Getting hit on

[Daisy41]

I'm still relatively new to embracing cross dressing, so somethings are still a shock to me. I had dressed last week at work for Halloween and I still receive compliments. What caught me off guard was when one employee seemingly flirted with me... but not with ME... I think. He basically complimented how I looked and how convincing I was but then proceeded to ask if I was doing it again foe any other contest. His body lannguage, smiles and tone of voice gave me the feeling he was genuinely attracted to me... or rather Daisy. Either way I am flattered that I am attractive as a girl but then creeped out for how he went about it. Was he hitting on Daisy? Hitting on me? This is mostly a rant as it's the first time this has happened. I am in no way interested in men, though I could get addicted to getting compliments, lol.

[Gena Gurl]

Daisy, I know what you mean, and I some times get labled a homophove here because I feel just like what you feel. Being a life long crossdresser (And I mean a long life) I too get hit up by both men and other CDs and yes I do like the compliments, but do not in any way do I encourage or give off vives that that's what I am interested in. I do have a girlfriend and like GGs only and just love to look feminine and realy enjoy that. The weird thing here is that they say that 80% or so of crossdressers are hetro, lord of mercy when I say that I do not like advances from other CDs and labled a Homophobe, go figure.

[franlee]

Without knowing the guy no-one can really answer your question. He may be a gay or bi and hitting on you and then he could be bi or heterro and hiting on Daisy. Then again he may be another CD and just overwhelmed at what you are and are accomplishing. The later could be nothing more than admiration an envy with no intent of a move on you at all, just a compliment. So many possibilities that only he could answer. The important thing is "you" got the compliments and the great feelings and that's what you or anyone else desires if you dress to look good! So enjoy, and try to relax and learn a little from each time. You have a brite future with your looks if you want to presue it. Don't over think or overreact just savior the moment in a few years you'll wish you had.

[kimdl93]

well, Daisy, if he was attracted to you - that's just human nature. You are kinda cute. But I wouldn't qualify his comments as hitting on you..he just revealed some interest, perhaps more than he intended, in Daisy.

But, beyond that, put aside the notion that you have to feel creeped out, unless someone is really being creepy. Some guys are gay. Its understandable that a gay male might approach, maybe even flirt a little with an attractive man or an attractive CDr . If one happens not to be gay, there's no need to feel weird about it. Just politely say, thanks but no thanks.

[Dana921]

I think this is part of the learning process for us, just as a girl may have admirers that she does not wish to have for whatever reason. I also think we as a group may be a bit over sensitive for many reasons, what ever they are. I really do think we need to take it in stride, accept it as a compliment and also as part of our own learning and realizing that we may inadvertantly give off signals inviting the approach. We may only intend it to be for a social chat but someone else who has no way of knowing us and our sexual preference may read our body language and mannerisms as meaning something else. But to take an insulted type of position, really is not fair to the other person unless they are really being too forward or rude. We ask for understanding and in my mind we need to recognize the confusing picture we present to those who are not up to speed. Just be polite and by directing the conversation to include discussion of your SO they will get the hint you are not interested in them in that way.

[Stephanie47]

See what happens next Halloween! You can ask him for some suggestions! That would clue you in to his intentions.

[Lady Catherine]

Many years ago when I would occationally get hit on by guys, I would treat it like a woman I wasn't interested in. Thank them for their interest and politely decline.

[LelaK]

God is a comedian; that's why s/he made us. (A sweet comedian that is.)

[ReineD]

There are lots of guys who are interested in men who wear women's clothing, for sexual reasons. If you ever put up a femme profile on a social site where other CDers habitually do this, you'll see a lot more overtly sexual advances (along with pics of their privates) than a GG would. Generally these men do not want their buddies to know what floats their boat.

Not saying this is what your friend was after, just describing a rather substantial element of men who are interested specifically in CDers and pre-op transsexuals.

[Nicole Erin]

OK let me spell it out for you - one or both situations are at work here -

1) He is into trans girls
2) He is TG himself.

For MY money I am gonna say he is probably into "Daisy". And who wouldn't be? You do have a good look about you, I would say "girl next door" type.

Listen - straight men do NOT compliment us TG on our looks unless they are into us, assuming they know our birth gender and in this case he does know. I know this cause at my job, I go as Erin each day and while the women will often tell me I look good, I have yet to have any men show interest. Of course even if any of them did find me cute, they would probably be too embarrassed to admit they find the tranny of the store attractive. ehh don't get me started there.

But yes, he is into you.

EDIT - Reine is just pulling your leg, haha, why men never post photos of their privates on dating sites. Since when does THAT ever happen?

[Tiffany Grace]

As you mentioned enjoy the compliment. It is a wonderful thing to be complimented on our fem side.

