Don't deceive me!

[AmberDay]

I was talking with one of my fellow bus drivers <Helen- not her real name> tonight when she told me about 'one of those guys that like to dress like girls' got on her bus. Helen told me that she was dressed nice, red blouse, black dress pants, low heels, nice makeup; but when the passenger stepped on, she was able to 'figure it out' that it was a guy. Helen admits that she wasn't too crazy about having a cd/tg get on her bus, but kept her mouth shut. The passenger puts her fare in and asks for a transfer in a modified fem voice. Helen went off on the passenger, admonishing her for trying to 'deceive' her. <granted can't remember word for word what Helen said, but this is the just of it:> "You are a man, and while you are allowed to dress like you want, don't get on my bus and try to pretend you are a woman by trying to disguise you voice. You better talk like a man next time or you won't ride my bus. I don't appreciate being lied to you and people trying to deceive me by pretending to be something their not!" The passenger was embarrassed and sat down.

I stood there stunned. I never would have considered her to be like this. I consider her a friend and thought she was better than that. I gave her a friendly warning that she majorly crossed the line and could get in BIG trouble for saying that or sticking to what she threatened. I tried to explain that many crossdressers and transgender try to change their voice to blend in and not out themselves. She completely disagreed with me. "God made them men and they should act like it. I was well within my religious rights to put liars and deceivers off her bus. It's one thing to wear what one feels comfortable in, but another to try to pass completely as the other gender!"

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get through to her. She doesn't know about me, but I told her about my transgender 'cousin' <me, actually> that lowers her voice to not out themself. "Your cousin is wrong then."
"Helen, if I were you, I would never say that again to a passenger. If you have a problem with it, it is best to keep it to yourself."

Now, if that happened to me; I go into a business dressed and an employee tried to 'call me out' for changing my voice, I would go ballastic! I would get the manager, store info, corporate numbers, flash the incident on social media, contact the local news. etc! Although I would be embarrassed, I would stand up for myself and for other transgender!

I hope Helen doesn't get in trouble; and I hope that transgender doesn't think all bus drivers are like that. I hope Helen comes around. We are union though, so Helen doesn't have too much to worry about.

If I owned a business and I heard about one of my employees doing that, they would be out the door!

Amber

[Mollyanne]

UNION OR NOT, SHE REALLY COULD GET HER A$$ IN A WHOLE LOT OF TROUBLE NOT TO MENTION THE COMPANY GETTING SLAPPED WITH A MONUMENTAL LAWSUIT!!! TALK ABOUT CLOSED MINDED AND BIGOTED, SHE GETS THE "BLUE RIBBON"!!!!!!!

Molly

[Shari]

"Helen" sounds like a real jerk. Why do you bother talking to her?
She's not just ignorant, she's hateful.

[Noel Chimes]

It's a shame that we have to endure such disdain on PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. The person getting on the bus showed great restraint and clear thinking in not stooping to the driver's level. After talking to a friend of mine who works for the bus company here, he told me that "Helen" just opened the door for a harassment lawsuit. So if I were you I would suggest to your friend to keep personal comments to herself. There are many out here who would NOT try to play down the incident but rather escalate it to dangerous levels. And none of us would wish that on anyone.

[Cynthia Anne]

I think you did all you could do! But I for one hope she does get into trouble!!!

[BobbieBrooks]

Heck, I live in Mi and it would be worth the trip to ride her bus. Thinking a good lawsuit and I could retire early!!! Lets all get together and ride HER bus and hit the company with a class action suit.

[linda allen]

.....:> don't get on my bus and try to pretend you are a woman .................you won't ride my bus. ............... I was well within my religious rights to put liars and deceivers off her bus. It's one thing to wear what one feels comfortable in, but another to try to pass completely as the other gender!........................................

Since when is it "her" bus (or your bus, for that matter)? It's a city bus, right? It belongs to the city or the bus company, she is just the driver. She doesn't make the rules, she just drives the bus from stop to stop.

If the city has a rule against people disguising their voices while getting on the bus, fine, she can enforce that rule. If the city has a rule against dressing as a female when one is genetically a male, fine, she can enforce that rule.

Otherwise, her job is to drive the bus safely from one stop to the next and collect the fares. And be pleasant about it.

And what's with this "religious rights" BS? If your religion gets in the way of doing your job, you need a new job or a new religion.

The passenger might be embarassed to do so, but she has every right to file a complaint against the driver for her tirade.

[Annie D]

Sorry your friend/acquaintance turned out to be someone who was not the person you expected. We just don't know what a person's position might be about us and therefore we stay int the closet, so to speak. Someone who is as adament about her feelings is not likely to change. I probably would have simply said that although I respect her opinion (not really), I don't agree with what you are saying and caution her that what she says publicly can come back to haunt/hurt her professionally and leave it at that.

Too bad that there are many more of those who share a like opinion!

[Jorja]

Let's see..... I'll be in your town next week. What route does she drive?

[Violetgray]

I don't know, this seems fairly simple to me. Her "religious rights" end at trying to police other people's behavior. If we have freedom of religion in this country, and people can even choose to be atheist if they want to, then why should the be obligated to conduct themselves the way SHE feels they should according to HER god?

[Esteafanie]

Wow!!!! what happened to tolerance. I was actually yon the bus the other day do have a stickers that clearly states " commitment to serve everyone regardless of economic status, religion, gender...etc." Feel sorry for your friend. Kudos to you for standing up for us!!!!

