I think what is at issue is that you may not consider yourself as a crossdresser in public!
I know for me in the everyday world I may go off on someone if they say "look at that crossdresser" a few year ago it would not have bothered me as much. Now with me being out in a part time way as a woman and interacting with other women as one of them I would not have accepted that. It is one thing when your using it in your act but if your at the fair and she stops just to call you out that was wrong IMHO.
Now to answer your questions:
1. They need to feel they have the upper hand and they feel that they are the "normal one" and we are not! They feel by disrespecting you that you will feel misrible and down!
2. Like I said you have developed as Violet and you want the respect that you deserve.
That's just my .02 cents!
