If you knew then what you know now

[kimdl93]

How often we say this, or hear it from others. It's a bit like one those what if questions that I dislike, but as a TG person who grew up well before the Internet I can't help but wonder how my life might have differed if I had access to the wealth of information and the shared experiences available to transgendered people today.

I'm not complaining, mind you, I'm very happy to have reached this point and to have the life I live. But as I said to a friend today, one can't help but look wistfully at our younger members and wonder what if...

[Miriam-J]

It's truly so amazing, and I hope our younger members appreciate the difference. The web to help us feel unalone, gain confidence, and improve our clothing and makeup. Social attitudes that, while far from universally supportive, at least encourage many to have an open mind - especially among the young.

At least we get to experience it now, while we're still alive. So many must have lived their whole lives with so much less.

Miriam

[UNDERDRESSER]

Yes, I wonder how much impact the web is going to affect us old fogies as the younger generation get to stretch their wings? If say, a couple of younger guys start wearing openly at work, and the world doesn't end, would you consider coming out?

[Kate Simmons]

I wouldn't change things one bit my friend.

[Launa]

I think about this a lot and if I had the support like I do here 25+ years ago then things would have been different alright!

[Julie Gaum]

I doubt if I'm exaggerating to say that Kindl's experience of feeling alone in the universe has been repeated a million times until the advent of the Internet.
Yes we all envy the younger generation for growing up in the information age. Actually in 1938 I saw my first TV (8 inches by 8 inches) in the home of a school chum by the name of Tom Sarnoff. His father founded RCA and transmitted from his office. Now the variety and capacity of mobile apps has gone far beyond my comprehension. What will the future hold for CDs? I will not live long enough to find out.
Julie

[kimdl93]

I doubt if I'm exaggerating to say that Kindl's experience of feeling alone in the universe has been repeated a million times until the advent of the Internet.
Yes we all envy the younger generation for growing up in the information age. Actually in 1938 I saw my first TV (8 inches by 8 inches) in the home of a school chum by the name of Tom Sarnoff. His father founded RCA and transmitted from his office. Now the variety and capacity of mobile apps has gone far beyond my comprehension. What will the future hold for CDs? I will not live long enough to find out.
Julie

Wow, Julie, thanks for sharing an incredible perspective!

[AlyssaS]

If I knew all the resources that were out there, I might have answered 'yes' to my parents when they asked if I wanted to be a girl after getting caught when I was 9 or 10. I assumed I was a freak at the time, so said no. I don't really regret that decision, because I have a wonderful life with a great family, but I do sometimes wonder what would have happened.

[Angela Campbell]

It's not just me knowing all I know now it is if everyone else did. In my younger days people were just not at all accepting of a man who wants to be a lady. If I knew then what I know now, and if society was then like it is now, well maybe things could have been different. Maybe not. Other than dressing and maybe transitioning, I would change a lot of things. I would have gone to college sooner, I wouldn't have married the two women I did, and I would buy Microsoft stock.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kim, Growing up in the 40s' & 50s' it was a very lonely place for Crossdressers .
I had to figure out everything myself the hard way it wasn't till my late 20s'
that I found Crossdressing papers and magazines at the adult book stores.

It's hard to imagine what Crossdressing would have been like if I had
the INTERNET growing up.

[jillleanne]

Sort of like stating, " if pigs could fly". If you wonder what if, you also need to include changes in the cost of living, the economy, job perspectives, hatred, pigotry, and a million other things. We can't isolate one part of our life in relationship to our past without including all the other enviromental and social elements that exist today with what we know today. Sure, I asked myself that same question once and concluded; there simply is no way of knowing how I would have reacted, differently or otherwise, and secondly, love who I am, love being out f/t, and am having a blast riding on this merry-go-round discovering something new about myself every week.

[nvlady]

You mean there were other CD's before the internet? I thought I was the only one.

[Dawn cd]

Not only do we have a wealth of information thru the internet, but the whole science of treating gender dysphoria has developed geometrically in recent years. If I were a young person today—knowing what I know and having the science available to me—I would opt to transition in a flash.

[AllyCDTV]

I am very content with where I am at today. I do believe if I had access to all the technology there is today, I would be in a much different place now and given my perspective, I don't think it would be a good place. I doubt if my masculine side would have developed to the degree it did. And it is not only because of the greater amount of information available. I think technologies like virtual sex via Web camming may have hurt my over all social development too. I could definitely see the ease of virtual sex overriding the desire for actual physical human contact and I think that is a bad thing.

While the technology of today offers some bright spots, it is not without its pitfalls too. I think the challenges for young transgenders today are just as difficult for me when I was young, they are just different challenges.

[I Am Paula]

I think this question is most pertinant to those who began as CD/trans/omnigender etc. before the internet. It was the biggest advance to us. Medical advancements also made great strides since then. Transition in 1975 was not a viable option. Most Dr's knew nothing about it, and surgery was is it's infancy. I attempted to see what options were available to me, and my G.P. had me do the research, then chickened out, sent me to a 'specialist' in New York, who also ended up not knowing anything. I gave up. I met a few transgirls in Paris in 1980. At that point HRT consisted of larger and larger doses of premarin, and nothing to counteract increasing T levels. It made for a toxic drug mix, and questionable results. Anyone considering transition now can do tons of research, expect to find knowledgeable practicioners, and can go in knowing what to expect. If I was thirty years old now, I would have transitioned. On the flipside of the 'If I knew then...' arguement, I would not have met my current wife.-Celeste

[lingerieLiz]

Yes the internet has opened up the our knowledge about things that many would not discuss before.

