It's a combination of crossdressing and being sort of transgendered. It's basically ruined my life. Women simply aren't attracted to guys who have feminine traits/behaviors. They want a guy who's 'all man'. I understand that; I don't like it, but I understand it. It destroyed my marriage, and has kept me from becoming too close to pretty much everyone, because I feel that the chances of acceptance is so very, very remote.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I can say I have come to at least become conflicted with it. It was all fun and games when I was a kid, just giggling while looking in a mirror wearing a dress and lipstick. I came to love dressing as a woman until I became an adult and began to wish that I didn't start dressing, most of it because of the social and relationship difficulties that comes with dressing. Crossdressers make me want to crossdress, clothes I like make me want to crossdress, but these days I can't be Carly too long because when I look in the mirror and see the girl, I just want to stop and go back to male mode
How will it cost you your job? Do you cross-dress at work?Originally Posted by AnitaH
You will become stronger in the ways of the Pink Fog. May the Pink Fog guide you and be with you now and forever.
There are constant conflicts with the drive to crossdress. My religion condemns it, and to be truthful, it is not natural, and I know God does not approve of unnatural behavior. I can only hope for mercy, and forgiveness. There are times i can not imagine more fun than dressing up as the super tall gorgeous lady, other than actually having such a gg. Having been bullied as a boy, by siblings, and at chool, and some jobs, I am paranoid, of being outed, and harrassed, so i very seldo go out. I do hope to go out a few times, around Halloween, even though i don't celbrate it. Yes, there are times i wish i had never staarted dressing. Life may have been irritatin as a male only, but maybe safer and less guilt.
It certainly has affected me, all my life, often in a bad way, with internal struggles. Now, having found a loving, supportive wife, I embrace it in all its positive aspects.
I see this as a blessing as I take it to a spiritual level... yes, hard to do, but the best path to take.....!
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Love your woman within...
Know thy self -- Be your true self......
Alice, if you feel conflicts about being religious and dressing please do join us and talk to us in the religious section. We always have open ears and many members tread the same paths as you.
The main forums do tend to be pretty free of religion (to keep controversy down) so if you feel the need to talk about it - please post with us in there.
Undoubtedly, but there's no rule against repeating oneself. I'm probably guilty of it myself when a newbie asks a question which my experiences might answer. The old hands probably roll their eyes and think "There Eryn goes again..."
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
Do I Regret Crossdressing? Nej!
As others have said or implied, you have to use a little common sense regarding how discreet or indiscreet you are about crossdressing (or any other aspect of your life that might lead to bias from others). There are indeed some transphobic people out there, which means that you have to be discreet about your crossdressing in settings where you’re likely to encounter such people. Do you insist on telling everyone you meet about any and all aspects of your personal life?
I’m quite sure that you would be better off if you did not blame crossdressing for your misfortunes. Look for other, more basic causes. If you face discrimination because others think you are gay, then you have some legal recourse in most US states and communities. In fact, in 38 states non-discrimination laws that include transgender persons exist. After all is said and done, the fact remains that most crossdressers and most lesbians and gays are doing just fine. If you’re not doing just fine, then it’s time to examine your situation and find a plan for getting those job interviews, job offers, and co-worker acceptance on the job. What are you doing that’s turning people off? Do you crossdress on the job some days but not others? Do you make loud homophobic comments if some other employee asks if you’re gay?
Regarding your final questions, do I regret crossdressing? No, the desire to crossdress is part of who I am; and I accept myself. How has crossdressing hurt my life? Hum, that’s a loaded question. It is sort of like asking, “Do you still beat your wife?” Hey, wait a minute! I don’t even beat my eggs!
Best wishes.
Last edited by Eryn; 10-20-2012 at 06:53 PM. Reason: No need to quote entire original post.
This is something that I have thought about as lot but it is something that I keep going back to. This site has helped me come to terms with the fact that I love dressing up and always will. Regret is only something that society makes us feel about what we do. I have gone through a big reality check over the last month and I say to anybody who regrets cross dressing, as I have done many times. Don't. We all love what we do so why not just keep doing it. Lucy
I have no regrets. I think crossdressing has added to the quality of my life.
I have remained in the closet though, so my situation is different than yours.
I don't regret the crossdressing per say....but actions I've done that have only hurt myself. My big one is that my marriage is going to end, but I believe because of a combination of cding and drinking and more importantly the HIDING of it that hurt me. But, now that's all water under the bridge and I can't change the past so it's time to move on. I now enjoy my tg friends, the folks I've met on here and the fact that I'm starting to date now. So, the future is indeed looking brighter.
[Religious content removed]
If you have a right to cite religion, then I have an equal right to cite religion...
Last edited by Eryn; 10-21-2012 at 01:03 AM. Reason: Religious posts belong in the religion forum.
No you don't. Just because another member pushes the limits of the rules does not mean that you have any right to violate them. Babeba already suggested that the religious aspect of this discussion be taken to the religious forum where it belongs. Please continue it there.
Last edited by Eryn; 10-21-2012 at 01:02 AM.
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