your guy friends and crossdressing

[StarrOfDelite]

I'm a little curious about your definition of "real men friends." Were you being sarcastic, or just using the expression instead of "straight?" I've been a member of many male-oriented organizations (high school gang, college fraternity, various athletic teams, the USMC, local business associations, social clubs), and, in retrospect, have wasted too much time hanging around with guys drinking beer and talking about women, sports cars and football. But, I've never thought "manly men" are defined by hunting, fishing, riding dirt bikes, and following sprint car races (did you omit watching Wrestlemania by mistake or on purpose? ) I think if I wanted to create a stereotyped profile of a "Male Person Most Likely to be Anti-GLBT" I'd probably start with those characteristics.

[Aloha Jayne]

This is a very interesting thread. It's good to read that there are so many regular guys that like to do guy stuff with other guys, hunting, sports, drinking....your know guy stuff. But somewhere inside, we have a need to express our feminine side. It doesn't make us a non-guy, but yet most of us are very hesitant to share this with even our closest friends. And in a way it makes this all that more bizarre. I mean, if we were a bunch of weanie, nerdy types, with social issues and hang-ups, then this behavior would not surprise our friends as much. But we're just red blooded, women lovin', sports watchin', beer drinking guys, that sometimes feel better in a dress.

I have never had many friends, male or female. Not because of this, but mostly because I find most guys to be boring. I love to watch the NFL and NASCAR, and look at pretty women just like the next guy. But that is about the limit of interest with most guys and there is more to me than that. I find that I relate better to women. But because I'm sexually attracted to them, it isn't easy having one as a close friend. I am perfectly comfortable in my house with my SO and her two daughters and their friends.

But wouldn't it be nice to have someone to watch football with and talk about beauty tips at the same time. I know some of you here have managed to find that, but I'm guessing it is rare. And congratulations to those of you that have told your best friends, and they have stuck by you. Those are real friends!

[April_Ligeia]

I just don't discuss this with my friends, it isn't a subject that comes up. Your friends are most likely not thinking about crossdressing because, well, that's something crossdressers think about.

[Jamie001]

If I can't be myself around my friends, then they aren't my friends! I don't need friends that can't accept me for who I am. Everyone should ask themselves the following question: "If my friends cannot accept who I really am, are they really my friends?". It's really that simple.

[Amy A]

I don't talk about it to anyone. I only have a small group of male friends who don't know about it. If they did find out, I reckon a couple of them would be fine about (although take the piss a bit), but there's one who is clearly uncomfortable about such things and may have a hard time dealing with it. I've contemplated telling some of them, but it's not exactly an easy thing to do. Perhaps one day I'll just show up at the pub in a little black dress and see what happens!

[jaanine]

I'm a little curious about your definition of "real men friends." Were you being sarcastic, or just using the expression instead of "straight?" I've been a member of many male-oriented organizations (high school gang, college fraternity, various athletic teams, the USMC, local business associations, social clubs), and, in retrospect, have wasted too much time hanging around with guys drinking beer and talking about women, sports cars and football. But, I've never thought "manly men" are defined by hunting, fishing, riding dirt bikes, and following sprint car races (did you omit watching Wrestlemania by mistake or on purpose? ) I think if I wanted to create a stereotyped profile of a "Male Person Most Likely to be Anti-GLBT" I'd probably start with those characteristics.

dont read too much into it! you know what i am asking so please dont over analyze it i wasnt stereotyping a damn thing merely asking a simple question

[Saffron]

If I can't be myself around my friends, then they aren't my friends! I don't need friends that can't accept me for who I am. Everyone should ask themselves the following question: "If my friends cannot accept who I really am, are they really my friends?". It's really that simple.

Well, there's friends and friends. e.g. I don't think my football (soccer) teammates needs to know about my CD.

On the other hand, I won't be friends with someone who is racist, homophobic, etc.

[Mistybtm]

None of them know. most of my friends are into computers and gaming, The only time we get together is for A computer build we make A party out of it. usualy at my place and all my items are out of site and I make double sure of that before anyone shows up.

[Meghan]

I don't have any guy friends to speak of. Never really have. All of my friends and even casual relationships have been with women. My doctor is female, so is my dentist, my eye doctor and of course, my so is my wife! My best working relationships have been with women.

The cat, who sees me every night and is always there for me, both lovingly and spiritually, is female.

My best friends are women. I have never been able to relate to "men" in any meaningful way. I feel like I am missing something as a result.

Meghan

[nikki626]

never, Never, NEVER would i tell my guy friends about cd. just thinking about it gets me worried/scared...

[Lorileah]

Girls hunt and fish and ride dirt bikes and sweat and spit and drink and cuss and...here is the deal, why does it bother THEM? If you are hunting or fishing or whatever it is doubtful you will be wearing heels a skirt and make up. GG's don't so why would you unless you are absolutely nuts?

