The way to gain confidence is by going out, living your life. I have been full time for a couple years now and still get jitters once in a while but it fades pretty fast. I leave the house wearing what some might call "daring" and feel a bit nervous, I get in my car and my nervousness soon turns to "when is this stupid car gonna fall apart?"
But yeah for real - if you don't act nervous and just live your life, people are less likely to be rude. The few that will still be rude are usually trashy people who do not matter anyways.
With women loving gay men - I have no clue why that is. I mean who really cares what consenting adults do behind closed doors, but some gay men act all swishy and I personally think it is obnoxious. I have yet to see a CD or TS act swishy like that, regardless of their respective "levels" of gender identity.