, guilt, something we need not feel. We must realize we are who are, are lives will be better & fuller if we do.
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It seems everyone has already given the best answers for why we purge, shame and guilt. Here is how to stop it.
now repeat after me:
purging is silly
a waste of time and money
the next time i purge i will purge all my guy underwear and cut them up and use them for cleaning rags
a metaphore for wiping away all the memories of when i thought i was not a girl
You wanted to know The Best Way to Deal with A Purge? (Or, at least The Urge to Purge)
Simple enough! The Strategy is.....wait,wait,wait,wait,wait,wait,wait,wait.... and then, wait some more! If you don't Act upon your Desire to Purge, it almost always goes away, you feel better about yourself, and you have still got your Stuff!
As others have recommended, store those things away, put them out of sight, forget about The Current Situation. Then, when you are ready, and you will know when that When is, you can get your stuff back out, and you won't have to go through A Grief Process about your Lost Pretties. Most all situations have a solution, it might not always be the optimal solution, but that's The Nature of Life. Hasty Acts nullify that possibility of finding any Solution except The Hasty Act. Do you really want to waste your time on a Bad Solution?
Peace and Love, Joanie
My wife would shoot me if I cut up the pink briefs she got me to wear to the doctor.
Purging is forever... do not do it! It always comes back and costs $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Jayne, guilt is in our heads not our souls... purging achieves nothing other than short term relief. The evidence is that it always comes back. Once I accepted this, I stopped purging... now I have too many clothes (a by-product)... it comes back stronger each time....!???
In 40+ years of dressing I've purged 5 or 6 times for various reasons but keep coming back. Better to hide everything away in the attic because you WILL come back and it will be expensive !!! Just my opinoin.
I have purged in the past 2 times. Don't do it I miss some of the clothes that I had. I am now slowly getting it all back. My wife loves me being Tiffany, I'm never going to go back to being a guy ever again. People were just born to be who they are so if you feel like you need to stop just store your stuff cause I promise all the feels and everything will come back
[SIZE="3"]The very essence of being a parent is sacrificing our own desires for the well-being of our children. I must side with your wife here and advise you to set CDing aside for a few years and enjoy your girls as the grow up. When they're off to college or married or out of the house, you can resume CDing with no guilt etc. as long as your wife is still good with it. In the mean time get another hobby to occupy your time! Most women sort of have this built in parenting gene. We men have to allow ours to develop a little before it truly blossoms into parenthood.[/SIZE]
Lynn Marie
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I appreciate all of the responses received thus far. To avoid purging I think my best bet would be to try and store everything in tupperware containers in my attic. It sounds like that would help me get rid of the initial guilt but I am not doing anything stupid.
This is the 2nd or 3rd time I have purged and I really do wish I could get it all back. I think the hardest part of purging is looking back on how much you have grown as a person in building your wardrobe. All of my shoes were bought in person and not online. It took a lot for me to get the courage together to go to a shoe store and by size 11 heels...especially when the girl behind the counter probably guessed they were for me. I am not saying I wouldn't do it again but my shoes always reminded me of my coming to accept myself for who I am.
Yep. Just find a good hiding spot. Take care of yourself. Be gentle with your emotions
Hi Julie, That sounds like an expensive lesson learned.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
Back when I was living with my parents, I had purchased nice hard luggage that had combination locks on it, and whenever I felt like throwing anything out, simply put it away for a while instead. No one ever asked, because I had the forethought to give everyone else luggage as presents over the years, that way everyone had their own. If anyone ever asked what was in it, I had planned to tell them that either 1. it was older out of style out of season clothes, or, 2. It was things I didn't fit in, but was trying to lose weight to wear it again. But no one ever asked.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Ive only ever purged once. Years back when my GF didn't know about Samantha, and this was pure guilt of keeping a secret.
Since she learned about me Ive never wanted to purge, never even thought about it.
Your guilt is fueled by secrecy and lies, remove the secrets from the equation and this removes the guilt. Remove the guilt and you remove the desire to purge.
So?
You need to introduce your crossdressing to your children. Tactfully.
How you do this will be up to you, you know your kiddy-winks best, but if you don't want the world to know, I'd keep it secret untill they can too.
Failing this option, you could come to a conclusion that few of us ever reach and live out which is "Who f**king cares what I do if it doesn't hurt anyone"
Some people (usually god-botherers) might take it upon themselves to inform you that you're confusing your children.
I disagree with this, I take the stance that youre raising a more open minded, worldly child because of it.
I wish you the best
Samantha -x-
