My fetish side is my fun side.
My woman side is my default side. I use this side of me to socialize.
When I have been to any given event, say a wedding, I do not enjoy dressing as a male, that is a suit & tie. The notion of palling around with a bunch of dudes, and smoking cigars , and talking cars and sports has long since lost my interest.
I feel profoundly jealous of the women , they have infinite choices to look pretty. ....wish it was me.
Everyone can do whatever they please. And if they want to dress just for fun, it is a valid reason, after all it is for fun! And if they dress, they are a real CDer. Crossdress is a word that says you are wearing the clothes of the other gender. It says nothing about the reason. Everybody doesn't have to be like you.Originally Posted by Raynefall
What makes you think they are setting you back? And I will tell you that most people here would probably say they do what they do for selfish reasons whether they are a fetish dresser or not.
The site is for everyone who behaves themselves and only the mods get to determine that.
This is the Male to Female Crossdressing section. They do have their own section and this is it. And if most people don't do it for a certain reason then we are suppose to discriminate against the minority?
Seeing how you used crossdress in both descriptions you have shown that they are related.
You don't seem to be taking opinions at all. Nicole wrote well and you are getting pretty worked up. The fact is that this board is for everyone. You will probably find that far and away most people accept each other here. If you have problems with fetish posts, then don't read them. It wouldn't do us well to say this is crossdressers.com and the TS folk should get lost and it will not do us well to tell the fetish members to get lost either. I have many friends that are fetish, TS, sissy, whatever. I hope they all find friendship and support here. And I hope you do too, no matter how you identify.
Wow, I'm surprised the mods have let this go on so long, let's all chill! I still think a lot of folks are in denial, but if they are not, I still think they all belong here, even those of us that feel compelled, all come at this differently, and if we started to compartmentalize this site by why we do it, it won't leave many of us in the same box, and will get boring real fast. Rain, while I agree with some of what you started with, if being here is not good for you, I'm sure the girls in the TS section will not upset you as much as the group on a general cross dressing site obviously has. While I don't cross dress just for the fun of it, I do come to this site just for the fun of it, I enjoy all the gals on here!
Tina B.
Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.
Purely for the Fun of It?
I think the misunderstanding here is that Sue and others want to think that we can attribute our love of crossdressing to it being fun — end of story. According to that view, there is no value in digging deeper. Others believe that what we might find if we asked more incisive questions would be of value, too.
It seems to me that there are thousands of activities that are fun — or might be if we tried them. But none of us has the time or energy to regularly participate in thousands of separate activities. Why do we crossdress instead of putting our time, energy, and money into something else? Why do our priorities favor Activity A over Activity B? At the level of superficial enjoyment, lots of things might have been fun. Wearing a baseball uniform would be superficially fun and indeed would be similar in most respects to wearing a dress. But something important is left out when we leave the matter at that.
What’s left out when we focus on consequences rather than on causes is everything that’s NOT superficial. Wearing a dress, for some of us, might satisfy our important needs better than wearing a baseball uniform or competing in a chess tournament. Being honest about those needs is the most difficult and important thing. Sissy Stephanie crossdresses “for fun” because her deeper emotional needs are satisfied better by crossdressing than by putting on an Atlanta Braves uniform or playing a game of chess. If it is fun, then it is fun in large part because it addresses needs better than the other things she might have done with her time and energy. When we focus on consequences rather than causes, we miss what differentiates Sissy Stephanie from any other person. Sure, it is fun; but what makes it an effective activity for creating those satisfying sensations we call fun? (If doing it made her ill or left her feeling empty inside, then she would stop. It would not be fun BECAUSE it would not be meeting her needs — and indeed would be frustrating them.)
For clarity Jamie Ann, I am saying that some may do it for fun. None of us have the right, or possibly the understanding, to tell another person why they can do any variation of what we do. To do so puts us right in the same group that wants to tell all of us we can't do it. If someone says they do it for fun, more power to them. I support them 100%. Maybe they are right or maybe they will find that there is an underlying reason later on. Either way, it is not my place to tell them they are wrong. But that is a great explanation of the fun possibility from what I believe it is too. Thanks!
