I go through phases with my CDing where I can't get enough and then have no desire to dress at all. It's been this way since I can remember and sometimes the time away lasts weeks and other times month and months if not years. I was at an all time high with regarding to how much I was dressing and even going out in public dressed but now all of a sudden I have no desire to dress.
Anyone else have the same thing?
Sounds like its kind of a hobby for you, then? I have the same with many of my hobbies. Some periods I go all in and sometimes I just can't be bothered with it...in which time I spend time on something else instead
I used to have these feelings on and off some years ago...
Just another passing phase.
Wait till the next one...
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I am long since past hating myself for who I am.
Love/hate? I love putting them on....I hate taking them off.
I do not dislike myself for wearing womens clothes at all. Never did. I used to be embarrassed on how I looked until I learned to make myself look more like a woman. All my life I wanted to be a girl and though I never will be one, I am learning how to look like one when I can. I still have a long way to go but I am determined to succeed.
I think you should try to figure out what your state of mind is when you feel the need to be en femme and not be en femme. If cross dressing acts a stress reliever, maybe other aspects of your personal life are going well when you do not feel the desire.
I don't hate myself for CDing. That is not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that sometimes it's all I can think of and other times I could care less. I don't want to be a girl but enjoy dressing as one at times.
I feel as though I went through a love/hate stage, but finally came to the realization that I enjoy CDing, there's nothing wrong with it, and it makes me a better person. Not much to hate there!
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
I think what you are describing a lot of cross dressers will identify with. It can cause an awful lot of confusion, I know it certainly did for me. But it just seems to be the way for many of us. You are certainly not alone in what you describe.
Roll with it and enjoy the good times. When it's not happening try to relax and do something else that is meaningful to you and don't worry about it.
It's easy to say that, but with practice I found it helped me.
I don't think your feelings are unusual. Lately, if I could I would live 24 hours a day as a woman and not miss dressing as a man. But, alas, I cannot - married, in the closet, children (almost out of the house) etc.
I do hate having to undress and go back to drab. I'm still in the discovery phase and letting go and rolling with the punches. I love to dress, but also present as passable and go out and do my errands as a woman. I'm not too sure what this all means, but it sure a pleasure and fullfilling to find out.
I am sure you are not alone in feeling the way you do.
I love it.
I also go through times when I don't have the desire dress, but it always comes back and is always enjoyable.
I don't hate cd-ing or myself for cd-ing. I hate that I have to keep it from being found. I have let 2 know my secret and that helps some. I love getting dressed in what i want to wear, but I hate having to remove most of it if I need to leave the house. I live alone and get my children every other weekend, so I spend a lot of time home dressed while I go about my daily things. I do hate the fact that I have been alienating myself from my friends so I CAN dress. I just realized that I was doing this tonight. I am going to make more time to spend with my friends away from home. THis will take time away from dressing, but it is also a little blessing also; my friends are the two friends that know my secret. As such, spending time with them, I will be able to openly talk about CD-ing. The really great thing is they both have tons of outfits and shoes that no longer fit, which means I will be getting the things that will fit me, and vice versa 8-)
If i knew then what i know now, i would have stolen my ex wife's clothes. I loved the way she dress
Megan Briana
I am totally in love with my CD'ing.
Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years.Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady
My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty
I'm Always Rainbow Proud
Hard to hate if you love doing it.
If you hate yourself about anything all that is going on is a process that leads to illness & early death.
Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years.
My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty
I'm Always Rainbow Proud
Hate may be a bit strong in my case, its more like I'm just not interested for awhile.
Sometimes it just feels like allot of work or Id simply rather be doing something else.
It has always become fun again ; some outfit will catch my eye or I get a bad weather day and Im enjoying dressing again.
In my case the huge swings have mellowed over time. I believe when I dressed allot like at a conference; I get my fill and then take some time off.
For me its normal and I have stopped trying to control any of it.
Yeah, I have a love/hate relationship. It's kind of conflicting
Sounds like me about fourty years ago! But even then it didn't last very long!
