There are only TWO kinds of CDer. True or false?

[Wildaboutheels]

Group A: Those who "knew" from a very early age.

Or... Group B] Those that found out or figured out later [MAYBE MUCH LATER] that they were somehow different?

Maybe some folks here, [seems like quite a few] believe all folks in group B are LYING? And/or that they also really fall into group A?

The CONFUSING part, is why so many here keep insisting that "not telling your SO" about "something that is very important" [about yourself] is "lying by omission". I always thought it was "natural" for ALL folks to "change" in a # of ways as they got older?

Maybe all the confused folks here have not changed in ANY way, shape or form as you have gotten older or matured? I guess that is possible????

Possible yes, but not very likely.

[Kate Simmons]

Many are in denial most of their lives Hon. As far as change, it is inevitable. If we don't change as we mature, we haven't learned anything and usually get lost in the shuffle.

[linda allen]

There are as many kinds of CDers as there are CDers. Just like all black people are not the same, all white people are not the same, all men or all women are not the same.

Many of us have no idea why we do it, we just do.

So - to answer your question - false.

[Erica2Sweet]

...Or... Group B] Those that found out or figured out later [MAYBE MUCH LATER] that they were somehow different?

Maybe some folks here, [seems like quite a few] believe all folks in group B are LYING? And/or that they also really fall into group A?

The CONFUSING part, is why so many here keep insisting that "not telling your SO" about "something that is very important" [about yourself] is "lying by omission". I always thought it was "natural" for ALL folks to "change" in a # of ways as they got older?

...

I think the lying by omission happens when some has engaged in crossdressing, meets and becomes romantically entangled with a woman, and knows very well he should be discussing the crossdressing with her, but decides not to in hopes she will become so entangled with him, she could not bear to leave. This, to me, is deceitful and incredibly selfish.

For those who do not experience desires to crossdress early in life, I don't see how they could be lying about something they have not yet experienced or felt. With regard to this point specifically, I've not seen one instance on this board that suggested otherwise.

[Beverley Sims]

Those in "B" just figured it out later.
Slow thinkers from the mountains I think.

[EllenJo]

I think the lying by omission happens when some has engaged in crossdressing, meets and becomes romantically entangled with a woman, and knows very well he should be discussing the crossdressing with her, but decides not to in hopes she will become so entangled with him, she could not bear to leave. This, to me, is deceitful and incredibly selfish.

For those who do not experience desires to crossdress early in life, I don't see how they could be lying about something they have not yet experienced or felt. With regard to this point specifically, I've not seen one instance on this board that suggested otherwise.

In today's world of the internet it is easy to realize that you are not the only CD in the world. However even 20 years ago this was not the case. I told my SO after we met but before we married. At the time I was so in love with her (and still am) that CDing became a secondary thing. She knows but does not support or participate and that is fine with me.

I am just trying to express the fact that for older CDrs the world was a different place 20-30-40 years ago. Don't be too judgemental.

[Jilmac]

I consider myself to be in group A because I started experimenting wearing my sisters' clothes at around age 7. I knew then that I was different from most boys but didn't know why I liked girls clothes so much. As my experimentation morphed into serious dressing, I sought out ways to stop because I didn't want anybody else to think I was wierd or perverted. After seeing a therapist I realized that my urge to dress (and totally enjoy it) was part of my inner being.

That being said, I also believe there is a group B, those who discover their desire to dress after many years of denial caused by social, political, or religious mores. But I do not believe there is such a thing as lying by omission. To me, a lie is a verbal falsehood and to be an actual lie it must be suggested or implied. Omission may have numerous causes such as; fear, denial, anxiety, or those mentioned above. I told both my spouses, and past and present SO's about my dressing. Both spouses disapproved and consequently I kept it hidden (omission), I wasn't lying to them because they knew beforehand. I'm out to my present SO and others but still keep it hidden from some of my adult chidren, am I lying to them? I think not.

[kimdl93]

I suspect there may be a lot more variation in starting points and changes over time among CDrs. Many of us aren't quite sure what we are even as we enter adulthood, and we often don't know if we will "always" be this way. Sure its ideal to tell your SO early on in the relationship - if you know enough to do so. Its better to tell anytime in a relationship than to be discovered. Either way, its a crap shoot, but at least if you tell, you have some opportunity to shape the conversation.

My first wife got me back into dressing after a multi-year hiatus - with a little CD bedroom play. It was fun, we enjoyed it and she knew then that this was a part of me. It worked out for a long time and did not contribute to our divorce. I told my second wife before we married and, we enjoyed it, she accepted it as part of me and its working fine.

[Cheryl T]

My feeling is that we are all the same and that the point of "discovery" for each of us just arrived at a different time in our lives. Some of us began quite young for one reason or another and others made the realization much later. Still others were at points in between.
I don't feel it's denial or lying in any sense....it just happened for them when it happened.

[audreyinalbany]

the way I see it, there are two kinds of people n this world: The kind who think there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.

