What's In a Name?

[Meghan]

I know there is a female name thread, and this post will kind of touch on it, but I think this is a different slant on the question...so here it goes.

When we're born into the world, almost all of us don't get to pick our name. nicknames are a little different, because we have some preference on which one gets used, but in general there's not much of a choice.

When us males discover our female personas, I think it's natural to want to define and name that persona.

I am curious how many have struggled with the process. Personally, my name just came to me. That same name with the same spelling just came to my wife, at totally different times many years apart.

Since that name crossed my mind, I have always thought of myself by that name. When I hear Meghan used, I think of myself. I use Meghan as often as I use my male name when I think, if not more so.

I thought of this tonight because I am so unbelievably excited that I was able to get the M dropped from my screen name, so that my name is now just Meghan. I cannot begin to describe how much confidence and inspiration that gives me. It's a little thing, but it's a really big thing too.

I am very curious where others stand relative to their name. Do you feel it's fate or are you changing names when you change your nail polish? If you're not where you want to be, relative to your name, how important is fixing it? I am fascinated to learn where everyone is on this area, I haven't put much thought into it before today...

Meghan

[Jenniferathome]

It is just a name I like. I prefer two other names more, but my daughters have those names.

[AmyGaleRT]

For the longest time, my femmeself didn't have a name. Since I was mostly wearing nightgowns at that point, I didn't think it too important. I also didn't have a real notion of "her" as a distinct part of "me." Since this was also the pre-Internet days, I didn't have a lot of information to go on.

After my ex-wife left (not related to CDing, she never knew...long story) and I started acquiring, not just more nighties to replace the ones I had purged, but actual dresses, shoes, and other femme items, I started conceptualizing my femmeself as, somehow, a "different me." (Being in Second Life also helped, as you can have as many personas there as you can create accounts.) That was when I began using the name "Jaymie" (a variant of my middle name, and also a name of a friend I had in college) to designate her.

It was only after a phone conversation with my mother, in which we discussed how she'd picked my and my brothers' names, in which I learned of the name she'd have given one of us if we'd been born a girl: "Amy Gale." That name felt right to me, as, in a way, my femmeself is the daughter my mother never had, and I had the opportunity to rescue that name from "what might have been." So I'm Amy, now and forever. I even practice signing my full femme name on occasion, as if I'm declaring Amy's existence. (Aside: I tend to use less pressure when signing my name as Amy, so ballpoints don't always work. I bought a couple of Sharpie pens for my purse that work a lot better.)

As time goes on I'm sure I will work out more of Amy's "herstory," to make her feel even more "real." But her presence is very real in my life...and she's never far away, even when I'm being my male self.

- Amy

[AllyCDTV]

In a way my female name has been with me since I was born so maybe fate had something to do with it. When I chose my female name, I wanted it to be some kind of derivation of my name so I would find it easier to think of myself by that name. There is no female version of my first name but Ally could be derived from my middle name. I always liked the actress, Ally Sheedy from "The Breakfast Club," so Ally it was.

[Henna]

I actually didn't need to think about the name part. It was just sort of floating there in my mind. When I finally came to grasp the fact, that there most likely is two persons in same body and when I asked myself that what is the name of the other me, the reply was instant so to speak. Henna it is and I do like the name.

I´ve only met one other Henna in all my life and that was my first GF. But we were still nearly children, so that wasn´t even a "serious" relationship. Just children trying to learn what relationship might even mean.

[noeleena]

Hi,

I was given noel or if you like no-el both are female & male so no bothers for me, & i was allways happy with what my Mom gave me for a name, & there are some who will all ways call me noel im happy with that Jos does & will .

As for noeleena it was going to be noeleen, that was not to be so its noeleena & 2 nd name as you know edwina,

The most amazeing thing is i was given so much by other people & help, my name was no different,

...noeleena...

