Should I Stay or Shoud I Go?

[docrobbysherry]

I'm sorry, Stephanie! The hardest thing is making difficult relationship decisions feeling the way u do! When I separated, I still loved my ex and felt we would get back together eventually. But, she didn't and it was over. Here's what I learned:

1. My wife and I got along better as soon as we separated! My wife was/is bipolar. When she started going off on me, I simply hung up or drove home!

2. Our 2 kids benefited when we separated! No more listening to our pointless, heated arguing.

3. I would tell your wife "God helps those that help themselves". If she agrees to see a QUALIFIED therapist for her/your issues, u may consider reconciling. Make her do it BEFORE u make any moves! And, if she quits, u quit, too.

4. Do not put up with irrational co-dependant crap. Coolly explain you're done with emotional arguing, then leave. U can't have a successful relationship that way.

5. Don't for a MINUTE think this is about your dressing. It's NOT! It's about the 2 of u, period!

[Brianna612]

Look at the past. What has happened? History will repeat itself. She may accept your CDing just to get you back then tell you that you have to quit. If she is unwilling to go to therapy with you then she will not change. Can you live with that? The younger kids will accept a breakup much easier than the older ones. At least that was my experience.

My X said she would try to accept my CDing but she was just looking for reasons to end the relationship. She went to her therapist and came home with negative info about me. She was not working on her issues at all and had no interest to do so. Even though tough on the kids at the time, they are doing great now. The turmoil at home together was harder on them by far than the breakup.

Good luck which ever way you decide.

[Dawn cd]

Frankly, Stephanie, I don't think it's appropriate for me or anyone here to advise you as to what you should do. We don't have the qualifications or the knowledge. You have a therapist: listen to her (or him), then rely on your own wisdom. We are good at offering comfort or giving advice on practical things, but not for life-decisions.

[Duana]

I ended a 27 year marriage about 3 years ago; nothing to do with CDing. I could not rip the bandaid off. Even though I left, I hung on for about 18 months while separated. Finally, with the help of Gigi, I was able to get it done.

Looking back, I wasted so much time being unhappy with her. Life is too damn short for that crap. I'm happier. My ex is happier. Get it over with and quit wasting time. Staying together "for the kids" is the biggest form of BS there is. An unhappy household together is MUCH worse for the kids than 2 happy households apart.

Don't be where I am, regretting that I should have divorced my ex about 15 years ago.

[vivian fair]

LilSissyStevie has made a definite and very to the point statement,and after 18 years I'm sure you know its true. OK today, rotten the rest of the week! This is not religion. The bible named women first,but today 95%of women crossdress in male attire. So why do we let others say we're wrong and let females lead the charge. Not just those with Bi-polar conditions act this way regularly. Leave on an up-note day,if their are any,and then work as hard as possible to get your children away from her. With out you to bully it's likely she'll start on one of them.

[ReineD]

but today 95%of women crossdress in male attire.

Sorry, but I am NOT crossdressing when I put on a pair of jeans. They are cut for my waist to hip ratio (the average man cannot wear them well unless he wears hip pads), and they are sold in women's stores and in women's sizes.

You could do the same, you know. You could wear a manskirt (such as a kilt) and present as a man. This would mean no other feminine adornment: no makeup, no long hair, no jewelry, no girlie shoes. If you did this, there's no way that I would be telling you that you were dressing in female attire.