Who are you?
Seriously. Who are you?
It's a simple question, right?
It’s sooo simple, in fact, that the question is composed of just three words, and a total of nine letters.
The obvious answer, also coming in at three words, but only five letters in total length, is even simpler.
I am me.
But am I really me?
Are you really you?
Or are you someone else altogether?
I don’t know how much the question matters to you, or even if you believe the answer is of any real significant consequence. But, for better or worse, I have been all-consumed and obsessed with both the question and answer for some time now.
And I can say with no amount of uncertainty that I am currently more me than I have ever been before in my life, by far.
But my answer, even as partial as it may yet remain, has not come easily, and it has not come without having paid a steep, heavily interest-laden price.
The ironic thing, though, is that I spent years and years and years doing everything I could do to not be me. In this, I denied myself. I hid. I ran. I deceived. I was someone other than my true self. I sold myself out to myself for pennies on the dollar. I betrayed myself. I lied to myself, and I lied to the rest of the world.
And much worse, to put salt in the wound, throughout it all I had convinced myself that I really was me. For whatever it is worth, though, I will give myself credit - I was quite convincing.
I was convincing, that is, until reality reared its ugly, merciless, unforgiving head, thereby causing my life to completely and totally fall apart around me. Although a substantial price most certainly was paid (and will continue to be paid for some time to come), I learned an invaluable and life-saving lesson from the experience - being someone other than your true self just doesn’t work. In the long run, it is not sustainable.
For me, I have had to let it all go. I have had to be completely honest with myself. I recognize that I can be afraid, and that it is ok to be afraid, but I ultimately have to stand up to, face, and conquer my fear.
When it’s all said and done, the easy answer is actually quite simple – I just gotta be me. The thing about this simple, easy answer, though, is that it also just so happens to be the correct answer. I gotta be me. Funny how that works, huh?
So do you think you know who you are? I mean really know who you are? If you do, are you sure about that?