I think we need to start a crossdresser's anonymous (CA) to help people quit. Somehow I don't think it will be too successful though...
I think we need to start a crossdresser's anonymous (CA) to help people quit. Somehow I don't think it will be too successful though...
You have been here for a couple of weeks now.
I advise you put all your clothes in a plastic bag with mothballs.
You may stay out of it for a while.
If you have good will power you will succeed in your quest.
Most of us here are lame brained in one way or another and have decided to take the easy way out.
If you do well please come back and laugh at us the way we are laughing at you now.
There is plenty of moral support here but not a great deal of sympathy to some one showing a lot of angst.
The advice here is store your clothes, they are expensive to replace and if you feel frustrated you might reflect on what might have been.
Also do not burn your bridges behind you, someone else will rebuild them anyway.
I wish you well in your quest and hope you have a good outcome.
Do not be embarrassed to post again as we have all had similar frustrating times.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Don't completely quit so fast. Go execise, go on a small road trip into the mountains or country side for a few days. Then in a month you just need a good fresh head to toe makeover, a waredrobe consultant and a couple days shopping.
I hear you brother/sister, CDing is a burden. It complicates every part of my life. But I have learned that it is far worse to resist it and hate it, always returning back to it than to accept it and do my best to keep it in check. A lot of people here have said things like, "see you tomorrow." I personally do believe that a person could quit if they really wanted it bad enough, if their motivation is high enough. We just don't ever see those people, good luck.
Evidently the OP meant what he said. He hasn't replied since the beginning.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Linda, you frequently make this point: "If you want to quit, you can." I fail to see, though, that it actually says anything. Everybody knows, as the witnesses on this very thread prove, that you can give up CDing for a while, maybe even a long while. But you can't give up being trans. You do see the difference, don't you? Because if you don't, you don't understand what TGism is--which would be rather odd, coming from someone who's trans herself. What I'm saying is that the point you're making is pointless.Originally Posted by linda allen
And then you assume that there are people who've quit for good. On what grounds? On the grounds that they aren't on this forum. In other words, you're assuming something is true on the basis of a lack of witnesses, testimony and evidence. Which seems to me to be a rather odd procedure. I'm not sure how well it would go over in a court of law.
And to the OP: hang in there. We've all been there. We're still your friends. Call on us if you need us.
Best wishes, Annabelle
Not all people that purge their crossdressing activities come back to crossdressing again. Since being involved in the local tg/cding community and the kink community, I have had friends that did in fact quit. Most of these friends just became bored of their crossdressing activities and totally lost the interest.
"Quit" ? Such a foreign concept I had to go look up the meaning. I wish you well in your endeavor.
[SIZE="4"]Bye bye. Call if you find meaningful work or a better hobby. One nice thing, you can always come back under a new identity with better lingerie and no one will ever know. Cool huh?[/SIZE]
Lynn Marie
Click here to see me on Flickr
I wish her the best. I know the feeling - until one accepts oneself without worrying about which label to affix, its a difficult life. By the way, the labels are not a badge or labels on a box. CD, TG and TS are abstractions, just descriptive terms that we can use, if we have a shared vocabulary, to describe ourselves to others. "Apple" is a word that we use when we want to refer to that particular fruit. But its just a word, not the object itself. Similarly, I may characterize myself as CD and TG but those words are not me...merely convenient decriptors. Its easier if to accept yourself if you use words to gain understanding, but not to label yourself.
i tried purging many times but i get the urge and start all over again
She'll be back. She's probably just flustered about something--I'm sure we've all been there before <3 come back when you're ready ok =]
Thank you!
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
Or these dressers did it just for kicks and wasn't really a part of them like so many. Maybe it was just a kinky little hobby of theirs.
One has to ask one's self why one desires to crossdress in the first place.
Please read post #58.
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
If I may add something- I haven't been Cd-ing for very long at all (4-6 months), but I liken my mental feelings to a pendulum. Sometimes, the pendulum swings over to the "girl" side of me, and I get the urge to dress up...sometimes all the way, sometimes not- depending on how far that pendulum swings. Once that pendulum has swung towards the "girl" side, it'll swing back towards the "boy" side, and that's when I feel these "why am I doing this?" or "anti-CD" feelings... Then, the pendulum swings back the other way, and so forth....
That's at least one way to look at it at least...
1) It isn't too difficult to quit smoking if you've only smoked one pack. But a pack a day for 10 years makes quitting a real challenge of self discipline. <analogy
2) Also, if there are no cigarettes within easy reach there's less temptation.
As far as CDing goes I've gone months, even years without wearing a single article of women's clothes. (See 2, change cigarettes to panties)
You can check out any time you want...
But you can never leave.
Don't do anything rash or expensive, you can always come back.
Sandra1746
Actually a few of them were at the point where they were questioning their gender. One in fact was in the process of transitioning, met and married a bisexual women while living fulltime, decided to get off the hormones and stop the transitioning, had a child, was nudged on to still atleast crossdress by his spouse, then decided that crossdressing is not for him any more and hasn't crossdressed since.
A more recent case was a friend that was the president of the local crossdressing group a couple years ago, had to take testosterone because of a genetic medical condition. His drive to crossdress has declined to absolutely nothing.
Last edited by Princess Chantal; 11-17-2012 at 11:25 PM. Reason: did not want to post back to back replies
That right there is the scariest thing IMO.
Starting to transition only to later discover that you were dead wrong.
I think at that point I'd lose the will to live, how could you ever trust yourself with anything ever again?
I often wonder how many people that transition wind up with grave regrets later. To me it would seem like a case of exchanging one set of problems for another set of even bigger problems. Couple that with the questionable success of creating a clitoris and possibly loosing the ability to ever achieve an orgasm again must make for a very difficult set of circumstances to deal with.
"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think." - The Buddha
To the OP, I can only say that I hope you at least stop by and read the thoughtful posts here. They will help you in your quest to find yourself. One thing that stands out, that is said over and over in other posts, is that even as regards feelings of quitting we are an assemblage of individuals of varying makeup. Do I believe that some can quit cold turkey completely, of course. If the OP can do that, more power to them. I believe many can quit dressing for periods of time, but they do not lose the thoughts, and for most, those thoughts draw us back to complete the thoughts.
I have such great willpower that I can stop dressing for 4 or 5 days easily....lol But I cannot stop thinking about what it is within me that drives me to do this, and these thoughts are far more comforting than the actual dressing now.
I wish the OP all the best. Just don't beat yourself up if you find the thoughts returning, don't let you rdesire to quit bring on a depression when it gets difficult. We are all here for you, and anyone else.
Barbara
He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
- Friedrich Nietzche -
I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.
I think we all wish you well.Hope it works out for you.Most of us on here have gone through it.Just don't throw out your stuff.Over the last several yrs I've tried to put Michelle away for awhile but it was almost like breaking up with someone you love.I felt so lonely and empty inside.I missed that side of me terribly.My femme side is now a big part of who I am.I'm finaly coming to grips with the fact that it always was but I was running from it.
If I knew where it was going to take me I probably would have put my mother's panties back.
I've read it. I've read all the other posts on this thread, too. There's more than one.
Someone who CD's for a while isn't necessarily trans. Look at Post #71. People can question their gender orientation and eventually decide that they're not trans. It makes giving up CDing easier because it's not really for them. Such people would be a very tiny minority on this forum. In fact, I don't recall ever having seen one. Your remarks might be pertinent to them, but they wouldn't be for everybody else here.
It reminds me of a woman I knew who experimented for a while with a lesbian lifestyle before eventually deciding that she wasn't lesbian. She didn't give up lesbianism. She was never a lesbian to begin with.
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