[LunaDarling]

you know i understand what youre saying, but there is just one thing i disagree with, and ive heard other CD say it to. referring to your femme, Daisy, as not you to me is kinda silly. yes we are dressing and identifying with the other gender, which suggests that we are being a different gender than we are born with which leads to thinking that we are a different person. when this isnt the case. you are not a different person just because you look differently. if you grow out your hair and nails as a boy are you a new person? how bout when you shave? put on different clothes? what line is it that you would say you are no longer yourself? youre still the same person just breaking the societal norms of what are expected of your gender. you still deserve those compliments, they were directed at you, and they are just as real as any other ones. Love Love Love, Luna

[skirtsuit]

I think it's mainly the old stereotype that crossdressers must be gay rearing it's ugly head. I have been hit on when out & about often by the creepiest of guys. However, I would have to disagree with Nicole in that I have received genuine compliments from men that weren't hitting on me at all but I think were just saying that I was pulling it off OK.

Best,
SS

[ReineD]

EDIT - Reine is just pulling your leg, haha, why men never post photos of their privates on dating sites. Since when does THAT ever happen?

LOL.

Just to clarify for the OP who may not be aware of it, ... from the members here who, over the years, were put off by the admirers who felt it necessary to send pics of their erect penises when approaching them for sex, and also from all the hetero CDer profiles I've seen over the years (mostly myspace in the day) who explicitly said in bold capital letters, "If you are a man, DO NOT contact me, I'm not interested". lol There were reasons to post something like this right on the front page of a CDer's profile.

[KarenCDFL]

When my wife and I used to go out to the local Gender Clubs, I would get hit on all the time with "you look great" etc. I simply thanked the person for the compliment and if it got a bit sticky, I just either said thanks but I have to get back to my wife and friends. Or you could also say, "thanks but I am already involved" and just move on.

And I wholeheartedly agree... I loved the compliments too!

[Daisy41]

Thanks for all the feedback! This is exactly why I was confused. There's a lot of different things he could have meant by his compliments. Maybe he himself was a cross dresser and was simply trying to see if I did it more than for a "contest". Maybe he was genuinely interested in ME. Either way, it was mostly confusing because I've spent all my life interpreting girls and for once I found myself trying to interpret a guy. I wish I could say "well just put yourself in his shoes", but I've never thought like a typical guy (or girl for that matter).

I will say, though, after reflecting on the situation, the fact he hit on me wasn't creepy. I think I mistook surprise for "creeped out". Ultimately I'll take compliment and just treat him as a friendly human being, just as if it were a girl who was hitting on me as a guy.

Also, on the topic of this:

you know i understand what youre saying, but there is just one thing i disagree with, and ive heard other CD say it to. referring to your femme, Daisy, as not you to me is kinda silly. yes we are dressing and identifying with the other gender, which suggests that we are being a different gender than we are born with which leads to thinking that we are a different person. when this isnt the case. you are not a different person just because you look differently.

This is true. My wife even kisses me en femme because she knows I'm still who I am. Thanks for pointing this out to me

[Tracii G]

One thing we know Daisy he isn't creeped out by you.LOL
He finds you attractive and maybe it was his way to say you know its OK that you dress.You have peaked his interest and he may be a CD/TG and still in the closet.
I was out a few years ago with friends at a public park one was a GG and the other 3 of us were CD's.
We were cutting up and chatting near the kids playground and had a few guys checking us out.
Gail the GG and I headed for the rest rooms and one guy from that group was coming out of the men's side. He smiled and said you girls are gorgeous you care to come over and drink a beer with us?
I said no but thanks for asking.He said well the offer is on the table if you change your minds.That is as far as it went.
We got in the restroom and Gail said OMG you handled that so well I could have never done that.I said why? She said because he was sooo hot I would have peed myself.

[~Joanne~]

He certainly was showing some form of interest. Take the compliment and don't sweat the rest

[Vickie_CDTV]

Based on the circumstances, just explain to him that it was just dressing up for Halloween and for fun, and if he pushes just say something along the lines of, "Dude, I like girls. We are both guys and I am not into that, ok?"

Given it is a workplace situation, I would not say you are a crossdresser.

[AmyGaleRT]

You know what I might suggest, Daisy? Get yourself a ladies' wedding ring set you can wear while en femme. I did that, though for now I'm just wearing the engagement ring part of the set. I bought it, first and most importantly, to symbolize the commitment I have to my fiancee even as Amy, and second, because it really is a very femme piece of jewelry. But now I see it may have additional advantages, in deflecting the attention of "admirers"!

- Amy

[Cynthia Anne]

Looking at your avatar I would say he's got good taste in women! It is a great feeling to receive complements as such! I would take it just as a great complement!

[Beverley Sims]

I am not into men but it does make me feel weak at the knees when I get the compliments and some of the girls I were with in a group miss out.
I used to get teased a lot once about this.

[Angelofsomekind]

Just wait until they start buying you drinks! I'm not a big fan of getting hit on by guys, but it makes it easier.

[Aylineira]

I think in your case, he may be supportive of your CD'ing. Heck he could probably be one himself. You feel a little weird, which is the proper way to feel since you're not gay. I would just take this as a passing compliment and think nothing more of it - unless he really comes by and make you feel extraordinarily uncomfortable that is.

[docrobbysherry]

He wasn't hitting on u, Daisy. Maybe flirting at most?

Being hit on is like when that big guy followed me to my car at the deserted end of a Vegas parking garage and asked for a BJ!

Believe me, you'll KNOW when you're being hit on!