There are basically two different types of CDers: fetish/compulsion-based (sexual or non-sexual) with no internal feminine gender ID component, and CDers who do feel a degree of gender ambiguity, even if they do not identify as TS.
If a CDer does this just for kicks (sexual fetish or non-sexual compulsion) and he otherwise identifies as a solid male then he likely will not feel the need to present publicly as a woman, unless of course he is looking for sex partners, or a part of his fetish/compulsion (and there are many variables to the fetish/compulsion) is to be "seen" by others as a beautiful woman.
My SO falls under the second category and even though most people like him refer to themselves as CDers (as opposed to TS), he identifies as dualgender (or bigender). Others here who are like my SO, in addition to referring themselves still as CDers, may also refer to themselves as "middlepathers", or "Transgenders (TGs)", but they all mean the same thing: a person who does experience a milder form of gender dysphoria than a TS who either must seek sexual reassignment surgery or go insane, as opposed to dressing solely for kicks. I must also add that there are CDs/TGs/dualgenders/bigenders/middlepathers in this category who fear being "found out" so much (thus losing jobs, families, etc), that they satisfy themselves with remaining closeted for many years.
Everyone had different coping mechanisms.
For the benefit of others who may read this, please keep in mind that I'm writing only about the major categories and there are some overlaps. I can't possibly account for every since variance and motive for dressing in one post (which is turning out to be lengthier than I had intended
).
So, back to DM, if there is a
degree of internal alignement with the feminine gender, then it makes sense that the person will eventually seek to move beyond a one-dimensional expression of this gender, which is what happens when the expression is limited to appearance only. It's kinda empty to live your life alone in a room expressing who you are. So there develops a need for social interaction as there does for every other human being unless a person is a hermit ... an emotional desire to be seen, heard, and validated, even if a person is bigender and does not want to transition. They will still benefit from interacting with others as a female on occasion and thus relieve their milder gender dysphoria.
Another way to do this would be to present as a totally feminine male (in guy mode with perhaps long hair, maybe long nails, and maybe a shaved body, wearing the pretty clothing that we in our society attach to femaleness and that CDers find attractive, but without attempting to pass as a woman), which is not something that most people in our society are comfortable with ... hence the need to fly under the radar and attempt to present as a woman occasionally, especially if a hetero CDer does not want to be perceived as being gay (which is yet another societal taboo in many areas).
If we lived in a society that did not put constraints on how men choose to present themselves, if it was allowed for men to be "pretty" without any judgment of any kind, I imagine there would be very few CDers of the second category that I mention above and honestly I wonder just how many fetish/compulsive CDers there would be as well, although there would still be people who are sexual or shopping compulsives no matter how they dress.
And come to think of it, I wonder how many transsexuals there would be too, although there are people who do know when they are quite young (and perhaps not so young) that their genitalia does not match who they feel they are inside, and so these people would still seek sexual reassignment surgery.
If you haven't guessed already, the whole business of gender non-conformity is pretty complex and it spans biological, psychological, emotional, sexual, medical, social, cultural, legal, spiritual, moral, and ethical concerns, all to varying degrees.
Originally Posted by DoorMat
