I got outed.......

[Amy R Lynn]

So last weekend I was getting ready to go on a fishing and camping trip with one of my friends that I have known for a LONG time. We were going down to WV to do some river fishing for the weekend.

We needed to buy a one day fishing license online. So my buddy came over and was using my computer. I didn't realize ahead of time that he was going to need to use my computer. I never dreamed that he would go to my IE history to find the website to buy the fishing license. Low and behold, there were all of my CD'ing sites that I have visited....!@#$@....I have my settings to only keep 1 days worth of history and normally I'm the only one that uses my computer so I don't have to wory about anyone snooping around on it. So he confronted me and asked if there was something that he should know about me. He said that he saw all of these CD'ing websites in my history. My stomach sank.... I didn't know what to do other than to say "Is that an issue?", and just shrugged. He said well no... and we left it at that for then.

This is probably the worse person to ever know about something like this. I may as well have just posted an article about me in the local newspaper. !@#@. Knowing this I knew I had to talk to him about it. I waited until we were driving back home. I didn't want this to linger over the camping trip, so I waited until we were on our way home. I brought it up and told him that it is something very personal to me, and that only a couple people know about it. I told him that I would appreciate it if he could keep that to himself. He said that if that's my thing then what ever. He seemed ok about it. Or at least he didn't throw himself from the moving car. I explained to him that this was something that was always a part of me, and that it doesn't make me any different than the person that he has known all along. I also reassured him that I have no attraction to men. I just really love everything, EVERYTHING, about women. I just hope and pray that he doesn't open his big mouth, but I have my doubts. I'm not sure what will be the result of this. I hope that I don't loose friends over this. I don't know that I'm ready for that.....Not that I have much choice now. Only time will tell.

[Jamie Christopher]

Amy:

Best of luck to you after what must have been very traumatic. I hope all works out well!

Jamie

[Megan Briana]

I just had the same experience with a GG friend of 20+ years. we havent talked about it yet, but if our friendship is half as strong as the years it took to make it, then we should be ok. this friend is not known to keep secrets. i have been telling my self all night that if the worst happens, then the worst happens. at least for me it means I dont have to hide it from here anymore.

ps if he saw all this before the trip, and still went fishing, then maybe it is not so big the problem that the imagination makes it.... just a thought

[Kate Simmons]

Well, you are the one who really knows your friend Hon but I'm being told by my guide that nothing will come of it. He enjoys having you as a friend.

[ColleenCD]

Hi Amy,

Wow, sorry to hear about your situation. This is certainly a test of friendship. If this guy talks, then the word is out; guys will probably not bat an eye save one redneck, curious women may test you with feminine statements or outright questions. Anyone who hears will develop an opinion. The real test is your resolve and confidence. How will you respond? Keep in mind that the same people whom we often feel subject to judgement from ALL have something they also would not like the world to know, like your friend.

Take heart,

Colleen

[Amy R Lynn]

Hi Amy,

Wow, sorry to hear about your situation. This is certainly a test of friendship. If this guy talks, then the word is out; guys will probably not bat an eye save one redneck, curious women may test you with feminine statements or outright questions. Anyone who hears will develop an opinion. The real test is your resolve and confidence. How will you respond? Keep in mind that the same people whom we often feel subject to judgement from ALL have something they also would not like the world to know, like your friend.

Take heart,

Colleen

Well I've already been tested once when my buddy found the history on my PC. I am pretty sure that I would handle it just the same with anyone else. It has been my experience that when things happen, good, bad, weird, when they are yours, you should own them. Skirting (all puns intended! LOL) the issue only makes it worse. Owning it and accepting what it is will help everyone move on. I just know that if I were to tell everyone that I know (worse case scenario), some of them probably would never speak to me again. That would be painful. I only hope that it doesn't' come to that. I don't think it will.

[MaryAnn40c]

I been outed so much lately that I really don t care anymore....if people dont like what I enjoy then they can always leave! I wear what ever i want when i want!

[kristinacd55]

Well I've already been tested once when my buddy found the history on my PC. I am pretty sure that I would handle it just the same with anyone else. It has been my experience that when things happen, good, bad, weird, when they are yours, you should own them. Skirting (all puns intended! LOL) the issue only makes it worse. Owning it and accepting what it is will help everyone move on. I just know that if I were to tell everyone that I know (worse case scenario), some of them probably would never speak to me again. That would be painful. I only hope that it doesn't' come to that. I don't think it will.

