WELL, now everyone knows!!

[May(be)]

So, I work professionally as a curator, but I am also in school to get my Master's degree in Curatorial Practice. Today was the first day; show and tell!! YAY! So, I was thinking that because I am embarking on this journey, I should tell all of my contemporaries (For the record, there are 9 women and no other men in my program) just in case this journey might lead to awkwardness down the road.

I was going to tell them all as part of my Powerpoint. I asked my confidant, a lesbian in my program, if it is wise. She told me that she wouldn't do it, but because I feel the need, I should. Well, I chickened out and didn't put anything in my powerpoint.

Long story short, we use one computer to connect to a projector to share presentations. As it was not my own computer, and I didn't have a flash drive, I sent it to myself over email and then logged in to access it. I made sure that there were no messages from this website on the main screen of my gmail. Unfortunately, I left my email logged in and in 2 presentations someone else tried to get to their presentation through their gmail account only to find out that I was still logged in.

What was the first email on the list? A BRAND NEW notification that I had a private message waiting for me on CROSSDRESSERS.COM!!! One girl says "does that say cross dresser?". I froze. I had nothing to say and the silence was thick and pregnant. One girl eventually changed the subject by saying "do you remember when everyone saw your baby butt in one of your pictures?"

Great, she changed the subject by bringing up another time I was exposed in front of the whole group...

I was mortified. I wish I had just put it in my introduction so I would have been in control of how the secret came out. Total disaster.

No one has talked to me since. That was about 4 hours ago.

[reb.femme]

Hi May,

I think that is probably the best example of the phrase 'sh1t happens'.
Think I would have been absolutely mortified had that been me but it is now a fete accompli.

I think the lack of conversation is probably down to the girls feeling awkward too.
Looks lik the time is now for your not so secret secret to be disclosed.

Rebecca x

[StaceyJane]

Well you could have said it was spam. I think everything will be alright, it ill give the ladies in your class something to talk about tonight but they'll get over it.

[xdressed]

I would have calmly said a friend of mine is a crossdresser and that I joined the forum to better understand and support them. I've also made it so that I don't get email notifications from this site incase something like that happens.

[Erina]

You could dismiss it as Spam, perhaps they already presume it is Spam. Perhaps telling is risky if this is your first day, you don't know each other and you are going to be working together.
I don't know any commonly negative outcomes from telling. But there are good outcomes as well. If this is out of your hands then you should think optimistically and not worry.

[May(be)]

Well you could have said it was spam. I think everything will be alright, it ill give the ladies in your class something to talk about tonight but they'll get over it.

I would have calmly said a friend of mine is a crossdresser and that I joined the forum to better understand and support them. I've also made it so that I don't get email notifications from this site incase something like that happens.

I wish I had done either of these... My brain was the blue screen of death. I know it's too late for that. One girl gave me a long gaze and I responded with a pensive smile. Her raised eyebrows were all I needed to know that I was outed. She's the chatty one...

[Michelle V]

May you felt it was time, you were prepared to come out and say it, it is no ones business what you do at home BUT you are planing to come out and bring it to work which makes it everybody's business, you already have one supporter in the group and I am pretty sure the girls from your work are already talking about it. My suggestion you need to take control back and discuss it like adults. The first day of the rest of your life, don't forget to take in consideration what your wife may think, is she also ready? Best of lucks.

[May(be)]

You could dismiss it as Spam, perhaps they already presume it is Spam. Perhaps telling is risky if this is your first day, you don't know each other and you are going to be working together.
I don't know any commonly negative outcomes from telling. But there are good outcomes as well. If this is out of your hands then you should think optimistically and not worry.

Also, I was trying to be brief so I didn't want to go into too much detail, but this is the second year for my program. In my year, there were 9 women and me. This year there are new students; another 6 women and one man from China making 15 women and 2 guys. The 9 women from my year have known me for a year. The new ones barely know me, hence the introductions. I should have fully disclosed to you all, but I was trying to be concise. I'm more worried about the 9 women that I've known for a year before now. Believe it or not, I was their paragon of masculinity in this program. Ironic, no?

[prettytoes]

Now that the cat's out of the bag, you may as well wear a skirt to work tomorrow! haha

[Pexetta]

You wanted to tell them all everything, then 'chickened out' as you said - then got accidentally outed anyway. Don't take this as a criticism, but isn't the end result what you thought you wanted in the first place?