I love the feel of smooth satin lingerie. All fun and games here.
Golly, I hope there is some fun in this. There is fun in life, so there is fun in this as well.
How Many CD's Dress Purely for the Fun of It?
I am not disagreeing with everything you wrote, Sue — we agree on a lot of things — but let’s keep in mind that Stephanie’s claim was that “fun” is the main cause of her crossdressing. (It was not about hers or anyone else’s rights, which are not at issue — at least not for me.) To be sure, there probably is a correlation, for Stephanie, between her crossdressing and her experiences of “fun” or satisfaction; but a correlation does not establish what causes what. The correlation of A (say, “amount of fun or satisfaction”) and B (say, “amount of crossdressing”) is consistent with any of the following hypothetical possibilities:
A causes B,
B causes A,
C causes both A and B,
C causes B which causes A.
Here C might be some underlying factor such as a genetic, hormonal, and/or learned predisposition to crossdress. Besides the ones listed, many other hypothetical explanations for a simple correlation between “fun” and crossdressing exist; but these will do for now.
Stephanie claims that, for her at least, A causes B (“fun” causes crossdressing). As a plausible explanation, however, any of the others listed would make more sense. The 7.1 billion people in the world today carry out billions of activities that bring them a sense of joy or fun. To say that “fun” causes those billions of activities makes “fun” an all-purpose cause of billions and billions of different activities. If fun caused crossdressing, then anything I did that was fun would make me want to immediately run to my closet and fetch a dress! Enjoyment or amusement (i.e., “fun”) is an emotional response, not a cause. If crossdressing is correlated with fun for Stephanie, then her genetic, hormonal, and/or learned predispositions must be such that, for her, this activity brings pleasant feelings or fun. God bless her! But there still is a problem with her logic.
Why, then, do so many people who crossdress vehemently insist that “fun” is the ONE AND ONLY CAUSE of their crossdressing? For some, it simply is confusing causes and consequences (an understandable mistake). For others, it may reflect being in denial about something. In another thread, for instance, one participant said, “I crossdress, but I’m not gay! I do it just for the fun of it!” No one accused him/her of being gay — and few would give a good hoot. But doesn’t that that kind of out-of-the-blue statement make you suspect that the person is gay?
Jamie Ann,
I do not recall saying that Fun was the cause of my crossdressing. Although it certainly is part of it! And contrary to what other posters have said, there is no deep motivation within me that causes me to crossdress. As I have said many times, I crossdress simply because I like to! The several doctors who have examined me over the years concerning the CD'ing all came to same conclusion. I CD because I like to, and have no compulsion to do it. I did totally stop for a 5 year period early in my marriage, and only started again because my dear wife begged me to. I know that some people on this forum think they are compelled to crossdress because of an inner urge! That only indicates that they do not have full control of thier own minds. Ask any qualified doctor!! If one of the 3 people that I truly love asked me to stop CD'ing I would do so at once!! And all 3 people know that!!
Stephanie
Lady on the outside, but man underneath!
I am sure many do. If it didn't make you feel better you wouldn't do it. There is also the side that we do for the reasons that it makes us feel good, and fun yes why not. Lucy
No Deep Motivation for an Enduring 60-year Pattern of Behavior?
Dear Stephanie,
When you say that you crossdress “purely for the fun of it” (your words), you are implying that there is no other cause for your crossdressing. Again based on your own written statements, your crossdressing clearly has been an enduring pattern of behavior, not just a random act done on rare and unpredictable occasions. Enduring patterns of behavior are not simply activities done on a lark for fun. They are activities rooted in something about the person who engages in them.
The matter of compulsiveness is a tricky one. Most of us get hungry and thirsty. We could stifle those needs — even to the point of death if we had a good enough reason. The compulsion to drink water or eat food isn’t absolute. But an inclination to drink and eat is undeniable. The claim that I drink water “because I like to” may seem reasonable if we’re just making conversation, but my liking to drink water has a deeper reason: it satisfies a need. It’s true that “I like to,” but it’s untrue that liking to is its basic cause. And saying that I do not have full control of my own mind because I accept my need for water … maybe I don’t have full control of my own body, but mind? Gimme a break!
