Very interesting situation!!!!

[Jess Marie]

So, my girlfriends apartment has a total of 4 girls. They are all good friends and very nice people. I'm sure if they knew about me, they would accept and love every second of it, and here is why.

One of the girls, lets call her Susan, has a boyfriend, who I shall call Brent, who used to be a female. Yes, Brent is a GG who had a reassignment surgery to become Brent. I haven't got to meet him yet, but I am excited too. I hear he is very short, even for a girl, at a whopping 5 foot 1 inch.

I really want to facebook him and talk to him about my dressing, since he only got the operation within the past 2 years (1 of the girls in the apartment was Brents roommate freshman year). So, I guess if you happen to be on here Brent of Upstate NY, please get ahold of me on here (not FB, where my SO sometimes logs on).

To all others, what is your suggestion? I really want to talk to him, just general curiosity, but also to see if there is anyway he can help me develop into being a better woman, and I help him be a better man. I'm pretty torn right now, because I know there would be ZERO judgement from him and he could really help me, and on the other hand, what if my SO finds out and has a cow?

[AllieSF]

I would leave your curiosity on the side line until after you meet him and both of you get a chance to know each other. You never really know where someone is in their own transition and life. He may just want to be known as Brent and not have anyone, especially a stranger bring up his past. Once you get to know him you will have a better idea as to whether it will be a good idea to bring up your own life story. So, go slow, watch, listen and become a friend with a guy. Later you can decide what to do. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you.

[lauriep]

Don't be so sure about him. A lot of homosexual and transgender people don't exactly like CDs. I'm not sure why, but I have heard this a few times.

[Jess Marie]

Thanks for the wonderful advice. I guess that pink fog clouded my judgement, its probably better to wait. Patience is a virtue, which is why good things take time.

[Stephenie S]

If he is a transman leave him be. Don't "out" him. He has worked hard to be the man he is, Don't expect him to be all excited about helping you become a better woman. He has zero interest in thinking about what it means to be female.

Get to know him as a man. That's what he wants. Please don't expect him to want to help you become a woman.

Put the shoe on the other foot. How excited are you about being a guy?

Just MHO.

S

[mikiSJ]

I would tread very lightly. I have known two very masculine women who wanted nothing to do with genuine men; didn't want to hang with guys, felt very jealous when men were around "their" women.

Changing body parts doesn't always change mindsets.

Miki

[STACY B]

Yea words of wisdom ,,Listen up ,,He might not want to be outed ? Your way better off mixing it up with the lady's that have nothing in there past . Sometimes the people like us with gender troubles aren't the right ones for the job ,,,, He mite just be tired an want to be left alone about it an get on with his life ..

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jess, Be careful This could blow up on you.

[Badtranny]

Jess I think the others have made it pretty plain. Trans people are not cross-dressers and making the assumption that he even cares about your closeted activities is probably just a good way to get your feelings hurt.

I understand your excitement about meeting a fellow TG person but how much do you really have in common with him? From what I can tell, not much. He has made a life decision some time ago and is doing the hard work of transition. He is not living a secret life and he is not hoping to come out to anybody. Your shared TG issues are so different that it's barely a commonality much less something to bond over.

[Jess Marie]

Thank you for the wonderful advice. I'm taking it and just keeping everything on the down low. In regards to him being out, I'm pretty sure everyone knows. From what my SO said, he is very open about it and takes the questions quite well. I mean, he isn't strutting his package around, but I guess he is pretty chill about the whole situation.

[Cassandra Lynn]

You answered my first question, i was curious as to how this was known.

But still, get to know him as a person, plenty of time to 'maybe talk' much later. And as mentioned his helping you is prolly not ever gonna happen.

Plus i'd be cautious about being even a little bit out with someone who knows your SO personally or even indirectly, a little bit out can turn to all the way out in the blink of an eye.

[Annie D]

I don't think people undergo reassignment surgery to let everyone in the world ask them questions about it. I would introduce myself and get to know him and become a friend or not. I can't imagine imposing a lot of questions to gay person about being gay or a straight person about being straight or a woman about being female or a man about being male; you get the idea.

[Jill Devine]

I think your SO could be hurt if she finds out, eventually, that you were confiding in another person instead of her. If she feels betrayed then you will have an extra mountain to climb! Why not start with your SO first? She should be #1 to overcome.

Good luck.

[Beverley Sims]

I would try and hook up with him through the other girls.
NOT on facebook or ANY social media of similar origins.
The personal approach would be more rewarding I am sure.

I missed one point here, your girlfriend.
You do need to have her on board.
Melissa has made a good point as well, just because you are CD someone who has transitioned may not have a lot of time for you.
You do have to make yourself interesting to the other people around you. They have heard most of it already.