[ArleneRaquel]

In the distant past my female name was Maureen Fleming, later it was Katrina Maureen, Arlene Doll, MsArlene, and now ArleneRaquel, I like this one the best. My name thing goes back almost 40 years, I've been dressing for over 50 years. My first name was Maureen Fleming, I named myself after two gorgeous redheads, Maureen O' Hara, & Rhonda Fleming, this was circa 1974 when I took part in Gay Pride Activities and the local Gay Parade,even though I didn't consider myself anything but straight at the time. Each new name I have considered to be an advancement in my full time journey and I so love the names Arlene & Raquel which I believe are perfect for me. Thank you Meghan for starting this thread. Btw Meghan is a very lovely name. I was also called myself Beyonce Welch at a few sites, that name drives from Beyonce Knowles & Raquel Welch.

[Beverley Sims]

I have kept with the same female name since forever.
It does parallel my male name.

[Kelley]

I have always gone by my middle name Kelly (it's a family thing) and I never like it as a boys name. It seemed there was a cute girl in my class named Kelly and that was awkward for me. But I loved the name as a girls name. Like Amy I never thought much about having a female name until recently when I began to fully dress. I guess it was just fate because I just love my name now and it feels great when people call my name, little do they know. Only my wife and best friend know about Kelley and it is easy on my wife because she doesn't have to change names when I'm dressed.

[Angela Campbell]

It's kind of weird for me. Just this summer I dressed fully for the first time. Before that I never used makeup or a wig or shoes. When I put on the entire outfit with wig and makeup I looked in the mirror and just thought...."Hello Ellen".

[Kate Simmons]

My first female name when I first came "out", Victoria Susan Richards, had quite a lot of meaning behind it. My names, since then, have evolved along with myself as a person.

[~Joanne~]

I never gave my femme name much thought. I just liked the way it sounded at the time and have no plans to change it. I have never asked my GF, never thought of it, to give me a female name or if she had one in mind when she sees me dressed. hm, there's some food for thought and may ask later

[wilt575]

My first female name when I first came "out", Victoria Susan Richards, had quite a lot of meaning behind it. My names, since then, have evolved along with myself as a person.

I went and used altered birth certificate and got drivers license changed to my first female name, Starla and have kept it that way. Yes I've changed, but keep DL as Starla.

[GeminaRenee]

It never occurred to me that I wanted (or needed) a femme name until I started poking around the internet, and discovered that lots of other CD'ers had female monikers.

In the time since, I've gone through a few, never really getting terribly attached to any of them. Kali just happens to be the one I've chosen most recently, although I can't say that I feel it's really a part of me. I chose it because it is unique, has a nice ring to it, and is an homage to a young lady that I once knew who is astoundingly beautiful. Despite all of that... it's still just not me.

When I introduce myself to people in-trans, I feel goofy saying "Hi, I am Kali," because of course the truth is "I am [name redacted]." Yet, although my birth name is natural to me, I imagine it must be terribly incongruous to assign that name to someone wearing a sweater dress for the person I am being introduced to. Or maybe that's just in my head. And what happens to the people in my life that have come to know me by my male designation, that I have chosen to let into this part of my life? What need is there for them to call me by a new name dependent on my state of dress?

In any event, the whole affair just leaves me a bit mystified. I hope to resolve things sooner or later, either by learning to identify as Kali, or by finding a name that I really identify as, or perhaps just by saying eff it, "I am [name redacted], and I like to wear dresses."

[Renee]

I have used the name Renee for years. I had a friend in college named Renee and I always liked the way it sounded. We almost used the name for our daughter, but didnt. When the time came for me to have a fem name the first and only thing that came to mind was Renee, so it has stuck for over 30 years now. I later found out that the name Renee means "rebirth" . How appropriate

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Meghan, I never thought a female name till I joined this great forum
So I wanted a name that had no connection to any body past or present.
I kicked around a long list of names and nothing seamed to work so

I thought that Orchids are my favorite flower and Blue is my favorite color.
Orchid is a female name and so that's how BLUE ORCHID was born.

[Laura28]

I dont know why i picked Laura it was a name i picked back some 37 years ago when i was 17, for the life of me i cant rememeber why i picked it. But i have had it ever since. i have never told anyone about it and this site is the first time i put it out there. Maybe i should tell my wife one of these days, not sure how she would respond to my Femme name?????