[Foxglove]

the way I see it, there are two kinds of people n this world: The kind who think there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.

Very good, Audrey! I'm not sure what the point here is: there are only two kinds of CDers--those who knew at an early age and those who figured it out later. OK. It just strikes me as a weird criterion. Why divide CDers along that line? I can't see that it's terribly important. Not nearly as important, e.g., as the divide that does exist on this forum between those who have some sort of long to be female and those who don't. That strikes me as significant.

And then it also escapes me why that question should be linked with the issue of "lying by omission". I don't see any connection between the two--unless some kind of research shows that those who know at an early age tell their SO's at an early stage of their relationship.

At any rate, I knew at an early age, but didn't figure it out till later--and I didn't tell my SO until too late, but that didn't turn out to be significant since our relationship wasn't.

Annabelle

[ReineD]

There are only TWO kinds of CDer. True or false?

False. There aren't only two groups of anything in this community. And there are so many different variables and overlaps that influence any desires or choices, that it's impossible to classify into ONLY two groups.

There are people who felt an attraction to women's things when they were younger and who acted on it. There are others who felt the same attraction but who didn't act on it. There are some who felt a great deal of attraction and others who had just a passing interest, whether they acted on it or not. And there are different kinds of attraction: is is a desire to "be a girl", or is it a boy's desire to indulge in the sexual feelings that some girls' things stir in him, or is there overlap and everything in between the two?

Also, what is "younger", "later", and "much later"? Where's the cut off, since every person on this site has experienced different desires, at various times of their lives, to different intensities, that also ebb and flow during a life depending on other life circumstances, not to mention the degree of imagination someone has. What if indulging in a lively and intensely satisfying fantasy does the trick for many years? Does this mean the person is any less a CDer than if he actively pursues it, if his life circumstances permit it?

I would say, the only two groups of men there are, are those who are interested in wearing women's things, and those who aren't.

... but even then, this can be blurry. If a teenage boy wants to get it on with a girl and she playfully requests that he should wear her panties, you can bet your bottom dollar he'll put them on, just as he would if she suggested he paint his face green, even if wearing the panties or painting his face green on his own would do nothing for him. lol

[Acastina]

If we don't change as we mature, we haven't learned anything and usually get lost in the shuffle.

Bingo! There's also that strangely comforting phenomenon of not caring so neurotically what others might think or say as we watch our remaining years dwindle. Be true to yourself while you still can...

[Ressie]

You can divide most anything into two groups. It's called duality or dichotomy. Humans are more complex than that, but you're premise isn't wrong. There are also those that were forced to wear women's articles at some time in their life and liked it! Once one tries those panties on, they always want more!

[Karren H]

Doesn't who you are sexually attracted to come before when you knew?. then there's those who are a girl trapped in a male body.... who are attracted to men but didn't find out till they were older.... and like to wear jeans...... and were first born with the wrong finger longer than the other...... and was in the IT field.......

[STACY B]

TRUE !! Really True ,,,2 Kinds of CDs ,,,That's it ,,, Those who dress ,,, An those who would Love to dress an don't .

[Marleena]

Doesn't who you are sexually attracted to come before when you knew?. then there's those who are a girl trapped in a male body.... who are attracted to men but didn't find out till they were older.... and like to wear jeans...... and were first born with the wrong finger longer than the other...... and was in the IT field.......

Pssst Karren. You left out Bi when dressed and Alien abductions.lol.

[ArleneRaquel]

IMHO,
There are as many CD's as there are angels dancing on the head of a pin, too many to count.

[Foxglove]

If a teenage boy wants to get it on with a girl and she playfully requests that he should wear her panties, you can bet your bottom dollar he'll put them on. . .

Um, Reine, I'm not sure I'd bet my bottom dollar on this one. I'd bet my top one, though.

[Karren H]

Pssst Karren. You left out Bi when dressed and Alien abductions.lol.

damn.... and those abducted by green aliens or grey ones?

[Marleena]

damn.... and those abducted by green aliens or grey ones?

Both.. they are both known to probe not so pleasant places.

[ArleneRaquel]

Both.. they are both known to probe not so pleasant places.

I think that I would prefer being probed by a green alien !

[ReineD]

Doesn't who you are sexually attracted to come before when you knew?. then there's those who are a girl trapped in a male body.... who are attracted to men but didn't find out till they were older.... and like to wear jeans...... and were first born with the wrong finger longer than the other...... and was in the IT field.......

I have a girl friend from High School who married, raised kids, and fell in love with a woman at her workplace at age 40. She had no clue that she was lesbian/bi/pan/or-whatever until then. She genuinely had no clue, we've asked her, since she could have come out as lesbian to us way back then and none of us (her closest friends) would have cared. In fact, another one of us at the time did come out as a lesbian and we all accepted it.

[Marleena]

I think that I would prefer being probed by a green alien !

Do they do things differently? I heard they're both kinky..

[ArleneRaquel]

Do they do things differently? I heard they're both kinky..

Marleena,
The Greens are softer to the touch.