I grew up thinking that because I liked to dress I must be gay and wanted to be a woman. And, if that was true, I was less a person. Today the internet gives us the chance to research and better understand differences in our makeup.

[Cindy J Angel]

Yes what if we did know more, for me that was a long time ago lets see born 1958 started to figer out what mom was doing with the bar and hose at 5 ,
1963 some were i got it in my head i need to shave my lags got the left one done and was all most done with the right whin it happened cut it all the way from the shin to the knee right on the front bone (steel have the scar).

around 1965/66 not much happen for a wile was a boy had good child hood. lets see around 76thuough80 was in the navy and got out in the wourld crossdress a coupl times try some more thinks. all ways had hose some were around.

I new a bout gays and all then in the 80 met quit a fue had some fun but wish i was more bolder then. 90 not much yet intell 98 when i get my first comp and figered out what the hell was going on with me

so back to what we were talk about this was a time that u did not talk about this kind of stuff.
I saw a gay at a show in 77 he had both ears done . all i could think of for days was that was what i wented tryed but just could not go through with it.

after 98 i have cout up with cindy and she gos out not all the time but i do get out and will be going to have my first hair cut dress as cindy
2012
so if i had know what i know now. I steel would have taken this long to get hear... I am tuff but we all need our soport group of people we meet with through out our life.

i would not trady enty part of it well mayb some if i could would take aver bad think i have done to all back.

but we all wish we could have had two lives and then pick witch one we went say we live as a girl for 16 years and then start over as a boy then we are given a chose we can remember both for a little and after we chouse well them that is what we will b nan i like it as it is lv cindy

[Amy Fakley]

If I knew where I was going, I'd have walked right to it in a straight line.

As it is, I was set on a wandering path. If I'd have had the knowledge of self I have now when I was 20, then I'd certainly have avoided more mistakes than I can count. There's very little doubt in my mind, that I'd have jumped right in and made a b-line toward transition. But there's so much I also would have bypassed ... the struggle to ignore my gender issues has focused my mind on so many unusual things over the years. I might not be a musician, nor write software. I might not have spent so many hours examining my own motives, pondering the nature of the universe and my place in it. I most certainly would not have the children I have now, nor my wife. I don't necessarily regret the path I've taken ... it was simply inevitable; there was no other path to take than the one the universe set me on.

Today's path is different for many. I'm thankful for the internet and some of the ways it's transforming our world, and the young'uns today ... for some of them, the world is limitless and accessible in ways I could barely imagine 20 years ago. It's an exciting time.

[Beverley Sims]

You have dug this up from the past and my view has not changed.
If I was twenty I would have probably transitioned along with three others that were successful.
They still looked fantastic when they were thirty.

[Eryn]

I would very much like to have had the information I needed to come to terms with myself a few decades ago. However, it might have taken my life in a different direction which, overall, would not have been a good thing.

[Henna]

When I was 15 to 20 years old, internet was just making it´s way to general public. I actually remember, when and where I used internet for the first time and what I thought afterwards: "Why on earth would I want to be using this?".

If I would be now 15 to 20 years old and have the information available for me via internet, it might have made me understand the fact, that sexuality and gender are not the same thing (which wasn´t discussed at home at all, nothing related to sexuality and genders). It might have prevented me being completely wrecked and end up with a mental disorder diagnose from doctors, who probably didn´t understand at all what was wrong with me. I can´t really blame them, as I never said anything about the other side of me, that it was feminine. They could tell another "personality" from the test, but nothing specific. I just thought myself as a pervert and that I really shouldn´t tell that to anyone, or I´ll stay locked up for the rest of my life. Internet might have made me understand earlier, that I´m not a pervert.

I don´t know where that road might have gone...

[noeleena]

Hi,

What if i had known what i know now, , i did, not in terms of all that we talk about as it would have ment nothing to me,

Allso iv had a life iv got expreance to back my self up. & with out that i would not be were i am now,

I belive for my self timeing of how things went were what i needed, i knew that the right timeing for every thing in my life was right,
How to explain that,

Had i not been ready for things in my life it would not have worked, there were things i had to do & so when i was ready it all worked in the way it was ment to, .& timeing for people to be in place for when i needed them, & that is what is so fantastic ,

Im so glad i dont have to look back & say what ...if...its i know what was right for me, & even now im in the right place & right time, i know its different yet most of my life has been different, so i cant be more happyer than i am now, really thats about haveing a peace with in & being content.


...noeleena...

[prescilla]

I so agree with you, I am 58 living a remote town in Australia with no previous hope of any interaction with fellow dressers. God bless the internet.
Prescilla

[Cheryl T]

Had I had all this information and the ability to discover all the support that's available I certainly would have come out much sooner.

[stephNE]

Thank you Kim, another good thread.
As I have said on here before, the only things I regret, are things that I DIDN'T do. So everyone, try to live life to the fullest, do what makes you happy, and strive to make others happy as well.