[AmberDay]

I was too shocked to mention it when she was telling me about it, but the next time I see her I will remind her that her religious views can't interfere with the rights of an individual to express themselves. Granted I only considered her a work friend, but this has drastically affected the way I feel towards her. I know many bus drivers that can't stand the GBLT community, but they keep the stuff to themselves and share what they encountered away from the public. They don't like it, but they at least act respectful in the face of a GBLT passenger. That is all we can ask. The more exposure these drivers encounter with transgender passengers that don't act like Jerry Springer hopefully will change their opinion.

[linda allen]

...... I know many bus drivers that can't stand the GBLT community, but they keep the stuff to themselves and share what they encountered away from the public. .

I'm sure there are still drivers who can't stand the "black" community (or the "white" community for that matter), but their job is to serve the public and that means all the public. And the "sharing what they encountered" is inappropriate also.

It may be time for the city or bus company to have some diversity training. The agency I worked for had this on a regular basis.

[kimdl93]

Isn't it unfortunate that she felt 'her' religious rights entitled her to punish those who didn't conform to her particular religious beliefs. That's a very convoluted interpretation of religious freedom. I commend you for attempting to reason with her, but it seems a lost cause. If she gets in trouble the next time her prejudices are imposed on a passenger she will deserve the consequences.

[whowhatwhen]

Wow!!!! what happened to tolerance.

They literally turned it around into "Why aren't you tolerating my intolerance? Now whose the real bigot?"

Can you file an anonymous complaint?
Maybe not against her specifically but mention that an incredibly intolerant event happened and that it would be wise to get all drivers some sensitivity training.

Her attitude is unbelievably toxic and if it can't be fixed then maybe it can be silenced with the threat of unemployment.

[Lady Slipper]

Well Amber, It sounds like she would've been more comfortable with the person you kicked off your bus in your previous thread. Go figure. At least you warned her about treading lightly when it comes to LGBT discrimination, I hope you can help her understand the legal consequences of her actions.

[becky77]

Helen is another closed minded person hiding behind religion for her bad attitude. I don't really care if the person was CD, black, disabled etc etc. Making someone feel bad like that is bullying and harassing because of prejudice. I'm no saint there are always things I don't agree on but I would never allow my opinion to make someone else feel like s**t. Helen needs disciplinary action.

[Jorja]

Maybe all Helen needs is an intervention. 500 - 600 CD/TG/TS riding her bus all day long might do the trick. Now where is my Rolodex and phone?

[PretzelGirl]

Maybe we can have a convention there next year and use a hotel on her route. An educational opportunity!

[~Joanne~]

I was well within my religious rights to put liars and deceivers off her bus.

Actually, as a public servant, she has no rights at all while on duty. She used religion to justify her ignorance and has no business interacting with the public if she is that in tolerant to different people or life styles. So when people of other religions get on her bus, does she also try to throw them off also?

I won't called this person a friend. I would report it to your supervisor and let the chips fall where they fall. After all, isn't it your duty to report an employee that is way out of line? This girl didn't act like the lunatic you had on your bus so there was absolutely no reason for helen to say a damn word. Yes, I am tired of hearing these things

I agree though that you did the right thing and tried to educate her, even on company policy or how to treat people, but some people want to think they are a higher class than everyone else and are always out there trying to prove. Helen is one of those people.

[StarrOfDelite]

"Religious Rights???????" We should set aside all this crap about 'freedom of religion,' which most butthead American believe means "freedom to be intolerant," and make it a crime to practice any sect which believes it, and only it, has the answers to the secrets of the universe.

[MicheleCooper]

Too bad that loud mouth crossdresser was not on Helen's bus that day instead of yours. That could have been a youtube moment for the ages! It is ironic if not sad, the loudmouth cd who you feared would give the community a black eye is not much of a threat compared to what this bus driver might have done to the ego of a transgender girl going out possibly for the last time. I hope this girl calls in, but if she felt embarrassed she may not, which means Helen will feel she won the battle and her intolerance will never be punished. Some folks have the right idea, load her bus up with folks from the transgender community both sides of the spectrum male to female and female to male.

[giuseppina]

Can you file an anonymous complaint?
Maybe not against her specifically but mention that an incredibly intolerant event happened and that it would be wise to get all drivers some sensitivity training.

This is an excellent idea, but I doubt it would be truly anonymous. Anyone of average intelligence would be able to cast suspicion on Amber as the complainant and make her life miserable on the job.

Her attitude is unbelievably toxic and if it can't be fixed then maybe it can be silenced with the threat of unemployment.

Unfortuneately, only the threat of dismissal is likely to work in this situation. The only chance of reducing the prejudice is in a group with transgender and cisgender people charged with solving a problem not related to gender status.

The passenger might be embarassed to do so, but she has every right to file a complaint against the driver for her tirade.

I hope she does. She also has the right to retain a barrister to pursue this in court.

[Tracii G]

Seems that people who claim to be tolerant are the ones with the least of it.
You could have made the remark "I don't think Jesus would have acted that way"?
Its sad she has to throw religion in your face to justify her actions..............really sad.

[Stephanie47]

Amber, I hope Helen DOES get in trouble. There needs to be consequences for rude behavior. It is one thing to have an opinion, religious or otherwise. There is no room in society anymore for cretins to act in such a blatant manner. If I remember my living history African Americans were told to give their seats to white bus riders and to sit in the back of the bus. There is a lot of truth a person's true self is shown among friends and not what is said in public. I think we recently saw that.