Hey Amy, that's a healthy way to deal with it. If he's truly a friend, then he will understand and become an even better friend. If not, then the friendship wasn't strong to begin with.
I have buddy friends who I go on a ski trip with every year, and the one guy and I text every day. I'm thinking the time is coming that I'm going to fess up to him since we're very close in every other way. And, just like you, what happens will happen and I will accept the consequences!

On another note, I use Google Chrome for my browser and always go to "incognito" even though noone accesses my laptop either except my wife.

[Miranda-E]

I never dreamed that he would go to my IE history to find the website to buy the fishing license.

he may not have gone into your history at all. If he did it the old fashioned way, IE had a common history based suggestion list up on the screen before he finished typing www.

at least your free now.

[kimdl93]

That had to be difficult. I guess he should be careful about snooping, if that's what lead to this. I commend you on answering honestly. Let's hope you're friendship continues.

[Amy R Lynn]

Actually the sugesstion list much more likely......Good call....

Well he did tell me that he thought maybe it was someone else that was using my computer. He didn't think that it was me. So.. I don't know....

What ever happens, happens. Its out of my control what he does with that information. I do know him well. I think he can keep it under his hat, but we'll see.

@Beamer, sounds like we are def in the same boat here.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Amy, That's why I always clear the history when I log off
although I'm the only one to use it you just never know.

[Amy R Lynn]

I thought I should update everyone on this thread. My buddy has been talking to me and acting like he has always acted. He never even said a word about any of the suff that we talked about. As far as all of this goes, we are the same as we ever were. It is amazing how your head does make things far worse than what they really are. I'm glad that this turned out ok.

[Nicole Erin]

He is probably just trying to pretend it doesn't exist, I mean if he has a problem with it. I think you will be OK, just don't bring it up again.

How funny would it be though in the car if one of those tranny-type songs came on (dude looks like a lady, man I feel like a woman, etc...)

OK bad joke. Anyways, like I said, just don't rub his nose in it.

[Ashley D.]

I thought I should update everyone on this thread. My buddy has been talking to me and acting like he has always acted. He never even said a word about any of the suff that we talked about. As far as all of this goes, we are the same as we ever were. It is amazing how your head does make things far worse than what they really are. I'm glad that this turned out ok.

I'm glad your friend isn't treating you any different.
Like you said things can seem a lot more dramatic in your mind.
I use to think the world would some how come to a end if I was outed.
Now hay we are all still here n

[Chickhe]

The solution to dress up on halloween in front of all your friends. Have fun, show them a good time. That way it will be old news when your big mouth friend starts talking...

[StaceyXOXOX]

I almost got busted by my bestfriend one evening when my wife had taken the kids to a movie. I had a couple of hours of me time so I thought I would get dressed up. I was just sitting and watching some tv when my friend and his kid, who live just around the corner from me, decided to take thier dogs for a walk. His son started knocking on my door and looking thru the window. I had to do a army crawl to the bedroom and do a quick change. He asked what took so long getting to the door, told him I was using the bathroom. My heart was pounding so hard the whole time he was over here.

[CindySTJ]

Google Chrome has a nice Incognito window that does not save history, cookies, passwords, usernames. You still need to be careful but there is no additional hidden history saved. Even Ebay searches and things like that are not saved.

[Meghan]

There is nothing quite as scary as the moment when the genie pops loose when it's not clearly safe (or ever)!

I have had more than a few close calls and some outs over the last 35 years. It comes with the territory and it's a part of who we are. No matter what happens here, hang in there.

I don't think any one of us can keep this from all other humans forever. Our own minds subvert us. A little too much mascara that we didn't notice was still there, forgotten panties on at the gym, a website image, an unexpected visitor, anything.

So hang in there and be strong. This will pass with time and you'll feel better.

After all, this is what we do.

Meghan

[stacycoral]

Amy, i hope everything works out for you, hugs.

[Nicolesmyth]

Omg I don't think I would have the Gus to talk to him like you did! Hope it works out.

[Beverley Sims]

It is too easy with prompts, I type in "c" and guess what.....
Top of the c list is CD.Com.

[Barbara Ella]

Amy, sorry this happened. Your friend went on the trip, and was OK, and did not bring it up, so maybe even if he thought it was someone else it was no big deal to him. Hopefully since he did not react immediately when you discussed it with him it really is nobig deal, and he understands. Only time will tell if he can hold his tongue.

Good Luck

Barbara

[jaanine]

that is something i sweat everyday i hope it turns out for you and i would like to hear if anything develops xo P.s. keep your fingers crossed

[ArleneRaquel]

Amy,
Thank you for sharing, I hope that your friends understand & continue be supportive.