Finally, why do you resist even considering the possibility that a life-long pattern of behavior has a cause? Insisting that a 60-year recurring activity has no underlying cause raises the question of why you are so averse to thinking about that. Are you in denial about something that seems scary? Why did your wife beg you to start crossdressing again? She must have thought that you were like a man who hasn’t had a drink of water for much too long: grumpy and hard to get along with!
Anyway, I’m glad that you’re enjoying your crossdressing.
Jamie Ann
I can truthfully agree with you! It is purely for the fun of wearing women's clothes that I enjoy CD'ing. I have now come to enjoy the shopping as well! I don't however have any desire to become a woman.
Di
Yes, but why do we like to? That's a question I often ask myself. Some people don't think it's a very important question. Others do. I find it a fascinating question myself.
Ah, but nobody has full control of their minds. There is the subconscious, you know, plus all those little instincts and urges that can be very difficult to get rid of.
Annabelle
Sissystephanie insists that there is no internal compulsion to crossdress. And yet the crossdressing continues. Hmmmmm
Dress purely for fun? Probably not. There's some subconscious (or conscious) need driving part of the desire to dress as a woman. That said, it's mostly for fun.
For me Cross Dressing it is always enjoyable and fun and it makes me happy, although sometimes I do find it sexually arousing. I truly try to enjoy each and every chance, to get in touch with my feminine side and I am expressing a feminine aspect of myself. Cross Dressing is the act of wearing clothing and other accessories commonly associated with the other sex and I enjoy doing just that! I do enjoy the feeling of the large variety of soft and silky clothing, unlike most of the drab male clothing. As others have said it truly is the best of both worlds! I can be a guy or a girl just depends on how I feel that day as far as dressing the part. Lately I have been happy just being the mix of both leaning more about my feminine side. For me, that just seems to be very normal! I have no desire to become a woman but when I am dressed feminine, I do love feeling like a female, and the bottom line is that I am a man that enjoys or maybe I am compelled, to dress as a woman, and that is just who or what I am!
Life can be very short! We only have one life to live and why not live you life doing the things that you enjoy the most! Just Do It!
The part I love, is Sissystephnie is sure she only dresses for fun, but I just "think" it's a compulsion for me. Why is my knowledge of myself, is just what I think, but hers is fact. I find that interesting. But girl, I'll give you credit for being consistent, in your believes, and your doubts in the believes of anyone Else's.
Tina B.
Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.
I so love dressing and like you I have been at it for our 60 years and something that last 60 year better be fun and for me it has been wonderful
Absolutement... without a shadow of a doubt, this is the thread that defines me
Ashley
If more people crossdressed for fun, and felt comfortable coming to a forum like this to consider crossdressing, don't you think that would indicate an increased acceptance? I don't understand why someone who is TS would want to discourage acceptance of her own lifestyle.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
Originally Posted by Raynefall
Others have touched on this but I feel like I need to put it more bluntly.
NOBODY should dress "for the fun of it". That is not a valid reason and all that you are doing is making others perceive this as a choice, when for the REAL CD'ers and TS', it is anything but. So if you are doing it for the fun of it than please stop... Stop setting the rest of us back for your own selfish reasoning. How dare you try and make it seem like a choice.Actually, these two quotes really address some key issues related to the whole transgender spectrum.
We see "Drag Queens" who often dress like women for entertainment purposes - and often do a satire of women - lots of dirty jokes, some sexist, and good lip synching. Many drag queens dress up for the show and can't wait to get out of the dress and back into men's clothes.
We also see "Female Impersonators" who do impersonations of famous women. Again, this is for entertainment purposes only.
Then we get into the slippery slope of cross-dressers.
The "Dress at home and just for fun" boys are often never counted because they never come out in public. They may have the fantasy of wanting to be a pretty girl, for an hour or two, but mostly enjoy being men and have no desire for a sex change.
The "Sissy Boy" - these are men who enjoy combining female domination with cross-dressing. They may enjoy being "forced" or "dominated" into wearing women's clothes, and may even enjoy humiliation - they might even enjoy being made to look like a pretty woman - but they often struggle in the place between masculine and feminine. Many sissies are quite happy to be girls for a day, a week-end, or even a few weeks, so long as they have a strong female giving them support and encouragement.