I think I'd ultimately be pleased if I unintentionally outed myself. At least then I wouldn't have to do it again. It'd be out there and people would have to deal with it.

[GaleWarning]

The truth is always better in the long run. Saves us having to worry about how well we have hidden a secret which is NOT dirty!

[ReluctantDebutant]

I have been in this situation on more than one occasion. Anxiety and fear of always felt like there to kill me. Luckily they're all false alarms.

My advice is to just play it cool. Even if you don't feel calm and collected during the situation you should do your best to look it. If anyone is going to make a big deal about the situation they are waiting for cues from you. If you show them that this is not a big deal to you they will not act as if it's a big deal to them. This will probably blow over with your classmates in a couple weeks anyway.

If you still want to try the e-mail mistake saying. Tell them you ordered a chest of drawers from an ironically named Christian furniture store

[Marleena]

I agree, just act like it's no big deal. If you look scared they'll go for the jugular.

[May(be)]

If you still want to try the e-mail mistake saying. Tell them you ordered a chest of drawers from an ironically named Christian furniture store

That's HILARIOUS! Nope, I'm past that point now. I'm all in. It's the endgame for me. I'm just going to go ahead and be me.

[kimdl93]

I don't think you're "out" really...you just roused some curiosity. I think you should just be yourself, and let it flow.

[MichelleMiles]

That's HILARIOUS! Nope, I'm past that point now. I'm all in. It's the endgame for me. I'm just going to go ahead and be me.

It sucks not being in control of the situation, but like you said, just be you. That's all anyone can expect of themselves and from others.

I actually don't think putting it in your presentation would have been wise either. I think that would have put the others in your class in a more awkward situation, they might have felt you expected something from them. At least with this accidental 'outing' people were just caught of guard, and each can handle it in their own way, maybe even forgetting it happened.

Computers are evil though aren't they, when I was in college I always made sure to have my browsers history cleared, photos stored elsewhere and all emails logged out. Better yet I would just use someone else's laptop for presentations.

[Frédérique]

One girl says "does that say cross dresser?"

[SIZE="2"]We have met the enemy, and she happens to be the one we emulate...[/SIZE]

So, I work professionally as a curator, but I am also in school to get my Master's degree in Curatorial Practice.

[SIZE="2"]You can curate my exhibition. I work professionally as an artist... [/SIZE]

[TxKimberly]

Well, I don't really intend to make light of your situation, but you really only have one choice here - you go to work tomorrow and do your best to do your job well. The next day, you do the very same thing, and so on and so on. In the end I'm absolutely sure that this will make no difference at all.
Stay calm, go to work and do your job. If someone asks you a question, THEN you have a decision to make.

[S. Lisa Smith]

Be cool, as everyone has said, you will be fine! This happened at class, not work? Kim has offered great advice...

[Megan_Renee]

Now that the cat's out of the bag, you may as well wear a skirt to work tomorrow! haha

This! Do this! You have the perfect opportunity. If they get grumpy with you tell them to jump off a cliff!

[docrobbysherry]

First off, May, I'm sorry this happened when u weren't prepared for it!

Secondly, altho I'm probably the LEAST computer knowledgeable of ANYONE HERE, I know enuff to have a SEPARATE Email address and SERVER for all of Sherry's communiques! $8 a month is what it costs!

3rdly, it looks like u can either cruise down that famous Egyptian river or come out to the folks at work u care about! Because until u do, they're most likely too shy and/or shocked to talk to u about it! And, it will be uncomfortable there until u do SOMETHING to clear the air! Your move, May!?

[Sarah Doepner]

So, I work professionally as a curator, but I am also in school to get my Master's degree in Curatorial Practice.


One girl says "does that say cross dresser?".

"I'm preparing an exhibit of religious artifacts and one of the items is a beautiful crucifix from 14th century France. Historically they are displayed with the finest of fabrics draped around the base. So I've been in contact with someone who has done this kind of cross dressing before."

[Tracii G]

Ooops! well I think that they are still processing the minor info that got shown.
Act like nothing happened and it may blow over.It may not keep that in mind and deal with any questions as you see fit.
They may be OK with it you never know.

[Jorja]

What is done is done. Just be your normal lovable self and go with the flow. Some will like it. Some will hate it. There is an old saying that fits your situation.... F*&% them if they can't take a joke.

[AmiFL]

and you look as lovely as you do in your picture. Nothing to fear I have found that most young people that I talk to online I'm much more open minded then people from my generation I'm sure you'll find your lifestyle accepted by your peers