If my guy friends don't like it they can stay out of my camp site.

[lingerieLiz]

I never thought about it. I've had male friends that found out and stayed friends. Actually all were the macho types. A neighbor first met me dressed, but he bacame a friend and never let it bother him. Went hunting with him etc. One friend that neither one of us knew the other's secret until we decided to play a prank and came out to each other in doing so. We went to a sox hop as a couple. I was the girl of course and got carried away with passing. He was gay and I never suspected, and I was a CD who he never suspected.

I would think that it would depend on how you present and if you were trying to be fem or not. Guys usually congregate to be with others doing the same thing. Being a girl around them is not what they would want.

Years ago I saw a magazine picture that showed a woman in a sport coat, long skirt and fine leather boots. She had a shotgun and was bird hunting. I wanted that outfit and wanted to go hunting dressed like that. I couldn't afford the outfit at the time. What's more no one hunted in skirts where we were living at the time.

[jaanine]

ok ok ok question answered thanks

[STACY B]

Guy friends ? STOP !!! They better not try an steal my clothes while there around ,,,Better buy there own ,,,Dam CDs gotta watch um !!

[Kelly Smith]

I have two distinct personalities each with its own presentation. In "man mode" I dress, move respond and think like any other man. My friends wouldn't be able to reconcile that guy and Kelly. Neither can I, actually. She is a mystery.

[donna_tgirl]

No one I'm close to knows about my dressing and adventures - not my family or any of my friends. I haven't been totally honest with any of them for fear of rejection and ridicule. So now I'm way into all of these relationships and am afraid of hurting them and losing them especially my family. I wish I could be more in the open with all of this, but I don't have the courage to do what it takes. So, to be somewhat feminine while having to be "manly" because I don't get to dress as often as I would like or need I will wear longer men's shorts which are basically cargo style capris and flip flops with a narrow thong. I also make sure my toenails are very well kept, but I don't polish them in boy mode. Lastly, I always wear thong underwear - men's when I'm in boy mode. This seems to get me by for the time being until I can get pretty again. No one seems to say anything to me except for the occassional "aren't you cold?".

[STACY B]

Halloween is coming ,,,Yall get a freebee ,,, Better not Miss out ,,, I am going as a guy ,,, Camo gotta buy me a beard ,,, Heyyyyyy I'm a CD ,,,Get it ??

[jaanine]

never, Never, NEVER would i tell my guy friends about cd. just thinking about it gets me worried/scared...

your absolutly right nikki NEVER no offense but some here must not have guy friends like we do in my life you could never or you would be cast into a group and outcast by my family so i guess i wont get to practice perfection nearly as much as many of you girls thanks for the replys xo

[Danielle_cder]

Definatly fit in with my guy friends, maybe considered one of the more manly ones Would never dream of telling any of them as I would never be seen or heard from again....

[jaanine]

yep that the general concensus just trying to get time to perfect look but ya never know who is gonna pop in for a visit...sigh xo

[Meghan]

ok ok ok question answered thanks

No fair! You can't ask thought provoking questions and close the topic!

I hadn't really even thought about it until you asked. Thank you.

Meghan

[Abbygirl]

It all works out for me. I have two separate lives as a closeted CD'er. The "manly man" friend or two I have suspect nothing- I am a GUY most of the time, they routinely see me enjoying attractive women, alcohol, hot rods, rock and roll, fishing, and dirtbikes. Just like they enjoy. They don't need to know that I have bra marks on my chest, or that I'm wearing panties while enjoying these manly things. I'm somehow OK with women knowing my secret, but not the dudes.

[stockinged nemo]

I haven't told any of my friends male or female. The only person I have told is my wife, and that has not gone all that well....so that is not making me want to let any body else know. It is also not so simple for me. I am afraid that if I would let a few of my friends and family members know and it was not taken in a positive manner, my secret would be leaked to people in my social circles that I do not want to know, due to some responsibilities that I have. About the only person I plan on telling is a very close friend - basically the brother I never had (who happens to be gay). I think he would be surprised but accepting not only because he has had to go through a coming out process, but because he is about the only person I can truly talk to about anything without judgement. I like many of you really am a true "guy" sports, beer, etc. with this one exception. Unfortunately, I don't I can share my secret with many yet.

[stockinged nemo]

I also for some reason in general have felt closer to many women than men and would probably be more comfortable telling female friends vs. male friends....maybe due to feeling that they may be more understanding in general than most "all American men."

[Alice Torn]

I have only come out to two man friends. One is gay, and he was wondering why i would do it, and asked if therapy has made me see why i do it! He is tolerant, but not accepting. I would not tell my dad, brothers, or other macho guys. I would be hesitant to tell my sister, too. I have opened up to my woman therapist, and a few ladies in my 12 step group, and they seem ok. The church women, all older, who i shared, have a problem with it, but not hostile.