The "Sexy ****" - these are men who want to be young sexy beautiful women, and want to look like their own fantasy girl. They are more likely to dress in shorter skirts, higher heels, and tighter blouses than genetic girls. They might even enjoy being perceived as a girl, but may not want to actually have a sex change.
The "Natural Transsexual" - this is a transsexual who would love to be a full-time woman, but feel that it isn't a viable option. They may have grown too tall, have difficulty passing, and/or may just be too masculine to be a pretty woman. They may also have family including parents, spouses, and children to be concerned about. They may have decided to wait, or they may have just decided they can't make the change and be accepted as a woman.
The "pre-life" transsexual - these are transsexuals who have taken tangible steps toward transition. This typically includes counseling, therapy, hormone therapy, electrolysis, laser hair removal, and are living week-ends, evenings, and off-hours as women. They may have started the legal process and are preparing for the name change so they can work and travel as "female" even if they still have male parts.
The "pre-op" transsexual - these are people who live full time as women. They have breasts, no facial hair, keep themselves groomed, and dress to pass at all times. They have not actually had the SRS, but they are living as a woman nearly full time. Many are saving up for SRS or have decided that they don't want to give up the benefits of a penis. Some have had their testes removed.
The "post-op" transsexual - in every way, these people are women, only a trained medical doctor would be able to tell otherwise. They don't have reproductive organs and can't bear children, but they look like women. For these women, the challenge is to keep their history under wraps. When people don't know about their past, they can just experience life as a woman, god and bad. Their biggest concern is that someone from their past would come around and "out them" in a way that would cause people to freak out. In some cases, the girls will have all of their work history and scholastic history altered to reflect their new status.
From the public point of view, most people don't see most of the cross-dressers and transgender MtFs who are living among them. Many experienced bullying and physical violence as children, and those fears are still present even in college and workforce. Many don't survive http://www.lauras-playground.com/tra..._mortality.htm The general public sees Drag Queens and Female impersonators, and jocks hamming it up for special events such as Halloween or rallies, but they don't see the millions of transgender men who are literally in a life-or-death struggle with their own sexual identity. They don't realize that when a teen-age boy commits suicide, that he was wrestling with gender identity and sexual preference issues. The public doesn't see that many transgender men are so poorly informed that they don't even know that there are others like them.
When I was growing up, I didn't know there was anybody like me. I saw Milton Berle and other "ugly dressers" who dressed up as part of a comedy act. I'd also seen female impersonators, who could sing and dance like the real actress. It wasn't until I was 19 years old (Birthday) that I found out that there were other transvestites who liked to dress like girls. Even then I assumed that they were gay, and struggled because I still saw men in their violent nature, the LAST thing I wanted was for some man to be forcing himself on me and forcing me to do things he wanted me to do - that I didn't want to do. I had been attacked by a gay boy my own age - I was able to diffuse the situation by accidentally hitting the horn on my car. Still, I was in despair because I couldn't imagine how an attractive woman would love me if she knew how badly I wanted to be a girl. I had only met one Lesbian and she had no interest in me.
It took 10 more years to make contact with other transgender people - via usenet newsgroups. When I finally came out on usenet, I was quite surprised to see how many other people there were like me, and how many of them were experiencing the same sense of isolation and loneliness - even in marriage, that I was experiencing. I was also astonished to find, once I did start to come out, how many women actually WERE interested, even if they just wanted to go shopping with me.
Wow lots of responses. It seems to me that for some who are going to transition it means something completely different than those that are completely retaining their male persona and who are dressing part time. For those part time people it better be fun or else why would you be doing it?
I do think that there is sometimes (but not exclusively!) a sexual component to it that dressing fulfills. Some may deny that feeling, but I think it has always existed at least at one time for most people.
Yep, me too. I love dressing, it's fun
What better fun is there?
I mainly dress for fun, comfort, ... stress release ... & it's the thing to do when attending the TG support group...
- Phoebe Brenne
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