Oh-oh, you got a problem! "A Love-Hate Relationship" would almost always mean that you haven't learned to accept yourself. Because, how could you really Hate You? Not if you understand that your reality hurts no one, unless they allow it to. (And, of course that also includes Y-O-U too.)
WORK on that idea of self-acceptance. Your femme-self ain't going anywhere, and the more you try to suppress her with loathing and self-hate, the stronger will be "The Rebound Effect."
As a kid, you eventually got tired of trying to interact with that Yo-Yo. Just the act of the damned thing going up and down, up and down, got old, didn't it? Try to realize that your doing the same thing with your life. It's a pointless exercise!
Peace and Love, Joanie
[QUOTE=sterling12;2995681]Oh-oh, you got a problem! "A Love-Hate Relationship" would almost always mean that you haven't learned to accept yourself. Because, how could you really Hate You? Not if you understand that your reality hurts no one, unless they allow it to. (And, of course that also includes Y-O-U too.)
WORK on that idea of self-acceptance. Your femme-self ain't going anywhere, and the more you try to suppress her with loathing and self-hate, the stronger will be "The Rebound Effect."
Most have you have taken this out of context. The Love/Hate thing is a metaphor and all that I'm saying is sometimes the desire to dress is intense and at other times it just isn't there. I DON'T hate myself for dressing and I'm not ashamed of it. When I do it I enjoy it and right now I just don't have a strong desire to dress. A lot of people on this forum live everything dressed and for me that would never happen. It's not that I think it is wrong or anything like that it's just not my way of life. I enjoy being a man and I also enjoy dressing as a woman but if I were to choose I would stay a man.
I find that my thoughts about crossdressing have changed over time. I suppose I do fit the "hobby" mold, in that I've picked crossdressing up, explored it for awhile, then put it away. I think the main reason I kept moving away from it was that I was frustrated with my appearance. I do understand that different people seek different things, but I tend to be a very-focused Type A "must win" personality type. I am 39 now, and in the early 20s I was buying a few articles from online places without getting sizes right. In my most recent period of interest, I starting going to Macy's or Kohl's and shop off the rack (I am 5'10 but very fortunate in that as a crossdresser I am only 150# and can fit easily into a Junior Large off the rack).
While I can enjoy satisfaction from an element of crossdressing, such as just shoes, ultimately the greater the complexity and the more thorough my appearance, the more deeply enjoyable it has become. I do find it's an outlet - I am very serene and content when I can dress.
Like some others said, I also don't have this as an open part of my relationship, and I have given that thought, but I am not sure I want it to be a part of that, even though I dislike "secrets". When I began seriously dating my wife the crossdressing was dormant until after our marriage (over two years), so I was surprised it came back into play, but I would not be surprised if it goes dormant again - my intense hobby interests tend to go 6-12 months. I will say the crossdressing interest has been drastically more intense this time, I believe mainly to success at overcoming so many of my previous obstacles in appearance.
NOT really, it is simply part of who I am
I used to have something similar that lasted for years. Looking back on it, what I was feeling was denial. Since then, I have come to accept myself for what and who I really am, and it has made things much better in my life.
I find hate takes up to much energy, so I save it for important stuff, not for something that came built in.
But I do wax and wane on the dressing, I've been known to not dress for very long periods and at other times I just can't get enough of dressing. I just go with the mood, and don't give it much though otherwise anymore.
It's all part of life, at least my life anyway. I still try to life by the old motto from the sixties, "if it feels good do it!"
Tina B.
Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.
I would not describe my feelings as "love - hate" but more satisfaction and frustration. I've been in the closet and have had to be very careful about when and how long / how much I can dress. For the most part, in the summer - I may only be able to wear panties for a short while. Other times, in the cooler months if I am traveling or of wife is out of town, I can go out underdresses in bra, cami and stockings. And perhaps in the house even try on a dress. Those are the more satisfying times. However the frustration is the desire to do more - makeup, shoes, hair and to find some nice conservative dresses or skirts / blouses over a full slip and silky lingerie.
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