It occurs to me that so many of the photos that fellow forum members here have posted on this site were taken either in motel or in hotel rooms, based on the decor evident in the background. That just underlines again how secretive most of us still are regarding our "strange" hobby. Not just secretive, but downright ashamed, actually...
The more I think about this, the more sad it makes me. Yeah, yeah, we know all the reasons - unknowing or unaccepting spouses or SO's, trapped in DADT relationships, don't want to screw up the kids, freak out the neighbors, relatives, or friends (or frighten the horses, for that matter), fear of confrontations with "haters", fear of embarrassment, fear of losing our jobs etc....the list goes on and on.
And yet, beneath the "girly" clothes, most of us are still good husbands, partners, and providers, concerned and loving fathers (and grandfathers, uncles, sons, brothers etc.), valued employees, friends and confidants to others who don't know this side of us, taxpayers, pillars of our communities, moral and God-fearing individuals, and generally good citizens and net contributors to society.
So why then do we allow this same society to do this to us and go into self-imposed exile just because we are different and don't conform to generally accepted norms? Why are some vices somehow "okay" and more easily accepted just because they are more common, but not necessarily more superior from an ethical standpoint?
Shouldn't this type of shunning be reserved for those who truly deserve it - the pedophiles, the career criminals, the homo- and transphobes, the pimps, the drug dealers, the purveyors of child porn, the stock market wheelers and dealers who destroy companies and jobs and gut people's pension plans on the pretext of creating shareholder value, and yes - even the self-absorbed and unrepentant manipulators such as Charlie Sheen, Bill Clinton, Silvio Berlusconi etc., along with assorted other pimples on the @ss of humanity such as Paris Hilton and the Kardashians?
Their actions are so outrageous and so "out there" that they fascinate us the way train wrecks do, and somehow we can't help ourselves but to watch them while shaking our heads. And in this way, we validate their existence rather than banishing them from our minds and letting them slip back into the obscurity which they so richly deserve.
And yet, society often still dares to judge us transgendered folk far more harshly than these other "outliers", and often succeeds in brainwashing us into believing that we are some sort of lower form of life, and deserving of the scorn often heaped upon us.
Far too often, we aid and abet this vicious circle by either hiding deep in the closet, or else dressing in the aforesaid motel and hotel rooms, safely hidden behind locked doors and drawn curtains lest someone spot us indulging in our "hobby" and having their fragile psyches scarred for life as a result.
If one looks at this whole situation perfectly logically, it is total B.S., and sometimes I feel like doing what actor Peter Finch's character Howard Beale did in the 1976 movie "Network", when he went on this rant:
"All I know is that first you've got to get mad. (shouting) You've got to say: 'I'm a human being, god-dammit! My life has value!' So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell: 'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!..."
So let's take a cue from our gay and lesbian fellow travellers on this sex/gender continuum, be "loud, proud, and out", come out of hiding and go forth confidently into the big bad world, see and be seen, and don't let anyone ever try to diminish us again because of who or what we are...